text31020;"""Soon the date on the calendar would change and October would follow September."""
text31021;"""My life, meanwhile, had <i>already</i> changed."""
text31022;"""Yesterday I couldn't fall asleep, running through what had happened over and over again in my head."""
text31023;"""Later in the night, my dark thoughts returned, whispering to me about how the KGB and the Corporation don't give a damn about our love, and how Ryunosuke-san isn't omnipotent."""
text31024;"""But the day started as usual, and that's exactly what I expected."""
text31025;"""The garden door creaking, the chill morning breeze blowing lightly, a slight touch of lips, and a cute whisper over my ear."""
text31026;"""Wake up, sleepyhead!"""
text31027;"""I opened my eyes and immediately grabbed Himitsu by the hands, pulling her in and making her fall on me."""
text31028;"""Niko-kun! We'll be late for school!"""
text31029;"""I was exploring her body greedily with my hands, like a newborn explores everything new."""
text31030;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31031;"""As much as I wanted to continue, I realized it would be best not to hurry."""
text31032;"""We were just beginning to get to know each other in our new roles."""
text31033;"""Breakfast turned out to be rather normal: eggs, toasts, and some bacon."""
text31034;"""Himitsu had also made a bento."""
text31035;"""She had woken up at least an hour earlier than me again… <w>Today I was really grateful for that."""
text31036;"""Thank you!"""
text31037;"""But you haven't even eaten yet…"""
text31038;"""Just thank you for existing."""
text31039;"""At first she didn't seem to understand, but then smiled.<w> In some special, new way."""
text31040;"""I'm not going anywhere!"""
text31041;"""Has Ryunosuke-san said anything?"""
text31042;"""No, why?"""
text31043;"""Just curious…"""
text31044;"""Most likely, one day I'd have to tell her that her father had had somewhat different plans for me just the previous day."""
text31045;"""Niko-kun, everything's going to be alright!"""
text31046;"""She repeated the words like a mantra."""
text31047;"""So long as you believe it. That's what's most important."""
text31048;"""Don't you?"""
text31049;"""I believe you!"""
text31050;"""Niko-kun…"""
text31051;"""Her eyes lit up, and I suddenly imagined that we were characters in some sort of high school soap opera."""
text31052;"""A guy confesses his love to a girl, having overcome all barriers set up by the script and destroyed every paper-thin obstacle."""
text31053;"""Camera, action!<w> The roof of a school and a close-up of the main characters kissing against the sunset."""
text31054;"""Credits roll."""
text31055;"""We're never shown what happens to them next."""
text31056;"""Perhaps the next morning the girl will get off on the wrong foot or hit her period, and the guy will snap at her…"""
text31057;"""What percentage of school romances survive the stage of infatuation…?"""
text31058;"""Niko-kun?"""
text31059;"""I really didn't know what to do next."""
text31060;"""With Catherine, it had been different.<w> Easier, I guess."""
text31061;"""It's always easier to erect a new building than to try and fix an old one."""
text31062;"""Even more so to rebuild it completely into something else."""
text31063;"""Aren't you afraid that… well… this won't work out for us?"""
text31064;"""This what?"""
text31065;"""Himitsu was batting her big green eyes."""
text31066;"""Was she not even allowing herself to think about that?"""
text31067;"""Nevermind."""
text31068;"""Hey!"""
text31069;"""Stop heying!"""
text31070;"""I tore off a piece of bread and threw it at her."""
text31071;"""It's a sin to throw food!"""
text31072;"""Sin? Really?"""
text31073;"""I laughed and imagined Himitsu in a shawl, holding a candle in her hands."""
text31074;"""Her face wasn't that Asian, if I really looked at it…"""
text31075;"""Children are starving in Africa!"""
text31076;"""How's that our fault?"""
text31077;"""It's not our fault but… but…"""
text31078;"""It's just not nice to do that!"""
text31079;"""Fine!"""
text31080;"""I quickly made an airplane out of a napkin, but it didn't even make it a meter before crashing into the table."""
text31081;"""See? The plane carrying humanitarian aid crashed in the Mongolian steppe…"""
text31082;"""Niko-kun, you're incorrigible!"""
text31083;"""Do you want me to be corrigible?"""
text31084;"""Himitsu took her time to reply, and the surprise <seq hi_normal2>on her face changed to thoughtfulness, <seq hi_shy>then embarrassment."""
text31085;"""No."""
text31086;"""Why?"""
text31087;"""Because then I would need to love some other Niko-kun, and I already love you."""
text31088;"""What an interesting syllogism."""
text31089;"""Syllo… what?"""
text31090;"""…gism! Gizmo — like in The Gremlins, remember? Would you like to have a real one?"""
text31091;"""No."""
text31092;"""Himitsu replied, frowning as if she was offended by something."""
text31093;"""But he's so cute… Little, fluffy, clever!"""
text31094;"""And makes monsters if he gets wet!"""
text31095;"""But it's not his fault!"""
text31096;"""Cats are also little and fluffy. And safe."""
text31097;"""I wondered what Catherine would have said."""
text31098;"""Why did I even remember her here…?"""
text31099;"""I think she would've just smirked."""
text31100;"""Well, alright, cats are also an option."""
text31101;"""I agreed."""
text31102;"""It felt like we hadn't gone to school together for eternity."""
text31103;"""Himitsu was waltzing and smiling at the weak September sunlight."""
text31104;"""It seemed that for her, she'd hit her goal in life and there was nothing left to pursue anymore — only enjoy…"""
text31105;"""If only I had her carelessness!"""
text31106;"""Looking at her, I was also filled with a new — for me — feeling of serenity."""
text31107;"""A completely unfamiliar feeling of simple happiness, which only needs you to be with the person you love…"""
text31108;"""Love…<w> I obviously needed to get to know it all over again!"""
text31109;"""If you walk into class like that, you won't even have to tell Saya-chan anything — it's written all over your face."""
text31110;"""Will you tell Kyosuke-san?"""
text31111;"""Well… I haven't really thought about that."""
text31112;"""I grew embarrassed."""
text31113;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31114;"""She stopped and looked me in the eyes."""
text31115;"""I mean, there's nothing to hide here, but just shouting it from the rooftops… Besides, we're talking about Kyosuke! He'll find everything out before anybody else all on his own!"""
text31116;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31117;"""She quickly laughed."""
text31118;"""I'm just joking!"""
text31119;"""You and your jokes…"""
text31120;"""As we were approaching the school gate, we saw Catherine walking in our direction."""
text31121;"""Himitsu immediately took me by the arm and pulled me closer as hard as she could."""
text31122;"""Seeing that, Catherine gave an exaggerated huff, turned her nose up, and quickened her pace."""
text31123;"""…"""
text31124;"""I didn't know what to say, didn't want to say anything, and, luckily, somebody shouted from the school yard:"""
text31125;"""Here they are!"""
text31126;"""I told you…"""
text31127;"""I looked at Himitsu and smiled apologetically."""
text31128;"""Well, I should go, see you later…"""
text31129;"""Himitsu said quickly and ran away."""
text31130;"""Nick, I want to know everything in detail!"""
text31131;"""Kyosuke exclaimed, running up to me."""
text31132;"""Is Himitsu-chan…?"""
text31133;"""There isn't much to tell…"""
text31134;"""I carefully put my arm around his shoulders and dragged him to the lockers."""
text31135;"""…especially that loudly!"""
text31136;"""Well, you two don't seem to be trying to hide anything."""
text31137;"""He giggled disgustingly."""
text31138;"""Had this really been the first time Himitsu held me by the arm at school?<w> No, couldn't be!"""
text31139;"""What makes you think that…."""
text31140;"""Come on, you've already admitted it!"""
text31141;"""Also, what about that… the situation, you know?"""
text31142;"""What situation?"""
text31143;"""The one we discussed on Friday."""
text31144;"""I did borrow money from Kyosuke – and he might've saved my life by lending it to me."""
text31145;"""The thought made me feel guilty."""
text31146;"""Oof, well, it's a bit of a long story. Not the best place to tell it either. Let's talk about this later."""
text31147;"""My friend nodded in understanding."""
text31148;"""I sighed heavily, just like Ryunosuke-san the other day, and went to change my shoes."""
text31149;"""Classes started somehow too routinely for me."""
text31150;"""Of course, I wasn't too happy to be at school, but I also couldn't say I felt weird here."""
text31151;"""Besides, Kyosuke wasn't trying to talk to me during class."""
text31152;"""No one could stop him during recess though…"""
text31153;"""During lunch, I took out my bento."""
text31154;"""I opened it and saw…<w> Carefully packed rice with pieces of boiled carrot in the shape of a heart."""
text31155;"""I slammed the box shut."""
text31156;"""Do you have a minute?"""
text31157;"""Michael approached me, his face as emotionless as ever."""
text31158;"""Take a seat, let's eat together."""
text31159;"""I meant a minute in private."""
text31160;"""Alright."""
text31161;"""I wasn't enthusiastic about the prospect of showing my bento to the entire class anyway, especially to Kyosuke."""
text31162;"""…"""
text31163;"""We walked to the yard."""
text31164;"""Distracted by hearts and stuff, I didn't take any time to think about what he wanted to talk about."""
text31165;"""Although it was pretty obvious."""
text31166;"""I saw you two in the morning."""
text31167;"""Spying on me, are you?"""
text31168;"""I said without showing much interest and sat on the bench."""
text31169;"""I assume you've already made your choice?"""
text31170;"""Apparently so."""
text31171;"""Frankly, I didn't want to go through all this again."""
text31172;"""And you didn't even think to tell me about it, did you?"""
text31173;"""No, why would I?"""
text31174;"""I've already told you that I need your answer about Catherine—"""
text31175;"""I get it, I get it!"""
text31176;"""I interrupted him."""
text31177;"""Here's my answer, happy now?"""
text31178;"""I looked him straight in the eye."""
text31179;"""Michael didn't grow even a tad embarrassed."""
text31180;"""I think you should've considered her feelings, too."""
text31181;"""That concern is yours now."""
text31182;"""Nick…"""
text31183;"""I'm tired of all this talk! Is there something you aren't satisfied with? Nobody's in your way now — what else do you need to be happy?"""
text31184;"""Do you require some special permission from me? A blessing, maybe? A written agreement?"""
text31185;"""I got mad again, but, to be fair, Michael was behaving sort of strangely, too — obviously, some things in life are self-explanatory."""
text31186;"""So? Anything to say?"""
text31187;"""He was standing there and giving me a piercing look."""
text31188;"""If somebody else had been in his place, I would've said the look contained more resentment than anything else."""
text31189;"""A low-flying group of storm clouds were approaching from the seaside."""
text31190;"""It was about to catch up to the sun, which seemed to be running away from it to the west, absorb it, and fly on, hiding everything on its way in darkness."""
text31191;"""Suddenly, it seemed to me that there was nothing on the other side of this wall of clouds — just absolute emptiness."""
text31192;"""The annihilation of being itself and the actual end of the world are usually considered pure evil, but how can <i>nothingness</i> have any intentions that could fit into the framework of human morality…"""
text31193;"""You seem to be standing your ground."""
text31194;"""Oh, Misha, Misha…"""
text31195;"""I muttered in Russian."""
text31196;"""Be happy together and best of luck to you both!"""
text31197;"""I grabbed his hand, shook it firmly, and returned to the school."""
text31198;"""I still had to handle the issue of my bento."""
text31199;"""I didn't have to search for Himitsu for long — she was in her classroom, talking to friends."""
text31200;"""I called her over with a nod."""
text31201;"""She immediately stood up, quickly said something to them and almost ran to me."""
text31202;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31203;"""Yeah, hi… Have you had lunch yet?"""
text31204;"""No."""
text31205;"""Then let's go to…<w> Michael was in the yard."""
text31206;"""So the only place left would be…"""
text31207;"""Anyway, let's just go."""
text31208;"""We walked to the roof, but turned out not to be alone there either."""
text31209;"""Kagome was standing before us, leaning on the rails, and observing the approaching stormfront."""
text31210;"""She heard the creak of the door, jumped, and turned around."""
text31211;"""For a moment, I saw surprise and some sort of childlike innocence on her face."""
text31212;"""I stared unwittingly at her, as you might stare at the first spring flowers pushing through the snow."""
text31213;"""But for Himitsu that single moment was enough — I instantly felt a supernova about to be born right next to me."""
text31214;"""Meanwhile, Kagome сame back to reality and quickly headed for us."""
text31215;"""Wait."""
text31216;"""What now?"""
text31217;"""I just want to tell you that we're fine now."""
text31218;"""Happy for you."""
text31219;"""She said, as if trying to wave away a nasty gnat."""
text31220;"""What about you? Found your father?"""
text31221;"""Kagome gave me a piercing look for a few seconds before replying:"""
text31222;"""Yes, I have. Without your help."""
text31223;"""Well, sorry, I had my own problems."""
text31224;"""Problems…"""
text31225;"""She smirked and looked at Himitsu."""
text31226;"""If I were you, I wouldn't be sure that everything will end so easily!"""
text31227;"""It wasn't clear whether Kagome was addressing me or Himitsu."""
text31228;"""What? What're you talking about? If…"""
text31229;"""Doesn't matter."""
text31230;"""She grumbled and squeezed past me to the door."""
text31231;"""I felt there was more to say, and it bothered me."""
text31232;"""I wanted to stop her,<seq hi_headno> but Himitsu grabbed me by the hand and shook her head."""
text31233;"""What…? But…"""
text31234;"""Let her go."""
text31235;"""If you think that she and I… I just wanted… In case she knows something…"""
text31236;"""Niko-kun, calm down. She doesn't know anything, she just wanted to irritate you."""
text31237;"""Himitsu looked unusually serious."""
text31238;"""You just don't know her! Kag… Iwamura usually doesn't waste words!"""
text31239;"""Oh, don't you know her a little too well?!"""
text31240;"""Me!? I don't…"""
text31241;"""Niko-kun, relax, I'm joking! Let's eat."""
text31242;"""By the way, about that…"""
text31243;"""We sat on the bench and I opened my bento."""
text31244;"""Did you want to turn me into a laughing stock?"""
text31245;"""What do you mean?"""
text31246;"""Don't you understand?"""
text31247;"""I pointed my finger at the shape made of carrots."""
text31248;"""You never did that before."""
text31249;"""Well, now I do."""
text31250;"""Should've warned me…"""
text31251;"""I grumbled and picked up my chopsticks."""
text31252;"""There was indeed nothing unusual about the bento, and nobody but Kyosuke would probably pay any attention to it."""
text31253;"""But Kagome's words refused to leave my head."""
text31254;"""Of course, Himitsu might've been right, but Iwamura had found her father too quickly and easily."""
text31255;"""And I really wanted to hear her story in detail."""
text31256;"""So, what did Saya-chan say?"""
text31257;"""About my return? Well, she was surprised. And the other girls too. They were going to visit me over the weekend."""
text31258;"""Yeah, just gotta be careful not to get lost in the forest…"""
text31259;"""In the forest?"""
text31260;"""It's nothing. There's this magical forest next to your place."""
text31261;"""Is this another joke?"""
text31262;"""Sort of…"""
text31263;"""I hope you don't have any plans after school?"""
text31264;"""Of course not, why would I?"""
text31265;"""Then…"""
text31266;"""She stumbled, blushed, and lowered her eyes."""
text31267;"""If you want to visit a women's clothing store, just say it — there's nothing to be shy about here!"""
text31268;"""No, I wanted… to go on a date."""
text31269;"""What?"""
text31270;"""I heard what she had said, but seemed not to understand it."""
text31271;"""Since we're dating <i>officially</i> now, I want you to take me on a real date!"""
text31272;"""She blurted out."""
text31273;"""Ah, I see… alright."""
text31274;"""I shrugged."""
text31275;"""What do people usually do on a <i>real</i> date?"""
text31276;"""I hadn't been on one for so long that I'd already forgotten."""
text31277;"""Hey! Show more enthusiasm!"""
text31278;"""Yes ma'am!"""
text31279;"""I saluted to her."""
text31280;"""That's better!"""
text31281;"""We finished our meals and returned to the classrooms."""
text31282;"""I spent the remaining time before the end of class thinking of what I could arrange for Himitsu."""
text31283;"""Sure I could use scenarios from when I had been dating Catherine, but that somehow seemed unfair."""
text31284;"""Cinema!<w> The thought suddenly occurred to me."""
text31285;"""Love seats."""
text31286;"""I hadn't ever seen or heard of someone actually kissing or doing anything more risqué in the last row of seats in a cinema…"""
text31287;"""Himitsu was embarrassed by even the slightest display of affection in public and doing something like that at a movie theater was out of the question."""
text31288;"""Then the only thing left was…"""
text31289;"""…"""
text31290;"""Wow!"""
text31291;"""Himitsu exclaimed and span around."""
text31292;"""We'd only just recently been to the amusement park, so her reaction was more an attempt to cheer me up and let me know I'd made the right choice."""
text31293;"""Just remember, a shell never falls in the same сrater twice!"""
text31294;"""What do you mean?"""
text31295;"""I mean that I can't win anything for you today! Even if you believe that elephant needs a girlfriend…"""
text31296;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31297;"""She laughed and took me by the hand."""
text31298;"""What if we're lucky?"""
text31299;"""Have you ever held a gun in your hands?"""
text31300;"""No, but there's a first time for everything. Anyway, my elephant seems to be doing just fine on his own!"""
text31301;"""We were passing by the ghost house."""
text31302;"""I couldn't believe that just two weeks ago Himitsu had ran out of it in tears."""
text31303;"""It was surprising that so much could happen in such a short period of time — more than during the year and a half before it."""
text31304;"""A person's life is like Morse code, a dash line. Except some have longer dashes than others."""
text31305;"""Do you want to go for a rollercoaster ride?"""
text31306;"""No way, I'd get dizzy."""
text31307;"""Maybe a merry-go-round then?"""
text31308;"""Himitsu gave it some thought."""
text31309;"""Aren't we too old for that?"""
text31310;"""It's kinda weird to hear that from you."""
text31311;"""Let's go on the ferris wheel instead!"""
text31312;"""Sure."""
text31313;"""We bought the tickets and sat in the cabin."""
text31314;"""Why do they even call it a <note=note109>\""devil's wheel\""</note>, I wondered."""
text31315;"""I never suffered from claustrophobia, but occasionally experienced a fear of heights."""
text31316;"""But not just any height — somehow, I was selective about it."""
text31317;"""I wasn't scared of falling into a chasm from atop a mountain, yet was afraid to stand on the balcony of a twenty-something floor."""
text31318;"""Maybe it was about the probability?"""
text31319;"""How many people a year die from falling from a cliff?"""
text31320;"""And how many just jump off a house roof?"""
text31321;"""<note=note110>L'appel du vide</note>, that irrational desire to jump down."""
text31322;"""Good that these cabins were fully enclosed."""
text31323;"""Well, now we are in the apogee."""
text31324;"""What?"""
text31325;"""Well, if we assume that the Earth isn't round…"""
text31326;"""I was talking absolute drivel and couldn't stop."""
text31327;"""Was I…<w> embarrassed to be alone with Himitsu?"""
text31328;"""After all, this wasn't that different from what we were usually doing."""
text31329;"""Sorry, it's simply…"""
text31330;"""It's \""simply\"" again!<w> Ryunosuke-san had been right about that."""
text31331;"""You were talking about a \""real\"" date, but I feel like I'm not handling it well."""
text31332;"""Why?"""
text31333;"""Well, how is it any different from what we usually do?"""
text31334;"""On a \""real\"" date people should do something… I don't know… more interesting."""
text31335;"""Himitsu smiled."""
text31336;"""Niko-kun, stop being silly. Any date with you is a real one, because I love you!"""
text31337;"""And even if we were watching the TV at home, that would've been a real date too."""
text31338;"""Come on now…"""
text31339;"""I grew visibly embarrassed."""
text31340;"""Himitsu breathed on the window and traced out in Russian with her finger: \""Niko-kun + Himitsu = love\""."""
text31341;"""Now it's definitely real!"""
text31342;"""I wanted to immediately leap to Himitsu and kiss her, but misjudged my strength and sent the cabin swinging."""
text31343;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31344;"""Sorry… I'll keep myself under control."""
text31345;"""Although I have to admit, it's becoming harder and harder."""
text31346;"""I added slyly."""
text31347;"""I want to do so much to you!"""
text31348;"""Niko-kun…"""
text31349;"""It was Himitsu's turn to get embarrassed."""
text31350;"""Like bring you to the cinema after this."""
text31351;"""To the cinema?"""
text31352;"""She livened up."""
text31353;"""Yes, to watch that film."""
text31354;"""Because of all the mayhem happening in my life, I hadn't really had time to watch it."""
text31355;"""Sounds interesting. But I need stop by home first."""
text31356;"""Let's go then, it's on the way."""
text31357;"""…"""
text31358;"""Half an hour later, having changed my clothes, I was standing on the street and waiting for Himitsu."""
text31359;"""Love was in the air, making me light-headed — I was getting more and more drunk on it and didn't want to stop."""
text31360;"""However, my common sense was telling me that I tended to jump to absolutes, while Himitsu didn't at all."""
text31361;"""She was accustomed to a steady pace of life, so hormonal surges and blind passion weren't really her thing."""
text31362;"""Suddenly, I felt a bit uncomfortable."""
text31363;"""As if I saw her as some sort of frigid nun…"""
text31364;"""Especially compared to…"""
text31365;"""Niko-kun!"""
text31366;"""How long can you…?"""
text31367;"""Do you notice anything?"""
text31368;"""I looked at her carefully."""
text31369;"""Did you cut your hair?"""
text31370;"""Hey! I'm serious!"""
text31371;"""I looked at her more attentively.<w> Nothing."""
text31372;"""Err, I don't know. Honestly."""
text31373;"""You're always like that! I try hard to prepare for a <i>real</i> date, and it's the same old!"""
text31374;"""Well, tell me what this is about, and next time I'll…"""
text31375;"""Nothing! Let's go!"""
text31376;"""…"""
text31377;"""All would have been well and good, but I'd totally forgotten Himitsu didn't like over the top action movies either, not just horror."""
text31378;"""And this was just that kind of film."""
text31379;"""A belligerent alien landed on our planet to hunt people."""
text31380;"""Himitsu grabbed my arm from the very first minute and didn't let go until the end."""
text31381;"""That predacious alien was slicing up everyone left and right without mercy or compassion."""
text31382;"""But, as often happens in American films, there was a brave, muscular main character who cut the beast to ribbons in the end."""
text31383;"""I wondered."""
text31384;"""Good had defeated evil again, and common sense for good measure, but that Predator was way too cunning: it systematically stalked humans, laying in ambush for a long time in order to strike its victims at the right moment with one precise move."""
text31385;"""Just like Catherine, Jesus!"""
text31386;"""She had it all planned!"""
text31387;"""Starting from virtually forcing me to call her, to pushing herself into <i>coming over</i>, to staying at my place overnight, to then opening the door for Himitsu…"""
text31388;"""But why, Katya, why?!"""
text31389;"""While Himitsu was shuddering at every sound effect, I was paying less and less attention to what was happening on the screen."""
text31390;"""Was it revenge?<w> Or, perhaps, a devious plan?<w> Her mother's orders?"""
text31391;"""Weirdly, I was more disappointed than mad with Catherine."""
text31392;"""That is probably how the parents of a naughty child feel when their son gets expelled from school for the fifth time."""
text31393;"""Oh Katya, Katya…"""
text31394;"""And just like those hypothetical parents, I simply gave up on her."""
text31395;"""I've already bidden you farewell!"""
text31396;"""The film ended, and we were standing near the cinema building."""
text31397;"""Himitsu was pale and seemingly frightened by something."""
text31398;"""Niko-kun…"""
text31399;"""What's up?"""
text31400;"""You didn't tell me it would be a horror film…"""
text31401;"""Well, it's not a horror film."""
text31402;"""Yeah? Ah, okay then."""
text31403;"""She said in a trembling voice."""
text31404;"""If you ever decide to bring me to a real <i>horror film</i>, let me know in advance, I'll write my will."""
text31405;"""…"""
text31406;"""The sun was setting when we approached home."""
text31407;"""Do you want to… come by?"""
text31408;"""Niko-kun… Dad would be angry."""
text31409;"""She responded playfully."""
text31410;"""Ah, yeah, yeah. Then…"""
text31411;"""We spent a long, too long time kissing."""
text31412;"""Forgetting about everything, including the fact that we could be seen from the windows of her house and were standing in the middle of the street, so the neighbours could be watching us."""
text31413;"""I got so excited that I didn't want to let her go, but Himitsu effortlessly freed herself from my embrace."""
text31414;"""See you tomorrow."""
text31415;"""She said in a new voice, one I was entirely unfamiliar with."""
text31416;"""I hurried to my place to attend to the call of nature."""
text31417;"""In different circumstances, I would've realized that something was wrong immediately."""
text31418;"""In your own home, you instantly notice any little difference, any discrepancy or change."""
text31419;"""That time it was the breeze, even though I had definitely closed the garden door."""
text31420;"""A woman was standing in the kitchen with her back turned to me, smoking, blowing clouds into the yard."""
text31421;"""Hearing my footsteps, she turned around."""
text31422;"""It was Catherine's mother…"""
text31423;"""Nikolai! I've been waiting for you!"""
text31424;"""Sorry for being overly familiar…"""
text31425;"""She dropped the cigarette right on the floor and quickly crushed it with her shoe."""
text31426;"""Take a seat."""
text31427;"""She closed the door and approached the table."""
text31428;"""Now that was very much like Ms Winters…"""
text31429;"""But what the hell was she doing here?!"""
text31430;"""I felt a threat coming from her, an ever greater one considering that she clearly wasn't here to perform her <i>diplomatic</i> duties."""
text31431;"""What do you need?"""
text31432;"""I asked coldly, trying not to show any anxiety, but sat down nonetheless."""
text31433;"""Are you surprised? Strange. And here I thought you would be expecting my visit. After everything my daughter has told me."""
text31434;"""I don't know what Catherine told you."""
text31435;"""Is that so? You haven't changed a bit over the years. But the time for games is over!"""
text31436;"""You better cooperate with us voluntarily — not only will it save me a lot if time, it will also help you avoid unnecessary problems."""
text31437;"""Who is \""us\"", exactly?"""
text31438;"""Mrs Winters rolled her eyes and pulled out another cigarette but, after a moment, put it back into the pack."""
text31439;"""We are aware that you gave your parents' documents to Japanese intelligence. They are also of interest to us!"""
text31440;"""And now you will tell me what the contents of them were, how far the Japanese have progressed, and so on."""
text31441;"""Whatever she was thinking, it was obvious that Catherine's mother believed that I knew more than I really did.<w> Much more!"""
text31442;"""But why, exactly…?"""
text31443;"""Mrs Winters… You've come to the wrong person."""
text31444;"""Nikolai!"""
text31445;"""She smirked."""
text31446;"""I doubt that the KGB and the Japanese bought it, so why do you think so little of me?"""
text31447;"""I don't know what Catherine told you, but you can be sure that I don't have any documents."""
text31448;"""Catherine.<w> Her again!"""
text31449;"""This is just because she's jealous."""
text31450;"""Jealousy, really? So you're naïve enough to think that after what you've done to my daughter, she would still be jealous of you?"""
text31451;"""Or, in other words, still have any feelings for you?"""
text31452;"""Is <i>that</i> what you think, Nikolai?"""
text31453;"""Mrs Winters' cold, intense look was piercing me to the bone."""
text31454;"""It was much scarier than Ryunosuke-san's well-honed calmness."""
text31455;"""You're not very polite for a diplomat…"""
text31456;"""The good thing about diplomacy is that it allows parties to find a compromise, to give up on certain points to preserve something more important."""
text31457;"""And now you have that opportunity, Nikolai."""
text31458;"""I was staring at her without looking away, although it might be more accurate to say that Mrs Winters was hypnotizing me like a cobra."""
text31459;"""She saw right through me, as if into my soul, and I couldn't find the strength to tell her a single persuasive lie."""
text31460;"""I will tell you what I've told everyone else: I know nothing about my parents' work. They left me no documents."""
text31461;"""Well, this was to be expected. Why do you hate Catherine so much?"""
text31462;"""Hate?"""
text31463;"""I exhaled wearily."""
text31464;"""And I, the idiot, thought it was the opposite!"""
text31465;"""Just so you know, Catherine has already tried to turn me against Himitsu. And now it looks like after she realized it didn't work, she's turned to extreme measures."""
text31466;"""Let's be serious! I won't tell you anything, because I don't know anything. And I won't give you anything, because I have nothing."""
text31467;"""So what are you going to do?"""
text31468;"""For some reason, you're convinced you're in no danger… Do you trust the Japanese to protect you?"""
text31469;"""I wondered who or what she meant — the Corporation or Ryunosuke-san."""
text31470;"""But asking her that would've been stupid — I kept pretending to be an oblivious high school kid."""
text31471;"""I trust in your common sense."""
text31472;"""You should've thought about that earlier when you…"""
text31473;"""She grit her teeth, and, for a moment, her face shifted to a grimace of anger."""
text31474;"""When I what…?"""
text31475;"""Nikolai, if you aren't worried about yourself, you should at least think about your girlfriend."""
text31476;"""Don't you dare…!"""
text31477;"""I exclaimed."""
text31478;"""She has nothing to do with it! If you need a scapegoat, I alone am enough!"""
text31479;"""Well isn't that a change of attitude…"""
text31480;"""Mrs Winters' smile was more terrifying than her threats."""
text31481;"""You probably think I'm a monster, but I'm just trying to find the best solution for everyone."""
text31482;"""And it's within your power to help find a way out of this situation!"""
text31483;"""You might not believe me, but I'm doing it for your sake as well!"""
text31484;"""No, no matter what Catherine had done in the past, she had never been such a hypocritical bitch!"""
text31485;"""I felt disgusted, almost to the point of vomiting, to be in the same room as this woman. Even the air itself started to feel stale, heavy, and foul-smelling."""
text31486;"""I turned away."""
text31487;"""Don't you feel disgusted to get up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror?"""
text31488;"""Why would I?"""
text31489;"""God, and to imagine there was a time I thought she was better than Himitsu's father…"""
text31490;"""I don't have any documents and I don't know anything!"""
text31491;"""Fine, Nikolai, it's your call."""
text31492;"""She stood up abruptly, pulled out a cigarette pack, and drew one."""
text31493;"""But I still want to give you one last chance. We will return to this conversation in twenty four hours — I really hope that's enough time for you to make the right decision."""
text31494;"""When the door closed after her, I wearily leaned on the table and exhaled so strongly that it seemed like I'd been holding my breath for several minutes."""
text31495;"""Yes, Catherine had most likely told her something!"""
text31496;"""But she couldn't know about Japanese intelligence or the fact that Irina demanded documents from me!"""
text31497;"""Did she just blatantly lie to her mother as a way of taking revenge on me?!"""
text31498;"""Or maybe Mrs Winters and the Americans have been watching me…?"""
text31499;"""Ichinose hadn't mentioned it, neither had Irina or even Ryunosuke-san!"""
text31500;"""My number of enemies grew by the second…"""
text31501;"""You'd assume that after this I would hate Catherine, but, strangely enough, that wasn't the case: nothing but an old, scarred wound was left on my heart in place of my former love for her."""
text31502;"""Maybe it wasn't her fault at all, but her mother's threats were more than real, and I needed to do something about them!"""
text31503;"""I looked out the window, but it was quiet and deserted outside."""
text31504;"""Nikolai, remember: you have to tell me everything…"""
text31505;"""Well, I had no one else to turn to anyway. <w>I quickly dialed Himitsu's number."""
text31506;"""Of course, she was still awake, so this was the only way."""
text31507;"""I got lucky — Ryunosuke-san answered the call."""
text31508;"""Hello."""
text31509;"""It's Nikolai. We need to talk."""
text31510;"""I'll be there in two minutes."""
text31511;"""He replied briefly and hung up."""
text31512;"""Those two minutes were painfully long."""
text31513;"""It was hard to admit that the person who had betrayed my trust had also become my only hope."""
text31514;"""Had I ever really trusted Ryunosuke-san?<w> I didn't know…"""
text31515;"""But at least I'd never expected any trickery from him, and definitely never thought he was spying on my parents!<w> And then, after they died — on me."""
text31516;"""A knock came at the door."""
text31517;"""It's interesting how every person knocks in their own way."""
text31518;"""Ryunosuke-san did it firmly, with clear intervals between knocks, strongly but not too much so.<w> Like a metronome."""
text31519;"""I opened the door and stepped aside, inviting him to come in."""
text31520;"""Himitsu?"""
text31521;"""He shook his head in a negative."""
text31522;"""Could I say that I was hiding the truth from her again if I was about to tell her father what had happened…?"""
text31523;"""Ryunosuke-san walked to the kitchen, stopped, and looked at me expectantly."""
text31524;"""Maybe you'd like some tea?"""
text31525;"""I mumbled stupidly and instantly felt awkward."""
text31526;"""What happened, Nikolai?"""
text31527;"""Catherine's mother, Mrs Winters, came to my place. She believes that I gave you… Japanese intelligence… some kind of documents related to my parents' work."""
text31528;"""And she's demanding these documents from me. And…"""
text31529;"""Ryunosuke-san didn't react to my words in any way — it was like he was listening to a weather forecast."""
text31530;"""She was threatening me! She said that I have twenty four hours to give her the documents or tell her what's in them."""
text31531;"""So what's in them?"""
text31532;"""Goddamn it!"""
text31533;"""I lost control."""
text31534;"""How many times do I need to repeat that I have no idea about these documents you <i>all</i> go on about!? I've never seen or heard of them!"""
text31535;"""Nikolai, calm down, anger won't help."""
text31536;"""I'm just tired…"""
text31537;"""I understand, but I still ask you to calm down."""
text31538;"""Ryunosuke-san, what do you know about Mrs Winters?"""
text31539;"""I knew that she had some kind of connection to the Project, but telling him that would mean incriminating Ichinose."""
text31540;"""I hoped he was still alive…"""
text31541;"""Himitsu's father took his time to reply."""
text31542;"""Not a single day has passed, and you've already gotten into trouble!"""
text31543;"""Not by choice!"""
text31544;"""You shouldn't blindly trust her."""
text31545;"""<i>Trust</i>?"""
text31546;"""I smirked powerlessly and sat on the chair."""
text31547;"""It's not a matter of trust!"""
text31548;"""It's like my entire life is turning upside down! It turns out I don't really know who's who!"""
text31549;"""Say, Mrs Winters — I thought she was an ordinary diplomat."""
text31550;"""Well, you weren't wrong."""
text31551;"""Finally, something resembling worry crossed his face."""
text31552;"""It just so happens that there are different kinds of diplomats. And they can use different means to achieve their goals."""
text31553;"""So you want to say that…"""
text31554;"""For now I only want to say that the Americans are also interested in your parents' work."""
text31555;"""So what should I do now? Doesn't look like next time she'll be satisfied with my explanations!"""
text31556;"""And, really, why didn't he leave Himitsu in the village…?"""
text31557;"""Yes, the situation isn't great…"""
text31558;"""Ryunosuke-san, to be honest, I was hoping for something more practical than \""not great\""."""
text31559;"""You see, Nikolai, when it comes to Americans…"""
text31560;"""He was picking his words carefully."""
text31561;"""My hands are tied."""
text31562;"""Apparently he decided that I deserved to know the truth."""
text31563;"""Or maybe that I <i>deserved</i> the truth…"""
text31564;"""So there's nothing you… Ryunosuke-san! She also mentioned Himitsu. Told me that I should worry about her as well!"""
text31565;"""They're just empty threats."""
text31566;"""You weren't so confident about her safety yesterday."""
text31567;"""Nikolai, I'll think about how to help you."""
text31568;"""He sighed and closed his eyes."""
text31569;"""But in any case, you shouldn't do anything on your own."""
text31570;"""If they wanted to harm you, they wouldn't have talked to you, especially in your house."""
text31571;"""Well, I couldn't argue with that."""
text31572;"""But what would stop them from continuing this conversation in a place they like better?"""
text31573;"""I don't want to lie to you, Nikolai…"""
text31574;"""Ryunosuke-san, just tell me honestly, can you help me?"""
text31575;"""I need to think. She said you have twenty four hours, so you don't have to worry about anything for at least that long."""
text31576;"""Easy for you to say!"""
text31577;"""We'll continue this conversation tomorrow, when you two come back from school. By then I should know how to help you."""
text31578;"""And if that's all…"""
text31579;"""I shrugged and saw him out the door."""
text31580;"""…"""
text31581;"""Dim stars appeared in the sky, very different from the ones in the village at night."""
text31582;"""These ones looked like specks of dust on a dark TV screen."""
text31583;"""Their light was similarly blurry and distorted, but fully compensated for by the illumination of the metropolis."""
text31584;"""Ryunosuke-san was leaving something out and wasn't even trying to hide it."""
text31585;"""Most likely he was trying to tell me that I was in real danger and couldn't expect any help from him."""
text31586;"""Life's a bitch…"""
text31587;"""A bottle of whiskey was standing on the table in front of me, and next to it stood a glass filled with two fingers of the amber liquid."""
text31588;"""It had been standing there for good half an hour now — I hadn't taken a single sip and, in the meanwhile, the clock was telling me that this night had come to its end."""
text31589;"""A midnight bird was singing a nasty tune outside, as if protesting against something."""
text31590;"""Perhaps Ryunosuke-san was even relieved by this situation somehow — he had an opportunity to take me out of the equation without getting his hands dirty."""
text31591;"""So I couldn't count on him, could I?"""
text31592;"""But Catherine's mother was also threatening Himitsu!"""
text31593;"""Of course, she could've been just trying to put pressure on me…"""
text31594;"""Maybe, Ryunosuke-san was right — after all, if they wanted, they could've just gotten everything they wanted out of me by force."""
text31595;"""The bird went quiet, and then I heard some weird noises coming from the garden, as if someone was trying to sneak through the bushes."""
text31596;"""I put myself on guard and started listening in."""
text31597;"""The rustling was becoming louder and soon turned into the sound of footsteps."""
text31598;"""I found a knife by feel and tightly squeezed its grip."""
text31599;"""I didn't even have time to think of what I'd do next."""
text31600;"""Nikolai…"""
text31601;"""Somebody was calling me quietly."""
text31602;"""I froze and held my breath."""
text31603;"""Suddenly Ichinose appeared in the doorway to the garden, nervous and breathless."""
text31604;"""Ichinose-san!"""
text31605;"""I exhaled with an effort."""
text31606;"""You almost gave me a heart attack!"""
text31607;"""He sat across from me and slowly wiped the sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief."""
text31608;"""I got a call, and I thought it was you, but a woman from the KGB came instead. I thought…"""
text31609;"""Yes, Nikolai, they got to me. Thank God, I managed to leave virtually a minute before they showed up."""
text31610;"""I need to flee from Tokyo now. But before that I've decided to come and give…"""
text31611;"""He took a thick folder tied with cord out of his bag."""
text31612;"""…you this."""
text31613;"""What is this?"""
text31614;"""Documents I managed to take from work. Documents about the Project."""
text31615;"""It's unlikely Japanese intelligence would be interested in them, unlike the KGB."""
text31616;"""Wait… So these are the documents they've been hunting?!"""
text31617;"""Today Mrs Winters came to me and demanded some documents as well, God damn them!"""
text31618;"""Is… is this it?"""
text31619;"""Ichinose was staring at the whiskey, and I pushed the glass to him without prompting."""
text31620;"""The old man took a sip and smiled."""
text31621;"""You father knew his whiskey."""
text31622;"""Ichinose-san!"""
text31623;"""Ah, right, sorry. I don't know what the Russians are looking for exactly, not to mention the Americans!"""
text31624;"""They're also part of the Project, and logically should know everything that Kobayashi Corporation does."""
text31625;"""This is only my own work — I was in contact with American physicists while working on the Project, so…"""
text31626;"""Of course, I still needed to deal with Irina somehow, but Catherine's mother had promised to return as early as tomorrow!"""
text31627;"""Then what do the Americans want from me?"""
text31628;"""I don't know, Nikolai."""
text31629;"""He responded slowly, even with a hint of irritation in his voice."""
text31630;"""And you also can't tell me anything else about Mrs Winters?"""
text31631;"""No. The only reason I'm here right now is because I still feel indebted to your father. But I know nothing about her."""
text31632;"""Sorry…"""
text31633;"""He was telling the truth – I was sure about that."""
text31634;"""There's nothing to apologize for. By the way, thanks for the whiskey."""
text31635;"""Ichinose-san came closer to me and firmly shook my hand."""
text31636;"""Farewell."""
text31637;"""And then he disappeared into the night."""
text31638;"""I was listening to the night's silence long after that, with the beating of my heart the only sound to break it."""
text31639;"""So, the documents."""
text31640;"""I was flipping through them, peering into the endless rows of numbers and formulas, but understood absolutely nothing."""
text31641;"""There were graphs showing speed, preliminary orbits, and trajectories."""
text31642;"""The only thing I could figure out was that they were going to launch something somewhere."""
text31643;"""But I'd get about the same results trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."""
text31644;"""My eyes were closing on their own, and each time it was getting more and more difficult to open them again."""
text31645;"""Finally I hid the folder under the porch – in my childhood I would bury Himitsu's dolls there and nobody ever found them."""
text31646;"""It was a safe place."""
text31647;"""And tomorrow, I could decide what to do next."""
text31648;"""My bed beckoned me, I felt as if I was floating on tender, milky waves and falling deeper and deeper into the soft fluff of dreams."""