text27585;"""The whistle of a kettle boiling in the kitchen woke me up.""" text27586;"""Then I heard Himitsu's voice as she hummed a song.""" text27587;"""That's how my mornings often began, and there was nothing unusual about this one!""" text27588;"""Besides, Himitsu had said she'd be back on Monday!""" text27589;"""Even after yesterday, I couldn't force myself to be afraid of her.""" text27590;"""I put on an old, terribly stretched out t-shirt, pulled on my street jeans, and walked into the kitchen.""" text27591;"""Niko-kun! Why'd you go to sleep in the afternoon?""" text27592;"""I glanced at the clock — it was nearly eight in the evening.""" text27593;"""Well, your afternoon is someone's morning… Why are you back so early? I was expecting you tomorrow.""" text27594;"""Were you waiting for me?""" text27595;"""She perked up, then realized it looked strange.""" text27596;"""Dad had some urgent business in Tokyo.""" text27597;"""Dad, huh? Urgent business?""" text27598;"""I slowly sat behind the table and looked out into the garden.""" text27599;"""I really did need to put it in order!""" text27600;"""On the other hand, winter was coming soon – all the unwanted plants were going to die anyway. Same as the good ones, though…""" text27601;"""Why are you so gloomy?""" text27602;"""Not even sure. Got reasons.""" text27603;"""I avoided Himitsu's questioning look and started with the food.""" text27604;"""In the end, I found it hard to look her in the eye.""" text27605;"""Thinking about it, she'd basically been interrogating me the other day. \""Promise to tell me everything, Niko-kun!\""!""" text27606;"""I'd been looking for enemies everywhere I could, and all along my main enemy had been hiding right by my side.""" text27607;"""Despite that, I didn't want to believe that she was that good an actor.""" text27608;"""That's why you shouldn't sleep in the afternoon!""" text27609;"""I went to bed late. Or early, at that point…""" text27610;"""And now you're going to stay up the whole night.""" text27611;"""In reality, I didn't feel rested at all and was ready to sleep for another five or six hours.""" text27612;"""I won't! Or maybe I will…""" text27613;"""Of course, everybody lies. Especially Catherine.""" text27614;"""Why did I remember her at this moment?""" text27615;"""On the other hand, Katya never explicitly told untruths — she was, however, a master of lying by omission!""" text27616;"""And she was very good at justifying her behavior and making herself out to be right regardless of the circumstances.""" text27617;"""I wondered how Himitsu would behave in a similar situation.""" text27618;"""I went to your village yesterday.""" text27619;"""What?""" text27620;"""She stopped cutting her vegetables immediately, knife hanging in mid-air.""" text27621;"""It was at night, you were probably asleep by then.""" text27622;"""An idiotic smile froze on her face.""" text27623;"""Niko-kun, what are you saying?""" text27624;"""I wanted to surprise you. I realize it was inappropriate, but still.""" text27625;"""A very weird choice of words in the first place.""" text27626;"""Why inappropriate, instead of, say, stupid?""" text27627;"""A dirty joke can be inappropriate when told at an official event.""" text27628;"""My visit, meanwhile, was unexpected, but more than appropriate, even if improbable.""" text27629;"""Then why didn't you drop by?""" text27630;"""She looked genuinely surprised. Specifically surprised — not frightened.""" text27631;"""Which was a good thing, for sure.""" text27632;"""Because I accidentally eavesdropped on your father talking on the phone.""" text27633;"""I deliberately paused and looked her right in the eye, but Himitsu's inscrutable face kept an expression of genuine surprise.""" text27634;"""It was nice to learn that you guys have been long monitoring the Anokhin family, that you have been handling the mission well. He said a lot of interesting stuff in general.""" text27635;"""Niko-kun…""" text27636;"""Fortunately, she put the knife away.""" text27637;"""I'm just telling you what I heard. As for what's going on — you should be the one to explain that!""" text27638;"""Even if my father did something like that… I don't know…""" text27639;"""Finally, her lips trembled, and Himitsu turned away.""" text27640;"""She wasn't capable of lying, after all. At least, at critical moments.""" text27641;"""I don't want… I can't believe that you're involved somehow.""" text27642;"""My words sounded calm, as if we were discussing school and not the fact that her father had been spying on my family for years.""" text27643;"""Had been spying on my family…And was now spying on me!""" text27644;"""So if you tell me you have nothing to do with it… I'll believe you!""" text27645;"""But Himitsu remained silent.""" text27646;"""So it's all true?""" text27647;"""No!""" text27648;"""She shouted, threw herself to me and looked at me with pleading eyes.""" text27649;"""Niko-kun, I'm sorry!""" text27650;"""It was hard to look at her, hear her crying and remain composed, pretend that it didn't bother me in the slightest.""" text27651;"""So is it \""no\"" or \""sorry\""?""" text27652;"""I needed to know the truth.""" text27653;"""Himitsu kept crying with her head on my knees.""" text27654;"""No matter what, at that moment she was sincere.""" text27655;"""How long… how long have you known?""" text27656;"""Dad told me just a few days ago…""" text27657;"""She wiped her tears, stood up, moved a chair over and sat next to me.""" text27658;"""That in truth he works for Japanese intelligence.""" text27659;"""That he is monitoring you and used to monitor your parents.""" text27660;"""But all this…""" text27661;"""Himitsu was about to fall to tears again, so I had to grab her by the hand — only then did she manage to calm down a bit.""" text27662;"""But he's been doing all this to protect you!""" text27663;"""He told me that you're in danger, and no matter what, I shouldn't tell you anything!""" text27664;"""Because that would only make things worse for everyone…""" text27665;"""I just wanted to do what's best for us!""" text27666;"""At least she clearly believed what she was saying — I had no doubts about that!""" text27667;"""I wasn't going to betray you!""" text27668;"""Hiding the truth isn't the best way to not betray me.""" text27669;"""Niko-kun, forgive me!""" text27670;"""When did it all start?""" text27671;"""Two or three days ago, maybe…""" text27672;"""I'm asking about your father. Since when has he been spying on us? Since we came to Japan?""" text27673;"""I… I don't know, but…""" text27674;"""She paused.""" text27675;"""But what? That's not all of it?!""" text27676;"""I flung my arms up in the air and sighed heavily — Himitsu virtually shrunk into herself.""" text27677;"""Alright, don't torment me, say it!""" text27678;"""Well, he showed interest in our relationship before, too, and I…""" text27679;"""She forced herself to continue:""" text27680;"""And I… told him a lot. Nothing important though! Just some daily, minor stuff… He's my father, after all!""" text27681;"""But you have to understand — I didn't know anything, I wasn't doing it on purpose!""" text27682;"""Niko-kun…?""" text27683;"""I remained silent.""" text27684;"""I just didn't know what to say or how to react to her confession.""" text27685;"""Deep inside, I probably was ready to believe her, but is remorse always sufficient for redemption, for forgiveness?""" text27686;"""Is forgiveness that important, at all?""" text27687;"""I wasn't the one to judge Himitsu for her sins, but I had to live with her somehow…""" text27688;"""I knew one thing for sure — I couldn't push her away forever""" text27689;"""Niko-kun, say something…""" text27690;"""How much did you tell him?""" text27691;"""Everything I knew.""" text27692;"""But he's only trying to help and protect you… us!""" text27693;"""I'd like to believe that.""" text27694;"""I smirked sadly and stood up.""" text27695;"""My legs had become terribly numb for some reason, so I had to make a few rounds of the kitchen.""" text27696;"""I don't blame you for trusting him.""" text27697;"""Niko-kun…""" text27698;"""Himitsu kept going on, which started to irritate me — at the moment I needed something constructive, not her whining!""" text27699;"""I need to think.""" text27700;"""She looked at me with hope in her eyes but immediately realized that I was going to think alone.""" text27701;"""Alright, see you tomorrow then?""" text27702;"""Yeah…""" text27703;"""I replied absent-mindedly.""" text27704;"""…""" text27705;"""Even my relationship with Catherine was simpler in many respects!""" text27706;"""Because I could expect anything from her, but there were things I would never have suspected Himitsu of!""" text27707;"""It wasn't even about whether I could forgive her…""" text27708;"""What was important was whether I could be sure that she wouldn't pull another trick like this in the future.""" text27709;"""Besides, forgiveness and meekness are easy to get used to – and then eventually you lose your self-respect and what you thought was unacceptable before becomes quite permissible!""" text27710;"""God, if only it was someone else in her place!""" text27711;"""Someone I'd expect such twists from.""" text27712;"""Catherine… Yes, that would be likely!""" text27713;"""A phone call woke the house after it had just slipped into slumber.""" text27714;"""I jumped up, followed by a myriad of dust particles, as they danced in the dim light of the kitchen lamp.""" text27715;"""Hello.""" text27716;"""Hi, you're not asleep?""" text27717;"""It's too early for that.""" text27718;"""Speak of the devil!""" text27719;"""What do you want?""" text27720;"""Just a second ago I'd been thinking about her, but over the past two days I'd realized the Catherine in my mind and the one I was talking to now weren't the same person!""" text27721;"""Shall we meet?""" text27722;"""Why would we?""" text27723;"""Do you need a special reason?""" text27724;"""I guess I do.""" text27725;"""Well, let's say I miss you.""" text27726;"""This is a bad time for jokes, Katya!""" text27727;"""What if I'm not joking? How would you know?""" text27728;"""Okay, alright… Where?""" text27729;"""I don't care.""" text27730;"""Then…""" text27731;"""In the park""" text27732;"""…let's meet in the park.""" text27733;"""I just wanted to get some fresh air.""" text27734;"""In the bar.""" text27735;"""…let's meet at the bar. I'm starving.""" text27736;"""Or maybe I wanted a drink, not food — after all, I had just eaten breakfast.""" text27737;"""Okay, see you in an hour.""" text27738;"""She said, and, not waiting for my reply, hung up.""" text27739;"""Damn it, this is just wonderful…""" text27740;"""What if I were to tell her everything: about Himitsu, her father, Ichinose…?""" text27741;"""I really needed someone I could trust.""" text27742;"""Or I just wanted somebody to hear me out, someone to get this off my chest to.""" text27743;"""And since I wasn't sure if Himitsu could be that person…""" text27744;"""…""" text27745;"""On the other hand, it was clearly dangerous!""" text27746;"""I reached the meeting point in forty minutes, and to my surprise, Catherine had come early as well.""" text27747;"""We sat on a bench.""" text27748;"""We sat behind a table.""" text27749;"""You're early today.""" text27750;"""So are you.""" text27751;"""I don't want to disappoint you, but arriving early is normal.""" text27752;"""What did you want to talk about?""" text27753;"""I wanted to say that we should have a fresh start!""" text27754;"""What do you mean?""" text27755;"""I was startled and even moved away from her a bit.""" text27756;"""I was startled and even moved away from the table a bit.""" text27757;"""It may sound silly, but I've been thinking a lot, and I realized that you're right.""" text27758;"""After all, we still need to study together!""" text27759;"""I couldn't remember myself saying anything like that! At least, not wording it that way.""" text27760;"""So, you want to remain friends?""" text27761;"""Catherine smirked.""" text27762;"""I guess we've never really been friends — our relationship deepened right away.""" text27763;"""But we can do everything right this time.""" text27764;"""By saying \""right\"" you're implying it was \""wrong\"" before?""" text27765;"""I hope each of us can draw conclusions on that ourselves.""" text27766;"""In a sense, I happy to hear it from her. I guess.""" text27767;"""At least now I'd be able to think less about Catherine.""" text27768;"""Because I definitely had more urgent issues at hand.""" text27769;"""Even disregarding the gravity of each one of them, the situation with my parents' past and my and Himitsu's present was way more important than my feelings for Katya.""" text27770;"""Because there was a good chance that I would not have a future to sort those feelings out in.""" text27771;"""If it's fine by you…""" text27772;"""I wouldn't make the offer otherwise. Is it…fine by you though?""" text27773;"""I can live with it.""" text27774;"""Catherine gave me a piercing look, and for a second I could see a shadow of irritation cross her face.""" text27775;"""She probably wanted to figure out what I was thinking about.""" text27776;"""No wonder – I was just way too tired and couldn't be bothered with facial expressions.""" text27777;"""Well then…""" text27778;"""She said seriously.""" text27779;"""Should we shake hands too?""" text27780;"""Why not!""" text27781;"""Katya reached out, and I shook her hand without hesitation.""" text27782;"""Well, we have a deal then.""" text27783;"""By the way, how's Himitsu?""" text27784;"""Why?""" text27785;"""I put myself on guard right away.""" text27786;"""You've become too distrustful.""" text27787;"""Why do you think that?""" text27788;"""Because it's obvious.""" text27789;"""She threw her hands up.""" text27790;"""I have good reasons to be, don't you think?""" text27791;"""Yeah? What reasons?""" text27792;"""Well, I don't know!""" text27793;"""I replied sarcastically.""" text27794;"""Some notes, for one…""" text27795;"""We've already discussed that.""" text27796;"""Why do you all think that having a discussion changes anything? That words can fix actions?""" text27797;"""Who is we?""" text27798;"""Just all of you!""" text27799;"""In this case, going on like that will drive you mad. You might not believe it, but I'm worried about you too…""" text27800;"""…to some extent.""" text27801;"""Catherine specified immediately.""" text27802;"""So, my question about Himitsu is quite appropriate.""" text27803;"""She's okay. She's doing fine.""" text27804;"""I replied briefly.""" text27805;"""I wished that was the case!""" text27806;"""You can talk to her yourself. For example, tomorrow at school. Will you be there?""" text27807;"""I will.""" text27808;"""The conversation seemed to wither away on its own.""" text27809;"""We seemed to have signed a peace treaty but had no idea what to do now.""" text27810;"""I wanted and had an opportunity to take a break from my inner turmoil over her, but the whole conversation felt like some weird formality.""" text27811;"""Like a military dispatch about a ceasefire…""" text27812;"""By the time the news reached all the soldiers in the trenches, a dozen would have been torn apart by shrapnel.""" text27813;"""It was Katya's turn to break the silence:""" text27814;"""Alright then.""" text27815;"""How are you doing, by the way?""" text27816;"""Fine.""" text27817;"""She smiled, a bit unnaturally, as it seemed to me.""" text27818;"""That's what you expected to hear, right? I really don't have much to tell though. Well, I bought a calendar and have been crossing days off with a big red marker.""" text27819;"""Days left before the end of the school year?""" text27820;"""Exactly.""" text27821;"""Does it help?""" text27822;"""I don't know yet.""" text27823;"""Silence descended upon us again.""" text27824;"""Well, I have to go.""" text27825;"""Yeah, see you.""" text27826;"""I said as if I were saying goodbye to Kyosuke, not her.""" text27827;"""…""" text27828;"""It was nearing midnight.""" text27829;"""That conversation with Catherine had calmed me down a bit.""" text27830;"""Whatever Ms Winters had on her mind, I doubted she'd put her own daughter in harm's way. If only by letting her communicate with me.""" text27831;"""In that regard, the Americans were still ahead of the Japanese.""" text27832;"""Since when had my life become this ridiculous baseball match with me as the ball being tossed back and forth between opposing teams?""" text27833;"""The light was on in the windows and I immediately knew it was Himitsu — she was used to finishing what she started.""" text27834;"""And if I hadn't forgiven her earlier, I definitely had to forgive her now.""" text27835;"""That's what she thought.""" text27836;"""That's what mattered to her — threadbare forgiveness.""" text27837;"""I don't know if it's because of my upbringing or something else, but I always thought this behavior was like expecting praise from a shogun.""" text27838;"""Or, in our case, expecting clemency.""" text27839;"""To some extent, this situation wasn't that hopeless.""" text27840;"""The death penalty couldn't resurrect a killer's victims, but a relationship can be fixed, and trust can be regained.""" text27841;"""At least, in theory.""" text27842;"""I wasn't sure I was ready for that.""" text27843;"""Niko-kun, sorry I'm here, I know you wanted to be alone.""" text27844;"""On the other hand, while I was deciding how to live from here on, I could take her keys.""" text27845;"""Although I had nothing to hide at home, except for some dusty corners, an empty fridge, and an open bottle of whiskey in the сupboard.""" text27846;"""I would be more surprised if you weren't here.""" text27847;"""Hey!""" text27848;"""She was about to get annoyed but quickly caught herself.""" text27849;"""I told you you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.""" text27850;"""So you…""" text27851;"""\""won't ask me where I was?\""""" text27852;"""No, I shouldn't provoke her anymore!""" text27853;"""Whatever the case, I wasn't going to tell her that I'd met with Catherine, and if Himitsu didn't ask first, there was no need to bring it up.""" text27854;"""…didn't make dinner?""" text27855;"""It's not healthy to eat at night!""" text27856;"""It's not healthy if you're going to sleep, but you just said I won't be.""" text27857;"""But…""" text27858;"""It seemed her logic circuits had overloaded.""" text27859;"""Alright, relax, that was a joke.""" text27860;"""I took out a new pack of tea, opened it, and put a teapot on the stove.""" text27861;"""In fact, I'm glad you came.""" text27862;"""Really?""" text27863;"""She asked distrustfully.""" text27864;"""Now, when you've calmed down a bit, we can talk normally.""" text27865;"""You have calmed down, haven't you?""" text27866;"""I asked and looked at Himitsu.""" text27867;"""She was sitting, fidgeting with a napkin, and seemed to avoid looking at me.""" text27868;"""What do you want to talk about?""" text27869;"""About your father! Do I have a more important topic?""" text27870;"""But… Niko-kun, I don't know anything except what I've already told you.""" text27871;"""I wasn't going to spy on you!""" text27872;"""…""" text27873;"""You need to understand that I'm a victim here too!""" text27874;"""Her excuses were poor, and even — although it was hard to acknowledge even to myself — revolting.""" text27875;"""Of course, Himitsu wasn't a pathological liar, but now she was behaving like a little child who wouldn't admit her guilt even caught red-handed trying to take a box of cookies from the cupboard.""" text27876;"""Let's say I agree that you're not guilty — will you tell me what you know?""" text27877;"""But I'm really not…""" text27878;"""She sighed, apparently realising what I wanted from her.""" text27879;"""Think about it yourself, why would dad tell me anything else?""" text27880;"""I don't know.""" text27881;"""More than that, I couldn't understand how he could drag his own daughter into all this!""" text27882;"""Maybe it's more about you than your father. Why didn't you tell me everything right away?""" text27883;"""Because he… you will… we would all be worse off…""" text27884;"""My exhausted psyche couldn't withstand another crying fit.""" text27885;"""I quickly grabbed the mugs and put one of them in front of her.""" text27886;"""With chamomile, as you like.""" text27887;"""Thank you.""" text27888;"""Himitsu looked surprised.""" text27889;"""There was no real reason for that though — I always had a fine selection of teas.""" text27890;"""Mostly because of her, but I had also bought some myself.""" text27891;"""It's not like I did anything weird…""" text27892;"""No, it's just… Thank you!""" text27893;"""We were drinking tea slowly, and, probably were both happy to keep silent for a while and gather our thoughts.""" text27894;"""Naturally, I had to forgive her — otherwise we'd never get out of this deadlock.""" text27895;"""I was just concerned that it might give Himitsu a sense of impunity.""" text27896;"""After all, she had always been a good girl, obeyed her parents and teachers, respected her elders, was a role model for younger children, lived an almost exemplary life.""" text27897;"""And if it so happened that she was wrong about something, or God forbid found guilty of anything, it would always hit Himitsu hard.""" text27898;"""That was why my forgiveness was subconsciously so important to her.""" text27899;"""But to me, it was important that it didn't come too easily.""" text27900;"""Unlike Catherine.""" text27901;"""Catherine always paid too much attention to what they refer to in English as \""appearance\"".""" text27902;"""At the same time, she couldn't care less whether others perceived her as good or evil, right or wrong, virtuous or deeply vicious.""" text27903;"""Respect was all that mattered to her.""" text27904;"""And tyrants are respected as much as prophets.""" text27905;"""I assumed she didn't think about the reasons — be it worship, fear, or love.""" text27906;"""In a way, these two girls represented two philosophical opposites to me — idealism and materialism, altruism and egoism.""" text27907;"""Platonic love and friendship — and carnality, sexual desire, even lust.""" text27908;"""Earth… Earth to Niko-kun…""" text27909;"""Himitsu said timidly.""" text27910;"""The tea had time to grow a little colder.""" text27911;"""I can't forgive you…""" text27912;"""I went silent for a moment and continued right away in order to avoid a сheap theatrical pause:""" text27913;"""Because I wasn't upset with you in the first place.""" text27914;"""Really?""" text27915;"""She raised her huge green eyes at me, and I could see a spark of hope in them.""" text27916;"""Sure! Just put yourself in my shoes — how would you react? Of course I was surprised!""" text27917;"""But promise that there will be no secrets between us from now on!""" text27918;"""I promise!""" text27919;"""Himitsu said solemnly.""" text27920;"""Well, it's pretty late already… You can tell your father that nothing unusual happened at Anokhin's place today!""" text27921;"""I grinned good-naturedly.""" text27922;"""I definitely will!""" text27923;"""Himitsu responded but clearly didn't intend to leave.""" text27924;"""I'm not planning to sleep, but that doesn't mean you have to sit up with me.""" text27925;"""She hesitated, but in the end, stood up.""" text27926;"""Good night, see you tomorrow!""" text27927;"""Good night.""" text27928;"""I saw her to the door.""" text27929;"""…""" text27930;"""I hoped that Himitsu believed I had forgiven her.""" text27931;"""To me, however, this was just the beginning!""" text27932;"""Fortunately over the last couple of hours, I had managed to calm down and come up with a plan.""" text27933;"""Without unnecessary hesitation, I grabbed the receiver and dialled the number I had memorized.""" text27934;"""I didn't get a reply right away — after all, it was past midnight.""" text27935;"""Good evening. I'm sorry to bother you so late, but I need to know if Agawa-san is at home.""" text27936;"""A sleepy voice grumbled: \""You got the wrong number\"", — and I began to wait.""" text27937;"""The telephone bell pierced the silence of my house only half an hour later.""" text27938;"""Shino-san ordered a delivery to this address.""" text27939;"""Sorry, you got the wrong number""" text27940;"""Isn't this…""" text27941;"""He spelled my phone number with one digit off.""" text27942;"""No, it's…""" text27943;"""My sincere apologies! Have a good night.""" text27944;"""I didn't know if petty tricks like this would work on KGB agents or Japanese intelligence, but I soon realized Ichinose would be waiting for me at that same spot on the waterfront.""" text27945;"""And I already knew how to escape the house without attracting any attention.""" text27946;"""It was time to go to bed then!""" text27947;"""This time I felt calmer sneaking through the streets of my district.""" text27948;"""If Himitsu had done everything right, I had nothing to fear from Japanese intelligence.""" text27949;"""I hadn't noticed KGB agents following me even once, and I wasn't even sure if they truly were watching me. As for Kobayashi Corporation…""" text27950;"""Who could guarantee that the Corporation and Japanese secret service weren't pursuing the same goal?""" text27951;"""The last train had left long ago, but luckily taxis were available twenty-four hours a day — I just needed to dial an easily memorized number.""" text27952;"""The car came pretty fast, and less than an hour later I found myself on the waterfront.""" text27953;"""I could see the dim light of a cigarette in the darkness, and a familiar slumping silhouette appeared against the silver moonlight.""" text27954;"""Ichinose-san?""" text27955;"""I called fearfully, still afraid of having made a mistake.""" text27956;"""Were you expecting someone else?""" text27957;"""He came closer and smiled in an excessively friendly manner.""" text27958;"""You seem to be in a good mood, have you been waiting for long?""" text27959;"""Does it matter?""" text27960;"""I guess not…""" text27961;"""Did something happen, Nikolai? I hope you understand that getting in contact with me over some trifling matter is risky for you in the first place?""" text27962;"""If only it was a trifle!""" text27963;"""I sighed.""" text27964;"""So, what's it about?""" text27965;"""Ichinose-san, be honest with me, have you told me the whole truth?""" text27966;"""I simply don't know the whole truth.""" text27967;"""He replied and immediately lit another cigarette.""" text27968;"""But you aren't hiding anything, right?""" text27969;"""Perhaps at first I was worried — I definitely was! — but now anger took over.""" text27970;"""I was angry as much at this old man as I was the people forcing us to be out here now, hiding in the night like criminals!""" text27971;"""I was angry at the people who took my parents away from me, destroyed my daily life and turned me into a God damn schizophrenic.""" text27972;"""I really want to believe that's not the case!""" text27973;"""Tell me what's on your mind already!""" text27974;"""Because…""" text27975;"""My face flinched involuntarily, and tears welled up in my eyes.""" text27976;"""After all, going through this on my own and sharing my inner turmoil with another person were not one and the same.""" text27977;"""…it's hard for me to think that you knew about Japanese intelligence and hid it from me.""" text27978;"""Japanese intelligence?""" text27979;"""He didn't look particularly surprised, but took half a step to the side.""" text27980;"""My best friend's father… the girl I've spent my whole life with! Her father works for Japanese intelligence.""" text27981;"""More importantly, he's been spying on my family since we arrived in Japan!""" text27982;"""Nikolai, I had no idea…""" text27983;"""I really want to believe that you didn't!""" text27984;"""Of course, it's obvious that Japanese intelligence is well informed about the Project and has been monitoring people involved in it, but I had never thought… Nikolai, tell me more.""" text27985;"""There isn't much to tell. I happened to learn about it by accident.""" text27986;"""It's just hard to accept that a person who has been your neighbor all your life, a person who you trusted, turned out to be someone you should never trust under any circumstance.""" text27987;"""I smirked sadly.""" text27988;"""Was I really talking about Ryunosuke-san?""" text27989;"""Frankly speaking, we never were particularly close — rather, I was afraid of him.""" text27990;"""A strict neighbor and your girl-friend's father — is a great cover, as it turns out!""" text27991;"""What about a childhood friend? Was that a good cover?""" text27992;"""Nikolai, that is terrible, I realize, of course, but…""" text27993;"""Ichinose glanced around as if gathering his thoughts rather than checking for any hidden threats.""" text27994;"""How much does he know? This isn't just about you, after all.""" text27995;"""Well, he definitely hasn't gotten anything from me. Only because I don't know anything myself! At least I didn't a week ago.""" text27996;"""But you do now.""" text27997;"""What's so criminal about what I know?""" text27998;"""He looked at me closely, as if he were about to say something, but remained silent.""" text27999;"""Ichinose-san?""" text28000;"""Nikolai, such a… betrayal… is certainly terrible, but you do realize that they have been spying on more or less all the important people in the Project, right?""" text28001;"""And, most likely, for a long time now. The question is how closely they have been watching. To be frank, I had no idea your father was of so much interest to all these intelligence agencies.""" text28002;"""Why?""" text28003;"""Because we were just regular staff members…""" text28004;"""But he was Russian! How could a Russian be allowed to work on such a secret project in the first place?""" text28005;"""Not that I hadn't given that some thought before, but not from the point of view of Japan's national security.""" text28006;"""He must've had some knowledge that our local specialists didn't possess.""" text28007;"""Like what?""" text28008;"""Ichinose went silent for a while and seemed to be staring through me, trying to make something out in the gloom of the night.""" text28009;"""Like the Soviets' understanding of fourth generation intercontinental ballistic missiles.""" text28010;"""I didn't know how to respond to that.""" text28011;"""Nikolai, I am only telling you this, because…""" text28012;"""He sighed heavily.""" text28013;"""Well, I guess I can't make things any worse by now.""" text28014;"""Ichinose smiled sadly and continued:""" text28015;"""Besides, your father wasn't informed of every detail—""" text28016;"""Unlike Akira Shinji?""" text28017;"""I interrupted him.""" text28018;"""Unlike Akira Shinji…""" text28019;"""By the way, I happen to know his daughter.""" text28020;"""Little Kagome? I feel sorry for her…""" text28021;"""What an interesting coincidence it was that we happened to study at the same school!""" text28022;"""Well, I wouldn't call her little now.""" text28023;"""But you two are in similar situations!""" text28024;"""Except for the fact that her father might still be alive.""" text28025;"""Let's hope he is…""" text28026;"""A cold wind blew from the shore — dark, leaden clouds were approaching us from the east, bringing with them heavy rain and morning fog.""" text28027;"""It's already late, Nikolai.""" text28028;"""Ichinose looked at me somehow sympathetically.""" text28029;"""Late for what? From another point of view, it might be too early. And what does it even matter what time it is? What am I supposed to do now?""" text28030;"""I can't trust anyone anymore. It's not even so much about Kobayashi Corporation or your damn Project! It's about…""" text28031;"""I didn't finish the sentence because there wasn't much sense in it – Ichinose could only sympathize with me, and even then more for the sake of politeness, as he couldn't fully understand my situation and circumstances.""" text28032;"""He couldn't put himself in my shoes.""" text28033;"""And I was disgusted by that sort of routine sympathy!""" text28034;"""Just like at my parents' funeral…""" text28035;"""Familiar and unfamiliar people would approach me and give their condolences, the men would give me a firm handshake, the women would wipe off their tears with handkerchiefs or softly pat me on my shoulder.""" text28036;"""And then everyone just left me alone in that huge, empty house with my grief and sorrow, and only Himitsu was near.""" text28037;"""No, feelings like that couldn't be faked, the question was whether she could combine them with fulfilling her duty to the Motherland.""" text28038;"""I laughed.""" text28039;"""Ichinose-san, can you see the state I'm in? I suspect my own childhood friend — practically a sister — of being a spy!""" text28040;"""I can already imagine her taking the oath and marching with a gun on her shoulder! It's over!""" text28041;"""I can't keep on living, pretending nothing happened. Living \""like normal\""!""" text28042;"""And I hadn't even told Ichinose about that conversation with Irina.""" text28043;"""Something was stopping me from doing it — after all, it wasn't him that the KGB threatened.""" text28044;"""Even though we were being spied on before, at least I didn't know! Now… What happens now?""" text28045;"""I wish I could help you…""" text28046;"""Ichinose said heavily.""" text28047;"""But, in any case, you should worry about yourself first, not about your friend.""" text28048;"""It's easy to say that!""" text28049;"""Indeed, during the last twenty-four hours, Himitsu had been of more concern to me than my own safety.""" text28050;"""And, if you don't give them a reason, they won't have one!""" text28051;"""He smiled and took a few steps back.""" text28052;"""You should return home before sunrise to avoid raising suspicion.""" text28053;"""You're right, I guess.""" text28054;"""We bid each other farewell, and I walked to the nearest telephone box to call a taxi.""" text28055;"""I had to wait a while — I wasn't in the centre of Tokyo, after all — so by the time the car arrived, I was chilled to the bone.""" text28056;"""…""" text28057;"""The sun began to rise behind the window, but my thoughts about my conversation with Ichinose kept me from falling asleep.""" text28058;"""Ballistic missiles? Was it that serious?""" text28059;"""Really, the words just sounded menacing.""" text28060;"""Missiles, bridges — what did it matter to me?""" text28061;"""It'd been clear for a while that he hadn't been making toys there!""" text28062;"""I wondered if Himitsu was in danger.""" text28063;"""After all, everyone knows what they did to useless soldiers in ancient Japan…"""