text41628;"""Still, this wasn't how I'd imagined <i>work</i>…"""
text41629;"""When we arrived in the village, it became clear almost right away that Kyosuke's money wouldn't last long."""
text41630;"""Sure, Kagome easily got a job at the only local joint, although you couldn't call it a \""restaurant\"" even compared to Gifts of the Sea."""
text41631;"""I, meanwhile, wasn't much of a cook, and all the other unskilled work in the village was taken by local kids and teenagers."""
text41632;"""Why would they need a grown-up loafer, let alone one not Japanese?"""
text41633;"""I had only one, most obvious option left — hard, menial labor."""
text41634;"""Next to the village was a coal mine that, miraculously, hadn't been depleted this far into the 20th century, and where most of the local men worked."""
text41635;"""In places like that, nobody asks for a CV, university degree, or a letter of recommendation: as long as you've got your arms and legs, aren't disabled, and can swing a pickaxe, you're welcome!"""
text41636;"""Besides, it wasn't common there to ask about the past of new miners — not everybody enjoyed talking about that subject."""
text41637;"""My colleagues were generally good people, albeit a bit quiet and gloomy."""
text41638;"""They must have been surprised that a European-looking guy had come to work in a mine out in the Japanese countryside, but nobody showed it or asked me any questions."""
text41639;"""I was fine with that, and they paid decently. Not that I was in any condition to complain """
text41640;"""Kagome and I rented a single room for two at the local hotel to cut costs."""
text41641;"""At first, I was a little embarrassed by the prospect of living together with a girl my age in a six tatami space, while she didn't seem at all bothered by the situation."""
text41642;"""She earned less than me at her place, but also worked fewer hours — sometimes, returning home after my shift, I could only fall onto my futon, exhausted."""
text41643;"""Kagome organized our everyday lives as much as it was possible considering the situation— she cooked, cleaned, washed our clothes."""
text41644;"""But it was a sensible division of responsibilities considering the difference in our income and skills, so no matter how much I tried, I couldn't exactly feel too much gratitude."""
text41645;"""I didn't socialize much with the other miners at work, except for the obligatory Japanese drinking parties."""
text41646;"""Almost all of them had families, and they preferred to spend their free time with them."""
text41647;"""Meanwhile, Kagome became instantly beloved by the local old ladies, both thanks to her cooking and politeness (mostly the obligatory kind, though)."""
text41648;"""Besides, having someone new in this village was already exciting enough."""
text41649;"""Of course, she got a lot of questions — who she was, where she came from, and what she was doing there."""
text41650;"""Kagome wasn't stupid — that I didn't have to worry about — and remained heroically silent, only giving short, pointless explanations."""
text41651;"""And of course, the female half of the community couldn't quite leave alone the matter of us living together."""
text41652;"""After a short discussion, we decided it'd be easier to conform to their expectations and pretend we were a couple."""
text41653;"""Once again, I found it difficult to calmly accept all these unexpected twists of fate that were slowly and inevitably forcing us closer."""
text41654;"""At the same time, she was miraculously resilient, pretending none of it had anything to do with her at all."""
text41655;"""Or, perhaps, I was the only one reading more into the situation."""
text41656;"""It was hard for me to define my feelings for Kagome clearly."""
text41657;"""Against the wishes of writers and dramatists, war and love do not go well together."""
text41658;"""In a sense, we were at war — our own little cold war with Kobayashi Corporation."""
text41659;"""The problem was, we had no chance to switch to an offensive — all we could do was retreat."""
text41660;"""The longer we hid, living like this, the harder it got for me."""
text41661;"""Maybe it was more in Kagome's character to handle hardships and misfortune, so she found it easier to adapt to our new environment."""
text41662;"""But I woke up every day with pain in my entire body and a desire to die."""
text41663;"""You'd think my muscles would get stronger over time, but either my body wasn't designed for this kind of work or too little time had passed…"""
text41664;"""In any case, it got more and more difficult each day."""
text41665;"""And though physically I still felt like I had some reserves left, mentally I was at my limit."""
text41666;"""The only consolation was that the villagers soon accepted us and stopped paying us any real attention."""
text41667;"""I didn't know how it happened."""
text41668;"""Maybe it was due to the charms Kagome had up until then hidden from me."""
text41669;"""And yeah, she was much friendlier at her new workplace than she used to be at her own restaurant."""
text41670;"""Every time I dropped by to check on her, the regulars would always whisper about what a lovely couple we were."""
text41671;"""Naturally, Kagome paid no attention to it, but I find it difficult to ignore this sort of gossip."""
text41672;"""And then, at some point, I caught myself thinking that I was used to it…"""
text41673;"""It didn't happen at once, like an epiphany — just one day I realized as I was returning from work that I was eager to get into our small hotel room, see Kagome, and tell her how my day had gone."""
text41674;"""To be honest, there wasn't much to tell — one day in a mine is much like another."""
text41675;"""Kagome, meanwhile, didn't enjoy talking about everyday trifles, and there wasn't much going on in the village anyway."""
text41676;"""Maybe it was for the better…"""
text41677;"""But, the mere thought that I'd accepted our current situation…<w> It didn't scare me, no, but annoyed me like the label of a shirt rubbing against your neck."""
text41678;"""Had I accepted it as <i>normal</i> just because time had passed, or was it because of Kagome?"""
text41679;"""I was sure she couldn't fail to notice my inner turmoil, but she didn't give any sign she did."""
text41680;"""Time passed, and the threat of Kobayashi Corporation turned from clear and tangible, into distant and ephemeral."""
text41681;"""Anxiety over the Corporation gave place to anxiety over my relationship with Kagome."""
text41682;"""For the first few weeks, I'd been afraid to call Kyosuke or anyone else in Tokyo, but eventually Kagome and I took a train to some nameless substation."""
text41683;"""Kyosuke informed us that her grandfather was safe, he was seeing him regularly, and we had nothing to worry about."""
text41684;"""Kagome was sincerely happy, and I also felt relieved."""
text41685;"""I asked Kyosuke about the Corporation, but he hadn't seen anyone following him or anything."""
text41686;"""That was strange. <w>That'd mean that they somehow found and freed Ellie, and then just left us alone…"""
text41687;"""Could she have even not told her grandfather who had kidnapped her?"""
text41688;"""Then, maybe we hadn't had to run away from Tokyo at all?"""
text41689;"""That thought ate away at my determination with each passing day."""
text41690;"""Sometimes I just wanted to ditch everything and go home — and be what may!"""
text41691;"""But every night, walking into our small room and seeing Kagome, I immediately forgot this silly thought."""
text41692;"""I could blame her for us being there all I wanted, but I right now more than anything else I wanted to protect the girl that I'd just recently blamed for all my misfortunes."""
text41693;"""October came to its end, the morning fog was getting denser, and I had to get ready for work when twilight still reigned outside."""
text41694;"""While I was forcing myself to get up and get dressed, Kagome was still peacefully asleep."""
text41695;"""Yes, my shifts at the mine finished earlier than hers did, but, if I could, I would have gladly swapped places with her to sleep a bit longer."""
text41696;"""How long we were supposed to live like <i>this</i>?"""
text41697;"""It had already been a month — and then there'd be a year, then the next one, and the next one?"""
text41698;"""What came first for me — this kind of life itself or the fact that I had to lead it together it with Kagome?"""
text41699;"""How long could we keep just sharing a room?"""
text41700;"""Today, the monotony of the daily grind was broken by an uncommon event."""
text41701;"""An accident happened in the mine — one of the miners had his leg run over by a trolly, so we were let home earlier."""
text41702;"""An inevitable risk of the profession…"""
text41703;"""If he ended up disabled and couldn't work — what would happen to his family?"""
text41704;"""What would happen to me if I were in his place?"""
text41705;"""Would Kagome take care of me…?"""
text41706;"""On the way home I bought some groceries and entered the hotel with my head full of heavy contemplation."""
text41707;"""Kagome stood in the hall, looking thoughtfully at the phone."""
text41708;"""Hi…?"""
text41709;"""Niko-san?"""
text41710;"""She flinched and looked at me like she had done something wrong and expected punishment for it."""
text41711;"""Why are you here so early today?"""
text41712;"""They let us go early."""
text41713;"""Just like that, for no reason?"""
text41714;"""For some reason, I didn't want to tell her about what had happened."""
text41715;"""But there was also no point in hiding the truth."""
text41716;"""Mato-san forgot to put a trolly on handbrake and got his leg run over…"""
text41717;"""Was it bad?"""
text41718;"""She asked carefully."""
text41719;"""I don't know. He definitely got a fracture, maybe more than one."""
text41720;"""You have a dangerous job, Niko-san."""
text41721;"""Yeah, well…"""
text41722;"""Still, what was she doing here?"""
text41723;"""And you… were you going to call somebody?"""
text41724;"""Me? No. And who could I call?!"""
text41725;"""Aren't you worried about your grandfather?"""
text41726;"""Of course I am. But we agreed we'd only call Tokyo together."""
text41727;"""Had we?<w> I couldn't recall anything like that."""
text41728;"""Alright, fine…"""
text41729;"""I decided not to argue with her."""
text41730;"""Here, I bought some food…"""
text41731;"""Kagome took the groceries from me and went to the kitchen to cook dinner."""
text41732;"""…"""
text41733;"""The evening crawled in quietly."""
text41734;"""If you looked at it from the outside, you could probably get the impression that she was perfectly fine with our situation."""
text41735;"""After Kyosuke had let us know that her grandfather was okay, Kagome no longer talked about him, the Corporation, or our plans for the future."""
text41736;"""She also didn't mention anything about her father, as if the problem of his kidnapping had disappeared after our unsuccessful blackmail attempt."""
text41737;"""Every person deals with difficulties in their own way, but wasn't her attitude akin to fatalism or even apathy?"""
text41738;"""I definitely wasn't planning to work with a pickaxe until my hair turned grey, quietly waiting for an unfixed trolly to run over my leg."""
text41739;"""In Tokyo, Kagome had said she wasn't going to work her whole life at that restaurant — had she given up and accepted her fate so easily?"""
text41740;"""Not to mention Todai…"""
text41741;"""I'm back."""
text41742;"""Kagome skilfully carried two plates and a bag."""
text41743;"""Maybe I wanted something more than noodles with vegetables, but it was all we had…"""
text41744;"""Mato-san…"""
text41745;"""She began with a look on her face like she had been dragged to the funeral of a third cousin of her grandmother who she'd never seen in her life."""
text41746;"""Mato-san would have been touched by her empathy!"""
text41747;"""Is he going to be okay?"""
text41748;"""I'm not a doctor, but it looked pretty bad."""
text41749;"""There was seemingly no point in going easy with Kagome — she didn't look particularly shocked."""
text41750;"""Niko-san, please be careful."""
text41751;"""She said without much of an expression, but her words surprised me."""
text41752;"""As if I have a choice…"""
text41753;"""At least you've put on some muscle."""
text41754;"""She suddenly smiled."""
text41755;"""It's just a physiological process — nothing to do with me."""
text41756;"""If you say so."""
text41757;"""Look, I've been thinking…"""
text41758;"""I finally finally found the courage to start."""
text41759;"""We've been in this village for a while — isn't it time to decide what we're going to do next?"""
text41760;"""What do you mean?"""
text41761;"""We can't live our whole lives… like <i>this</i>!"""
text41762;"""Yes, I suppose."""
text41763;"""She responded briefly, as if she wasn't interested in the conversation at all."""
text41764;"""I'm not forcing anything, but don't forget who's at fault for us being here."""
text41765;"""I didn't want us to start pointing fingers at each other again, but Kagome's lack of emotional response was getting on my nerves."""
text41766;"""Who, then?"""
text41767;"""Alright! That's not what I meant. It's just, time is passing by, and we—"""
text41768;"""Kagome interrupted me:"""
text41769;"""Do you want to go back to Tokyo?"""
text41770;"""It doesn't matter what I want. Whether I want it or not — it's impossible."""
text41771;"""But do you want to?"""
text41772;"""And you don't?"""
text41773;"""Me…?"""
text41774;"""She said in such a bland tone that I couldn't hold myself back anymore."""
text41775;"""You make it sound like we're stuck here because I want us to be!"""
text41776;"""You're used to working at a restaurant, but what if I'd never lifted anything heavier than a beer bottle before?!"""
text41777;"""Do you think I want to become the next cripple after Mato-san? Are you going to take care of me?"""
text41778;"""…"""
text41779;"""And even if you are, will you have the time, energy, and money?"""
text41780;"""…"""
text41781;"""She wasn't reacting at all to my attacks, but I suddenly felt ashamed."""
text41782;"""Sorry. I didn't mean to…"""
text41783;"""It's just that, we're in the same boat, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one rowing."""
text41784;"""Not even sometimes… Often!"""
text41785;"""Maybe I'm rowing in the opposite direction?"""
text41786;"""Kagome smirked, stood up, and began to collect the dishes."""
text41787;"""Thanks for the food, Iwamura-san!"""
text41788;"""The sarcasm in my voice was almost enough to make the plates ring."""
text41789;"""…"""
text41790;"""While Kagome was washing dishes in the shared kitchen, I didn't know what to busy myself with."""
text41791;"""It was still early, the sun had just gone down — usually at this time we would only just go up to the surface to wash ourselves and change our clothes after a long day at work."""
text41792;"""That would take another good hour — it isn't an easy task to clean off all the dirt from under the ground."""
text41793;"""Going back to the village on the company's bus was another half an hour."""
text41794;"""And when I would come back, rush hour at Kagome's place would only just be starting."""
text41795;"""Luckily enough, unlike in Tokyo, no establishment here stayed open late into the night."""
text41796;"""People were used getting up and going to bed early."""
text41797;"""Kagome would come back home when I was starting to fall asleep, quickly make dinner for us, and then we would go to sleep."""
text41798;"""We didn't have too much time to talk on weekdays, and she'd often end up working on weekends too, as those hours paid the most."""
text41799;"""We'd lived in this village for a month already, but how much time had we really spent together?"""
text41800;"""It was probably only logical to call such a relationship forced cohabitation…"""
text41801;"""…"""
text41802;"""Kagome was sitting at the window and looking out at the street; the few villagers still out this late were hurrying home."""
text41803;"""I was idly flipping through the pages of some manga I'd bought at the local store — there was no hope to find anything better in this backwater."""
text41804;"""Sometimes, I'd look away from the pages and shift my gaze towards Kagome."""
text41805;"""Was she bored?"""
text41806;"""For now I was managing to persuade myself that it was better to <i>live</i> like this than <i>not live</i> at all."""
text41807;"""But sometimes I felt like I was about to go crazy from the depression and monotony."""
text41808;"""Kagome, on the other hand, could spend hours just watching the people that idly walked past the hotel."""
text41809;"""Maybe it was because she'd already had to go through a complete change in her life once, so she adapted to her new circumstances easier than me."""
text41810;"""Are we going just going to sit in silence?"""
text41811;"""What's there to talk about, Niko-san?"""
text41812;"""She parried phlegmatically without even turning her head."""
text41813;"""After today's accident with Mato-san, I'm starting to wonder who's next."""
text41814;"""That sort of accident is common in mines. And I'm not exactly a brilliant miner!"""
text41815;"""Then maybe you should find something else?"""
text41816;"""She finally looked at me and smiled."""
text41817;"""Like what?"""
text41818;"""We could use someone who can wash dishes. Sometimes, there are so many guests that we just can't handle them all."""
text41819;"""Even if I agreed to the job… How much would it pay?"""
text41820;"""Less than the mine."""
text41821;"""Exactly my point! Would it be enough to make ends meet?"""
text41822;"""We'd once calculated that if I were paid as much as Kagome, it'd be enough for rent, but we'd need to start saving on food."""
text41823;"""So neither us would be able to survive on their own."""
text41824;"""In a way, Kagome had an easier relationship with money than I did — she was used to cutting costs and didn't see it as much of a problem."""
text41825;"""In contrast, the thought of eating only plain rice terrified me."""
text41826;"""Are you unhappy with your life?"""
text41827;"""Are you happy with it?!"""
text41828;"""I smirked powerlessly."""
text41829;"""If we can't change anything, what's the point of complaining?"""
text41830;"""Can't change anything…"""
text41831;"""I grumbled."""
text41832;"""We shouldn't have let things come to this in the first place!"""
text41833;"""Niko-san, is there something upsetting you again?"""
text41834;"""I didn't want to start looking for someone to blame yet again."""
text41835;"""After all, we were going to live together for quite a while longer — what was the point in souring our relationship?"""
text41836;"""<i>Live together for quite a while</i> — these words were painting our future a bit too…<w> intimately?"""
text41837;"""Everything's great!"""
text41838;"""I snapped and got back to my manga."""
text41839;"""…"""
text41840;"""But following the stupid and naïve plot bored me pretty quickly."""
text41841;"""Maybe it was time to ditch <note=note145>shonen for seinen</note>?"""
text41842;"""Maybe we should go somewhere?"""
text41843;"""For example?"""
text41844;"""Well, I don't know…"""
text41845;"""Really, the only noteworthy place of high culture in this village was the place Kagome worked at."""
text41846;"""Besides, it's late."""
text41847;"""Yeah, it is…"""
text41848;"""You know, I thought that despite Mato-san's misfortune, we'd finally get a chance to be together."""
text41849;"""What are you implying?"""
text41850;"""Nothing!"""
text41851;"""I immediately felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and lowered my head."""
text41852;"""So, are you asking me out, Niko-san?"""
text41853;"""I could hear playful notes in her voice."""
text41854;"""…"""
text41855;"""How long ago had I fallen in love with this girl?"""
text41856;"""How long ago had I realized that Kagome had become something more to me than just a partner in crime?"""
text41857;"""The thought burnt my body like a shot of boiling water and removed my ability to think clearly."""
text41858;"""Was there a reason for my feelings, a starting point?"""
text41859;"""Right now, it didn't matter."""
text41860;"""Even if so…"""
text41861;"""I said quietly."""
text41862;"""I understand that you didn't plan to get stuck in this godforsaken village together with me."""
text41863;"""I understand that you'd prefer it was that red-haired friend of yours next to you, that American girl, or Kobayashi…"""
text41864;"""But it is what it is."""
text41865;"""She seemed to be apologizing, but in a voice that made it sound more like she was scolding me."""
text41866;"""Why would you think that?"""
text41867;"""Isn't it true?"""
text41868;"""I've never said that."""
text41869;"""If people said everything they think…"""
text41870;"""Maybe we'd all have a better life then!"""
text41871;"""So, is there something you're not telling me, Niko-san?"""
text41872;"""What…?"""
text41873;"""I grew embarrassed again."""
text41874;"""I desperately wanted to cool down."""
text41875;"""I'll step out — I need to… need to… go to the toilet!"""
text41876;"""I walked out of the room unnaturally slowly and immediately ran down the stairs to the ground floor."""
text41877;"""The owner of the hotel, an old lady, was sleeping behind the reception desk."""
text41878;"""I had taken a liking to her at first sight, and, as it turned out later, not without reason."""
text41879;"""Not only was she kind and polite, but she didn't ask unnecessary questions."""
text41880;"""Although she was adamant about providing a discount for renting the room long term."""
text41881;"""The fact that I'd somehow managed to fall in love with Kagome seemed weird and wild, like I'd lost my mind without even noticing."""
text41882;"""(How do you even tell if you've lost your mind…?)"""
text41883;"""Although there were plenty of hints, of course — take, for example, my irrational desire to protect her even against my own interest."""
text41884;"""But then what was I to do?"""
text41885;"""How could I look her in the eyes after having realized my feelings?"""
text41886;"""Suddenly, the desire to go back to Tokyo and have my old life appeared so pointless."""
text41887;"""If we were together, the location didn't matter to me — whether it was the capital of Japan or a backwater village."""
text41888;"""But was I the only one who felt an instant change in my outlook on life — for Kagome, nothing had changed."""
text41889;"""Did she love me?"""
text41890;"""What did she even think about Nikolai Anokhin behind her solemn and detached mask?"""
text41891;"""I didn't want to go back to the room, but it didn't seem like a good idea to keep standing in the hall for no reason either."""
text41892;"""Suddenly, I started to believe that Kagome would suspect I was doing something wrong if I stayed here long."""
text41893;"""She was still sitting at the window and looking out at the street."""
text41894;"""Are you back?"""
text41895;"""Kagome asked me without looking."""
text41896;"""Yeah."""
text41897;"""I responded briefly, sat behind the table, and grabbed that boring manga."""
text41898;"""…"""
text41899;"""We kept sitting like that, in almost complete silence, only rarely exchanging a few words, until late into the night."""
text41900;"""Goodnight."""
text41901;"""This time I dragged my futon further away than usual from hers — to the other end of the room."""
text41902;"""Goodnight, Niko-san."""
text41903;"""It seemed that just a day before everything had been fine and in perfect order, and I hadn't been worried about us sleeping in the same room."""
text41904;"""But now, my back was going numb every two minutes and I had to toss and turn a lot."""
text41905;"""I desperately wanted to fall asleep, wake up tomorrow with a fresh head, and try to figure out what I was supposed to do next…"""
text41906;"""But sleep refused to come."""
text41907;"""Kagome lay quietly. <w>I tried to listen carefully, but couldn't even hear her breath."""
text41908;"""New love should bring with it happiness, but so far the only thing I felt was a growing, acidic anxiety."""
text41909;"""What would tomorrow bring…?"""