text31649;"""I was dreaming that Himitsu and I were marooned on a deserted island.""" text31650;"""But not like the ones described in Dafoe's novels. You could say it was a five-star one: with a restaurant, a bar, a huge bed, bathrooms, and even a movie theater.""" text31651;"""Except, there were no other people but us: the food, as often happens in dreams, appeared by itself, the weather was perfect — there were no tropical rains or monsoons whatsoever.""" text31652;"""I was drinking wine and couldn't get drunk, it had an abnormally sweet taste you'd never find in real life. Sugary, savory, overwhelming and addictive like a drug.""" text31653;"""Heavy pink fog covered everything before my eyes, my movements were slow and smooth, as if I were doing gymnastics in water.""" text31654;"""I'd get instantly teleported from the bar to the rollercoasters, but even there it felt like I was swimming on them, like a woodchip on waves.""" text31655;"""And then I went up to the sky and flew…""" text31656;"""A skyscraper appeared on the other end of the island, I fluttered into an open window and found myself in Himitsu's arms.""" text31657;"""We were making love to each other, slowly and meticulously, as if we had done it many times.""" text31658;"""But then somebody was knocking loudly and persistently on the door, again and again.""" text31659;"""Irina stormed into the room and started shouting something in a language I didn't know.""" text31660;"""I turned to Himitsu, but she disappeared, and Catherine was lying in her place and giving me a devilish smile.""" text31661;"""I was terrified, overwhelmed by a primal fear, and as her eyes gleamed brighter and brighter I could see the fires of hell through them.""" text31662;"""Catherine's mother appeared in Irina's place.""" text31663;"""She was smiling the same exact way as her daughter.""" text31664;"""Then they vanished completely, but everything was filled with their eyes, flaming with the primal evil and anger of those banished from Heaven…""" text31665;"""In films, we often see the main character wake up in the middle of the night and abruptly sit up in bed, covered in cold sweat and gasping for air.""" text31666;"""Of course, stuff like this also happens in real life, but extremely rarely.""" text31667;"""I didn't know if I had had a nightmare, but despite the fact that I could still remember the horror I experienced in the dream, I woke up feeling pretty alright.""" text31668;"""It was six o'clock in the morning, which meant that I still had about an hour to finish watching my dream.""" text31669;"""Although the thoughts that started swarming in my head with an insane intensity kept me from it.""" text31670;"""My memories of yesterday became clearer by the moment.""" text31671;"""Today I had to meet Mrs Winters again — there was no reason to think that she would just give up.""" text31672;"""Ryunosuke-san couldn't help — regardless of whether he didn't want or wasn't able to.""" text31673;"""And then there was Irina, who also expected something from me.""" text31674;"""Now was definitely a good time to start panicking!""" text31675;"""I got up, walked into the garden wearing just my pants, shivering at the morning chill.""" text31676;"""Drops of dew gleamed on the grass, looking as if a cut-glass carpet lay at my feet, so fragile that the first step onto it would shatter the whole thing to pieces.""" text31677;"""I stepped down from the porch and felt a pleasant chill under my feet.""" text31678;"""The sun was starting its workday behind the roofs in the east, shining almost reluctantly as if doing a heavy duty.""" text31679;"""The year must've tired it out too.""" text31680;"""I washed myself, brushed my teeth, walked into the kitchen, and froze in front of the fridge.""" text31681;"""Was Himitsu going to cook something in the morning, perhaps? Then it would make sense to wait for her.""" text31682;"""On the other hand, it was such a stupid thought!""" text31683;"""I sighed and put the kettle on the stove.""" text31684;"""If Catherine's mother came again, I'd give her those documents, screw them!""" text31685;"""Maybe that wasn't what she wanted, but I had nothing else!""" text31686;"""Maybe she'd see that I was willing to cooperate and leave me alone…""" text31687;"""When I brewed the tea, the front door opened quietly and Himitsu appeared in the kitchen.""" text31688;"""Niko-kun, you're already up?""" text31689;"""It was indeed weird.""" text31690;"""Good morning.""" text31691;"""That's good. Unexpected though.""" text31692;"""She looked at the two cups that were standing on the table in front of me, then at the stove.""" text31693;"""Well, let's have breakfast.""" text31694;"""Her voice sounded unsure — was she really that surprised?""" text31695;"""Himitsu was cooking something, while I was still sitting motionlessly, drinking tea and thinking about the imminence of death. Strange thing to think about for an eighteen year old school kid.""" text31696;"""But it's stupid to ignore what you know is coming.""" text31697;"""I just really didn't want to drag Himitsu into this!""" text31698;"""For the last few weeks, my desire to protect her from literally everything was fighting with a, somewhat unhealthy, need to be fully honest with her.""" text31699;"""Niko-kun, you're not yourself this morning.""" text31700;"""I just had a very weird dream. A postmodern one, in a sense.""" text31701;"""About what?""" text31702;"""I don't really remember… You know when you've forgotten a dream but still feel the aftertaste of it?""" text31703;"""Hm…""" text31704;"""She didn't believe it.""" text31705;"""In order to avoid continuing this conversation, I turned the TV on.""" text31706;"""Another young politician was standing for election, another corrupt official had been caught, another big car accident with dozens of victims.""" text31707;"""As if somewhere inside the TV set, right behind the kinescope, there was a production line making and broadcasting the same stories.""" text31708;"""I wondered if these people really existed, if they would still have died had I not turned on the TV today at seven o'clock in the morning.""" text31709;"""Maybe it was just an \""Instant Use Set for Real Life\"" from Kobayashi Corporation, one item, 9999 yen with a 30% discount?""" text31710;"""An everyday, ready-to-use set of events — just add water!""" text31711;"""The necessary volume of well-balanced informational noise that contained the required amount of vitamins and trace elements?""" text31712;"""A plate of omurice landed on the table in front of me with a loud bang.""" text31713;"""I can't believe I'm saying this, but you should have slept more.""" text31714;"""Himitsu looked displeased.""" text31715;"""Maybe.""" text31716;"""And, by the way, Niko-kun, thanks for buying plates.""" text31717;"""No problem…""" text31718;"""Why would she need to thank me for that?""" text31719;"""Breaking dishes really helps.""" text31720;"""Break as many as you want.""" text31721;"""I felt a bit embarrassed and even uncomfortable being alone with her.""" text31722;"""Well, within reason! I'm not doing very well financially right now.""" text31723;"""What's wrong with your finances?""" text31724;"""Himitsu was immediately alerted.""" text31725;"""Yeah, that was another thing I needed to discuss with Ryunosuke-san.""" text31726;"""My life had suddenly become much too focused on him, and he wasn't too eager to show initiative.""" text31727;"""But this definitely wasn't a matter worth hiding.""" text31728;"""Due to unknown causes, my bank account has been frozen.""" text31729;"""Niko-kun…""" text31730;"""Yeah, not the most pleasant situation ever.""" text31731;"""I'll talk to dad!""" text31732;"""She said with determination.""" text31733;"""I'm sure he can help you.""" text31734;"""Sure. Thank you.""" text31735;"""I wished he'd help me stay alive first.""" text31736;"""A dead man needs no possessions.""" text31737;"""Only then did I notice that Himitsu had drawn a heart on my omelette with ketchup.""" text31738;"""Anyway, to other matters…""" text31739;"""I took the bottle, slowly came to Himitsu, and carefully drew something that more resembled a triangle on her plate.""" text31740;"""Sorry, I draw about as well as I cook.""" text31741;"""She just wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her without saying a word.""" text31742;"""We were kissing for so long the food got cold.""" text31743;"""Of course I wanted to go further, but Himitsu pushed me away lightly and said quietly:""" text31744;"""We'll be late for school.""" text31745;"""…""" text31746;"""It was much warmer outside. As if September was giving us its farewell smile.""" text31747;"""We met Saya-chan at the gates.""" text31748;"""Together again?""" text31749;"""She smirked in place of a greeting.""" text31750;"""We're always together!""" text31751;"""Sure, sure…""" text31752;"""She cast a glance at me.""" text31753;"""You might not be that much of a jerk after all, senpai.""" text31754;"""Saya-chan!""" text31755;"""I'll take that as a compliment.""" text31756;"""Think what you will, but I need to steal Himitsu from you.""" text31757;"""She grabbed Himitsu by the arm and dragged her along.""" text31758;"""I wanted to kiss her goodbye – I didn't care that we were in the middle of the school yard, surrounded by a crowd of acquaintances and strangers.""" text31759;"""But Saya-chan was faster than that.""" text31760;"""See you.""" text31761;"""That was the only thing I managed to say, and Himitsu waved her hand and smiled, putting all her love into it.""" text31762;"""The day started well!""" text31763;"""So, I loved Himitsu.""" text31764;"""Everything else aside, I had to somehow live with that…""" text31765;"""In reality, it's not enough to just confess your love and know that it's mutual.""" text31766;"""A lot of work lay ahead… Work something always stood in the way of!""" text31767;"""Catherine appeared in the classroom right before the bell and walked to her desk without looking at anyone.""" text31768;"""I didn't turn around, but I could feel her staring at my back.""" text31769;"""To be frank, I didn't expect Katya to come to school after what had happened.""" text31770;"""I had every reason to blame her!""" text31771;"""Yesterday, Catherine saw me and Himitsu together and clearly indicated that she wasn't happy about it — the same evening I found her mother in my kitchen!""" text31772;"""The causal link in this sequence of events was a little too obvious!""" text31773;"""I barely held myself back until the break, and approached her desk right after the bell rang.""" text31774;"""We need to talk. Now!""" text31775;"""I said quietly, but in a tone that clearly indicated that I wouldn't take no for an answer.""" text31776;"""We walked into the corridor.""" text31777;"""During first recess students are usually only just starting to wake up, so they don't run down the corridors like herds of horses.""" text31778;"""Anyway, we could be sure that no one would eavesdrop on us, even by accident.""" text31779;"""I don't know what kind of story you made up, but you really shouldn't have dragged your mother into this!""" text31780;"""I have no idea what you're talking about.""" text31781;"""She replied with a bored expression.""" text31782;"""Stop it, this isn't a game anymore! You know, I thought better of you.""" text31783;"""So did I of you.""" text31784;"""Whatever I… Whatever happened between us, this is going too far! Nobody shoots a cannon at sparrows!""" text31785;"""Or do you really want to drive me into an early grave?""" text31786;"""I frowned and stared at her.""" text31787;"""Catherine didn't last long.""" text31788;"""You have the nerve to accuse me of anything?""" text31789;"""Her face twitched. Catherine wrapped her arms around herself and looked out the window.""" text31790;"""You think you're the one having a hard time?""" text31791;"""Do you know how long I'd been blaming myself?""" text31792;"""Do you have any idea how hard it was for me?""" text31793;"""Her voice was getting louder and louder.""" text31794;"""And you…""" text31795;"""You just dumped me for her!""" text31796;"""Catherine was shouting.""" text31797;"""What…""" text31798;"""I dumped Catherine for… Himitsu?""" text31799;"""What kind of nonsense was that?!""" text31800;"""Stop pretending! How can you even dare to accuse me of something!?""" text31801;"""Do you want to know what I told my mother?""" text31802;"""Nothing!""" text31803;"""Her performance, of course, didn't go unnoticed, but Catherine clearly didn't care.""" text31804;"""Even though I should've! After everything you two have done to me!""" text31805;"""Wait, calm down!""" text31806;"""But she didn't seem to hear me, continuing her outburst even in front of the curious students who had gathered around us.""" text31807;"""It felt like Catherine wasn't really talking to me, just venting everything she had pent up inside her.""" text31808;"""And to think I was really trying find some justification for your behavior!""" text31809;"""Ha! I'm such an idiot! I so deserved it!""" text31810;"""Catherine was crying and swinging her arms, her long hair was sticking to her face, now wet with tears — she had lost any resemblance to a well mannered lady.""" text31811;"""I had never seen her like this.""" text31812;"""Like a volcano finally erupting.""" text31813;"""It had been holding back for thousands of years, accumulating fiery fury inside of it.""" text31814;"""And now it was exploding, covering everything for kilometers around in its scorching lava and ash.""" text31815;"""I don't know what I did to upset you this much, but…""" text31816;"""You don't know?!""" text31817;"""She grinned sadly and, with effort, threw her hands up in the air, apparently tired of her own hysteria.""" text31818;"""\""Birds of a feather flock together\"" – that's you two!""" text31819;"""Can you just explain properly what, in your opinion, I did wrong?""" text31820;"""If you really don't know, that's even ironic in a sense.""" text31821;"""Because it means that she succeeded in everything she'd planned.""" text31822;"""What are you even talking about?!""" text31823;"""I lost myself and snapped into a shout as well…""" text31824;"""You're so pathetic…""" text31825;"""Catherine hissed.""" text31826;"""The Japanese say a person has three faces — so then had I never even seen her second?""" text31827;"""I'm tired of this guessing game!""" text31828;"""Fuck you!""" text31829;"""Catherine said hatefully through clenched teeth and returned to the classroom, just to leave it again after a few seconds – with her bag.""" text31830;"""Her farewell look was filled with enough hatred to genuinely terrify me.""" text31831;"""And I was left as the sole point of interest.""" text31832;"""What are you all staring at? Show's over, go away!""" text31833;"""I said sadly and dragged my feet back to the classroom.""" text31834;"""After that scene, my upcoming conversation with Mrs Winters was probably literally life threatening!""" text31835;"""If Catherine's words had been enough for her to come to my place and start threatening me, I didn't even want to imagine what she would do now, after her daughter had this kind of an outburst…""" text31836;"""And most importantly — Katya sincerely believed that I was guilty of something.""" text31837;"""Something that couldn't be forgiven.""" text31838;"""And the last straw for her was what Himitsu did yesterday at the school gate – grabbed at me, showing that I was hers, and Catherine had to keep her hands off!""" text31839;"""Was it jealousy?""" text31840;"""Everything could be easily explained by banal jealousy. But not in Catherine's case.""" text31841;"""There was something else, something she believed сompletely, without even a shade of doubt.""" text31842;"""Maybe if I had given her more of my attention…""" text31843;"""But now I was with Himitsu, so it was pointless to even think about that.""" text31844;"""…""" text31845;"""My mood was ruined. When I had thought it couldn't get worse — Ryunosuke-san, Mrs Winters, Irina…""" text31846;"""And now Catherine too!""" text31847;"""I'd have to tell Himitsu about our talk – she would find out about it sooner or later anyway. In this school, rumors spread fast.""" text31848;"""Should never think things can't get worse…""" text31849;"""What do you mean?""" text31850;"""I didn't have a bento today — we were sitting in the canteen and eating oversalted udon.""" text31851;"""I mean, sometimes it seems that this is it, you've reached the bottom… And when it does, someone will knock from below.""" text31852;"""What do you mean, knock from below? How can they if it's the bottom?""" text31853;"""Ohh…""" text31854;"""It seemed I'd picked up the habit of sighing all the time from someone, with and without reason.""" text31855;"""Although unfortunately I had more than enough reasons, recently.""" text31856;"""So! We never talked… Are you and Himitsu-chan together now? I mean, officially?""" text31857;"""Why do you want to know?""" text31858;"""Well, I'm your friend – and friends don't hide these things from each other!""" text31859;"""I wondered if anybody had ever told him that the way he smiles sometimes makes people want to stand up and leave…""" text31860;"""But what difference did it make now?""" text31861;"""It couldn't be worse… After all, Kyosuke couldn't change my situation in any way, and he had helped me a lot before.""" text31862;"""Well, you could say we are.""" text31863;"""And…""" text31864;"""He starting whispering conspiratorially and leaned closer, putting his belly on the table.""" text31865;"""You've already done the thing, right? You know…""" text31866;"""Enough!""" text31867;"""I stopped him short and stood up; my bowl of cold udon was almost full.""" text31868;"""My classmates kept throwing wary glances at me all the way until the end of the school day.""" text31869;"""The Japanese have this special look — like, we don't mean anything bad and won't say it to your face, but we've heard that you're an antisocial person, and we're non-verbally letting you know just that.""" text31870;"""And I wouldn't even care much — but when the majority of the class behaves this way, it starts to feel outright nasty.""" text31871;"""It was like torture by collective silent condemnation.""" text31872;"""I wasn't really well-integrated into any Japanese social structures, but I had lived by this society's norms and rules for a decade.""" text31873;"""However, now I had Himitsu — and these trifles meant much less to me!""" text31874;"""Class was over. I walked down the stairs, changed my shoes, and began to wait.""" text31875;"""Niko-kun!""" text31876;"""Himitsu fluttered out of the school like a dove from its cage, giving me a special smile I had never seen before.""" text31877;"""You're shining like a penny.""" text31878;"""Just enjoying the good weather. And happy that class is over. And that we're going home together.""" text31879;"""Yeah, I barely sat until the end. I'm really hungry.""" text31880;"""Haven't you had lunch?""" text31881;"""I have… Well, tried to. But the cooks get a big fat F from me today!""" text31882;"""Niko-kun…""" text31883;"""Himitsu's eyes went round.""" text31884;"""Sorry for not making you bento today!""" text31885;"""The only thing missing was a ground-deep bow…""" text31886;"""I smirked in good nature.""" text31887;"""Come on, it's alright.""" text31888;"""I'll definitely make you one tomorrow!""" text31889;"""Sure.""" text31890;"""All the way home Himitsu talked about the school festival that was just around the corner.""" text31891;"""As for me, the closer we came to my place, the more nervous I became.""" text31892;"""Ryunosuke-san was supposed to talk to me after school.""" text31893;"""Which meant – right now. But not while Himitsu was around!""" text31894;"""I decided to drop by my house first.""" text31895;"""Alright, so…""" text31896;"""We stopped at my gate.""" text31897;"""Are you going to tell me you're busy again?""" text31898;"""She squinted slyly.""" text31899;"""And you aren't?""" text31900;"""Well…""" text31901;"""She thought for a moment.""" text31902;"""Nothing urgent. Besides, I need to make some food for you first!""" text31903;"""She got me! And I'd cornered myself, too…""" text31904;"""Yeah, but… Let's meet in half an hour. My stomach isn't feeling well after that udon.""" text31905;"""I smiled apologetically.""" text31906;"""Boo! Fine!""" text31907;"""She smiled merrily and ran to her house.""" text31908;"""It seemed like I had dodged a bullet.""" text31909;"""I slowly walked into the yard, stepped onto the porch, grabbed the doorknob… and immediately realized something was wrong.""" text31910;"""It happens: if you live in the same house your entire life, any small difference, sometimes even some sort of unconscious premonition can be enough to realize that something is wrong!""" text31911;"""There was someone inside!""" text31912;"""Mrs Winters? It was too early for her.""" text31913;"""Irina…?""" text31914;"""If so, her visit meant nothing good.""" text31915;"""Suddenly I was pulled away, like a doll on invisible thread.""" text31916;"""I couldn't go in under any circumstance, even on fear of death.""" text31917;"""I returned to the street and stopped, hesitating.""" text31918;"""The only sensible course of action was to go to Ryunosuke-san… But Himitsu was there.""" text31919;"""Did I really have a choice though?""" text31920;"""Even if she got to know the whole truth, would it make things worse for anyone? Worse than now?""" text31921;"""Ding-dong.""" text31922;"""The bell at Ito's house sounded like it came right out of a Disney cartoon.""" text31923;"""Like the door was about to be answered by Snow White and the seven dwarves.""" text31924;"""And even though the Snow White part wasn't that hard to believe, she also lived together with the evil king.""" text31925;"""Niko-kun…?""" text31926;"""Contrary to expectations, Himitsu opened the door.""" text31927;"""Did something happen?""" text31928;"""She seemed to have guessed.""" text31929;"""No. Yes… I need to talk to your father.""" text31930;"""About what?""" text31931;"""Can you call him?""" text31932;"""Himitsu frowned.""" text31933;"""Niko-kun, something's wrong, it's written on your face.""" text31934;"""…""" text31935;"""Nikolai.""" text31936;"""Ryunosuke-san appeared in the hallway.""" text31937;"""It's okay, we're just going to talk. Go.""" text31938;"""He told his daughter.""" text31939;"""But dad…""" text31940;"""Go.""" text31941;"""He said in a firmer tone.""" text31942;"""Himitsu's expression darkened and she left, giving me an angry look.""" text31943;"""Her father and I walked into the yard.""" text31944;"""He waited a minute to ensure that nobody was eavesdropping on us.""" text31945;"""You look scared.""" text31946;"""Yes, and I have a reason! I think… I'm sure there's someone in my house! Maybe Catherine's mother… Maybe the KGB… Who the hell knows!""" text31947;"""Did you see them?""" text31948;"""No, but it's clear anyway.""" text31949;"""Oh, Nikolai, Nikolai… It's always something with you!""" text31950;"""With me? Is it my fault? If it was up to me… You promised to help me!""" text31951;"""I didn't promise anything. And I'm tired of beating around the bush. When you give me your parents' documents, you will get protection.""" text31952;"""What?""" text31953;"""I understood each of his words separately, but my brain was resolutely refusing to put them together.""" text31954;"""Ryunosuke-san, I don't understand…""" text31955;"""As you can see, everybody needs those documents, and without them we can't break this stalemate.""" text31956;"""But I don't have them! God damn it, how many times do I have to say it!""" text31957;"""Nikolai, you shouting won't help the situation.""" text31958;"""I was such an idiot!""" text31959;"""Finally, everything became crystal clear.""" text31960;"""So this was your plan from the very beginning? To use Himitsu one way or the other?!""" text31961;"""Did you think I would just give Himitsu to you? Ha! With you is where she's in the most danger!""" text31962;"""You're a monster!""" text31963;"""Documents, Nikolai. I never believed you don't have them.""" text31964;"""Torture me if you will…""" text31965;"""Except that now I really had them!""" text31966;"""You're the devil incarnate…""" text31967;"""Himitsu can't stay with you in the same house a second longer…""" text31968;"""I was muttering and staggered to the door.""" text31969;"""Where do you think you're going?""" text31970;"""He tried to grab me by the arm, but in the same moment the whole world seemed to slow down, adrenaline hit my brain, I easily dodged him and jumped onto the porch.""" text31971;"""Himitsu!""" text31972;"""She was in the kitchen, cooking dinner.""" text31973;"""Niko-kun…?""" text31974;"""Her big green eyes were looking at me in surprise, she was holding a knife in the air, the water in the pot was boiling, and oil was sizzling in the frying pan.""" text31975;"""The sound of Ito's steps from behind made me come to my senses.""" text31976;"""We need to go! Hurry!""" text31977;"""You little shit!""" text31978;"""Ryunosuke-san stormed into the house next to me and grabbed me by the collar.""" text31979;"""Get out of here!""" text31980;"""Dad!""" text31981;"""Himitsu shouted and ran to us.""" text31982;"""I flew at him and caught him on the cheekbone.""" text31983;"""Ryunosuke-san threw me through the door as hard as he could, and I slid along the corridor, painfully smashing my back on a corner.""" text31984;"""Dad, stop!""" text31985;"""Himitsu, go to your room!""" text31986;"""Dad!""" text31987;"""This bastard will never set foot in my house again!""" text31988;"""Niko-kun.""" text31989;"""She tried to come closer to me, but her father grabbed her firmly by the arm.""" text31990;"""You know what you need to do. Now get out! Get out of here!""" text31991;"""Ito howled in a voice not his own.""" text31992;"""I shifted my eyes to Himitsu.""" text31993;"""She was trying to break free, but somehow sluggishly, as if carried by inertia.""" text31994;"""What was I supposed to do?""" text31995;"""Get into a fight with an enemy who was probably stronger than me?""" text31996;"""Turn tail and run?""" text31997;"""With difficulty I stood up on my feet, sharp pain hitting me in the lower back.""" text31998;"""Bring the documents and we will continue this conversation.""" text31999;"""He said in a calmer tone.""" text32000;"""It was unbelievable how a single person could combine such a strong dislike of me with an absolute loyalty to his job.""" text32001;"""Niko-kun…""" text32002;"""Himitsu prattled powerlessly, completely ceasing to resist.""" text32003;"""I'll come back for you, I promise.""" text32004;"""I said with anguish, cast a last glance at her, and walked outside.""" text32005;"""Everything was against me here.""" text32006;"""I couldn't take her with me by force, and could do nothing to oppose Ito.""" text32007;"""Which meant I had to retreat.""" text32008;"""At least for a time — to heal my wounds, restore my strength, and come up with a plan.""" text32009;"""But Himitsu's crying face seemed to have been burned onto the inside of my eyelids, and every time I closed my eyes, it haunted me.""" text32010;"""Beaten, humiliated, and desperate, I was barely forcing myself to drag my feet.""" text32011;"""My back felt like it was pierced by thousands of little needles every time I moved.""" text32012;"""I leaned against a light a couple hundred meters from my house.""" text32013;"""Fucking Japs!""" text32014;"""I hissed in Russian.""" text32015;"""An old lady looked at me with distrust.""" text32016;"""It was the same look my classmates had given me after I fought with Catherine at school.""" text32017;"""What was holding me here, in this country?""" text32018;"""Even the KGB — it was more of mine, of my homeland.""" text32019;"""Surprisingly, having lived in Japan for ten years, I felt no more Japanese than when I had come here as a little child.""" text32020;"""I got used to the country — yes, but the animal that is a human being can get used to anything.""" text32021;"""However, \""getting used to\"" and \""accepting\"" something are not one and the same!""" text32022;"""I managed to massage my back a bit, and started thinking about what to do next.""" text32023;"""I definitely couldn't go home — someone was there.""" text32024;"""And if it was Mrs Winters, I didn't have the things she was looking for.""" text32025;"""So I had only one destination left — Kyosuke's place again.""" text32026;"""I had read somewhere that real friendship does not come easily – it requires continuous effort.""" text32027;"""That would mean I was really lucky to have him.""" text32028;"""Hello.""" text32029;"""I called Kyosuke from the nearest telephone box.""" text32030;"""Hi, it's me. I need a place to stay for the night.""" text32031;"""He didn't reply right away, clearly thinking about something.""" text32032;"""Okay.""" text32033;"""Thanks, I'll be there in half an hour.""" text32034;"""…""" text32035;"""Precisely thirty minutes later I was lying spread out like a starfish in the middle of his room.""" text32036;"""Do you have an ointment for bruises?""" text32037;"""What happened to you?""" text32038;"""Hit my back.""" text32039;"""You hit it — or did someone else?""" text32040;"""What's the difference? Won't hurt any less either way.""" text32041;"""I'll look for something.""" text32042;"""He walked out of the room and I started to contemplate his truly tremendous collection of manga.""" text32043;"""Some of the names looked familiar, while others meant nothing to me.""" text32044;"""Kyosuke met me without much enthusiasm, I'd even say coldly.""" text32045;"""Apparently he was tired of me constantly omitting and concealing things. If kept at it, next time I'd probably have to sleep on the street…""" text32046;"""I covered my back with a double layer of ointment, and soon felt much better.""" text32047;"""Often it's enough to just feel better – and then you're happy.""" text32048;"""It happens after hangover as well as after disease.""" text32049;"""Oof, that was a nightmare…""" text32050;"""Nick, are you going to tell me what's happening with you?""" text32051;"""He sat behind the table and gave me a demanding look.""" text32052;"""The situation is getting worse.""" text32053;"""I began carefully.""" text32054;"""Himitsu's father and Catherine's mother are involved.""" text32055;"""Himitsu-chan…? What kind of nonsense is that?""" text32056;"""I wish it was! He works for Japanese intelligence and had been spying on my parents. And now — on me.""" text32057;"""A nice inheritance…""" text32058;"""I smirked.""" text32059;"""And Catherine's mother needs some documents from me that I don't have.""" text32060;"""He didn't need to know about the papers Ichinose had handed over to me.""" text32061;"""So, that's it… Everyone is demanding something from me, and nobody cares what I want.""" text32062;"""What are you going to do?""" text32063;"""Well, first…""" text32064;"""I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, as if trying to ventilate my head.""" text32065;"""I need to get Himitsu out of that house.""" text32066;"""Are you sure that's the right decision?""" text32067;"""Kyosuke looked unusually serious.""" text32068;"""I'm not saying she's better off in there, but she'll at least be safer!""" text32069;"""Safer with the person who used his own daughter as bait?""" text32070;"""He lowered his eyes and didn't reply.""" text32071;"""Maybe there was some truth to his words, but I'd already gone too far to stop and retreat.""" text32072;"""Most likely, it was beyond my power at the moment to provide Himitsu with the life she deserved.""" text32073;"""But would it really be better for her to remain at the mercy of a person like Ito?""" text32074;"""Occasionally I considered myself a sociopath, but then what did that make him?""" text32075;"""Neglecting some social rules, I, at least, honored family ties and put love above abstract national interests.""" text32076;"""He's already proven that no one can feel safe around him!""" text32077;"""Nick, even if it works out, have you even thought about what comes next? Where are you going to live? And how?""" text32078;"""I prefer to handle problems as they come.""" text32079;"""A flicker of annoyance crossed Kyosuke's face, but he didn't say anything.""" text32080;"""Look, I'm grateful! I really am! For everything! And not only for this, but for all the years of our friendship…""" text32081;"""I'm not really good at giving speeches. You know what I mean.""" text32082;"""My voice indeed sounded unnatural.""" text32083;"""And?""" text32084;"""What?""" text32085;"""After this speech you're definitely going to ask me for something.""" text32086;"""I let all the air out of my lungs.""" text32087;"""Yeah, I could use money. As much as you can give. I will… give it back… one day.""" text32088;"""Damn, we live in an age of advanced capitalism and yet can't buy the most important things. Happiness, love, health, even freedom.""" text32089;"""Maybe it's a matter of price?""" text32090;"""How much would you give for Himitsu-chan's life?""" text32091;"""He asked without a hint of irony and squinted.""" text32092;"""You don't have that much.""" text32093;"""Right you are.""" text32094;"""Kyosuke replied good-naturedly, stood up, grunting, removed a few volumes of manga from the upper shelf, and took out a small plastic bag from the stash.""" text32095;"""That's all I have.""" text32096;"""He handed it to me.""" text32097;"""I slowly counted the money – around a hundred thousand yen.""" text32098;"""Not that bad for the first while — it would even be enough to rent a six tatami room somewhere far from Tokyo.""" text32099;"""I owe you for life!""" text32100;"""Come on now…""" text32101;"""He got embarrassed.""" text32102;"""We may not see each other again…""" text32103;"""My friend even sobbed, but I continued right away so as to not catch his sentimentality.""" text32104;"""I must take Himitsu away from there!""" text32105;"""Kyosuke didn't reply for a while, but eventually smiled and said:""" text32106;"""Just when my mom was excited we were planning a brainstorm for our studies.""" text32107;"""Brainstorm, got it?""" text32108;"""He leaned on the table and gave me one of those terrible grins of his, clearly expecting I'd appreciate his resourcefulness.""" text32109;"""A brainstorm! Got it…""" text32110;"""…""" text32111;"""I couldn't remember the last time I had waited for night to come with such anticipation.""" text32112;"""In order to pass time, I actually did homework with him, and again noticed how bad my friend was at his studies.""" text32113;"""\""He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow\""…""" text32114;"""Alright, I gotta go.""" text32115;"""Good luck!""" text32116;"""I'll need it!""" text32117;"""…""" text32118;"""Neighbors used to tell us that merely ten or twenty years ago nobody would lock the doors of their houses in our district.""" text32119;"""They were most likely making it up, but the fences that separated the plots of land served a decorative purpose if any, and the gates were indeed often left open.""" text32120;"""Well, this wasn't the most criminogenic of Tokyo's districts!""" text32121;"""I watched Himitsu's house from behind the corner for a while, but noticed no movement.""" text32122;"""Maybe the KGB and the Corporation were keeping my house under surveillance, but why would they be spying on Ito?""" text32123;"""I turned up the collar of the jacket that I had providently borrowed from Kyosuke and started to slowly walk towards the house.""" text32124;"""A cap with an emblem of a baseball team and a jacket that was clearly too big for me – could I have chosen a more idiotic outfit?""" text32125;"""However, this disproportional image of a city doofus was exactly the thing that was making me feel somewhat confident.""" text32126;"""Keeping my head low, I quickly darted to Himitsu's yard, walked around the house, and hid in the garden.""" text32127;"""When we were little, she used to get out of her room by climbing down the drain pipe and jumping off of the shed.""" text32128;"""I grabbed a pebble from the ground and threw it at the window.""" text32129;"""It made a dull thud – just enough for Himitsu to hear.""" text32130;"""After some time, she looked out the window.""" text32131;"""I waved my hands, but Himitsu just turned her head back and forth and closed the curtains.""" text32132;"""So I had to throw a larger rock…""" text32133;"""Himitsu…!""" text32134;"""If only it was possible to shout in a whisper…""" text32135;"""Finally, she noticed me.""" text32136;"""Niko…""" text32137;"""I put my finger to my lips and hissed:""" text32138;"""Shhh! Shhh!""" text32139;"""Himitsu understood and went quiet.""" text32140;"""I waved my hand, indicating that she should get down.""" text32141;"""She hesitated for a bit, but then arduously climbed out the window and wrapped her arms around the pipe as if it were a lifeline.""" text32142;"""I instantly felt that something was off, and I was right: Himitsu tried to climb down the pipe, but immediately fell off…""" text32143;"""I prudently came closer and caught her in my arms.""" text32144;"""I wouldn't say it was easy, but Himitsu probably weighed no more than fifty kilograms, so I managed to hold her without falling to the grass.""" text32145;"""Sorry…""" text32146;"""She said silently when she came to her senses.""" text32147;"""It used to be easier.""" text32148;"""I'd think so.""" text32149;"""I put Himitsu to the ground.""" text32150;"""Your dad?""" text32151;"""He fell asleep in front of the TV.""" text32152;"""Are you sure?""" text32153;"""I am!""" text32154;"""She pouted.""" text32155;"""Alright, we need to go!""" text32156;"""Where?""" text32157;"""Somewhere far away from here.""" text32158;"""Niko-kun, I can't…""" text32159;"""Himitsu lowered her eyes apologetically.""" text32160;"""What now?!""" text32161;"""Where would we go? It's silly and childish!""" text32162;"""So you think that staying here is very smart? Have you already forgotten what he did this afternoon?""" text32163;"""I understand and I'm not condoning it, but… We should find another solution. Maybe we could talk…""" text32164;"""Talk?!""" text32165;"""I almost shouted.""" text32166;"""I tried! That's why I came to you today! Because…""" text32167;"""Ah, screw it!""" text32168;"""Because Catherine's mother had been waiting for me at home, and she threatened me!""" text32169;"""Her again…?""" text32170;"""Himitsu frowned.""" text32171;"""It's not about Catherine, it's about her mother! She, as you know, is supposed to be an American diplomat, but in reality…""" text32172;"""I don't know who she really is! In any case, she wants documents that I don't have.""" text32173;"""And it doesn't even matter what she needs! What matters is that I was in real danger and I came to your father, because I had no one else to turn to… And you know what happened next!""" text32174;"""And after all that you're suggesting I talk to him again?""" text32175;"""She wasn't replying, just methodically picking at the earth with the tip of her shoe.""" text32176;"""Come on, Himitsu, this isn't a joke!""" text32177;"""Who knows what'll get into his head next…?""" text32178;"""Niko-kun, he's still my father… You don't think that…""" text32179;"""I don't know what to think!""" text32180;"""Fine.""" text32181;"""She raised her tearful eyes to me.""" text32182;"""I'll talk to him. And if it doesn't work out…""" text32183;"""But…""" text32184;"""Don't worry, everything will be alright.""" text32185;"""She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me.""" text32186;"""My intense desire to prove that I was right evaporated at once.""" text32187;"""Tomorrow. I'll drop by.""" text32188;"""I'm staying at Kyosuke's place – it's too dangerous at home.""" text32189;"""Then I'll call him.""" text32190;"""I looked at Himitsu closely but just couldn't figure out what to do.""" text32191;"""But she looked unexpectedly confident, and her big, green, unblinking eyes seemed to be looking right into my soul.""" text32192;"""Do you know his phone number?""" text32193;"""I finally gave up and sighed.""" text32194;"""Of course!""" text32195;"""Well then…""" text32196;"""I wanted to say \""be careful\"", but decided that it wouldn't sound appropriate in this situation.""" text32197;"""After all, she was home.""" text32198;"""…""" text32199;"""I returned to Kyosuke's place after midnight.""" text32200;"""His mom looked sleepy and not too happy when opening the door, but seemed to believe that I'd just forgotten an important notebook at home.""" text32201;"""Kyosuke wasn't really surprised by my return, but didn't comment on it, only saying a standard \""I told you\"".""" text32202;"""The hard futon, the snoring right above my ear, and my own thoughts didn't let me fall asleep for a long while."""