text24241;"""It's hard to remember what you were dreaming about when you're snapped awake unceremoniously — by the persistent ringing of a doorbell."""
text24242;"""It definitely wasn't Himitsu, since yesterday I hadn't locked the door from the inside."""
text24243;"""I didn't even have a chance to check what time it was — but the sun shining outside meant it was probably early morning."""
text24244;"""By the time I approached the door, the ringing gave way to furious knocking."""
text24245;"""I'm coming, I'm coming…"""
text24246;"""Standing in the doorway was an infuriated Kagome."""
text24247;"""Where are the documents? Did YOU take them?"""
text24248;"""Iwamura-san, do you even know what time it is?!"""
text24249;"""By the way, what time is it…?"""
text24250;"""The documents!"""
text24251;"""She repeated in a threatening tone and unceremoniously squeezed herself inside, pushing me aside with an elbow."""
text24252;"""I obediently followed her."""
text24253;"""Aha!"""
text24254;"""Kagome exclaimed victoriously, having discovered the documents on the kitchen table."""
text24255;"""I'd been so tired yesterday that I went to bed immediately after tossing them there."""
text24256;"""It's six o'clock, for God's sake!"""
text24257;"""I pleaded after checking the time."""
text24258;"""No wonder I felt so terrible — I'd only managed to sleep for three hours, if that."""
text24259;"""Are the trains running already? Or did you come on foot?"""
text24260;"""Who allowed you to take the documents?"""
text24261;"""I thought it'd be safer this way."""
text24262;"""He thought! Next time think harder!"""
text24263;"""She grabbed the entire pile of papers and prepared to leave."""
text24264;"""Wait! Listen to me for a moment!"""
text24265;"""Kagome suddenly stopped but didn't say a word."""
text24266;"""The KGB people already knew where I was going yesterday. So, to a degree, I had nothing to fear."""
text24267;"""And they must be following you as well — they may have seen the courier deliver these papers to your restaurant."""
text24268;"""She spent a while thinking deeply about it, like she'd been ask to solve a millennium challenge."""
text24269;"""Either way, Ichinose-san sent them to me!"""
text24270;"""I'm sure he would approve of my actions if he knew what we do now."""
text24271;"""Kagome didn't respond. Instead she returned to the table, carefully put the folder with the documents on it, and sat down on a chair."""
text24272;"""You could've told me instead of running away when I fell asleep."""
text24273;"""I didn't want to wake you up…"""
text24274;"""I noticed."""
text24275;"""Well, do excuse me for…"""
text24276;"""That's not what I meant."""
text24277;"""You put me in bed. Thank you…"""
text24278;"""The nights are getting colder. I didn't want you to get sick…"""
text24279;"""I replied with embarrassment."""
text24280;"""If it'll make you feel better, you can take the documents. You're right, I should've talked to you first."""
text24281;"""No, it's fine. What matters is that they're safe. We'll need them today."""
text24282;"""What for?"""
text24283;"""I called an acquaintance of my father, and he agreed to meet with us! He's a scientist as well, so he'll likely get more out of these papers than either of us."""
text24284;"""That sounds good and all, but what about the surveillance…?"""
text24285;"""I'm confident nobody's been following me today!"""
text24286;"""So was I until yesterday's visit from Irina."""
text24287;"""What made you think that she was telling the truth?"""
text24288;"""What made me…"""
text24289;"""I said slowly."""
text24290;"""And really, the thought had never crossed my mind."""
text24291;"""Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean you're not being followed."""
text24292;"""Is the opposite true?"""
text24293;"""Could the seemingly obvious fact that I was being followed have made me paranoid?"""
text24294;"""Why would she lie about something like that? And why wouldn't they be watching me?"""
text24295;"""You think Soviet spies just casually walk around the streets in the middle of the day and follow anyone they want?"""
text24296;"""I think the Japanese government might have something to say about that!"""
text24297;"""Well if you put it that way…"""
text24298;"""It was probably stupid of me to assume Irina's and her colleagues' actions met no resistance."""
text24299;"""And why would they risk exposing themselves over some school kid?"""
text24300;"""But she knew things she couldn't have learned otherwise…"""
text24301;"""Kagome thought about it."""
text24302;"""Maybe they watch my restaurant and your house. Maybe our school as well, I don't know…"""
text24303;"""But if they had an agent constantly following your every move, they wouldn't have enough men!"""
text24304;"""It wasn't likely that Irina had brought an entire spy division with her from the USSR — Kagome was probably right about that."""
text24305;"""But you must know we have no way to make sure if any of that is true! If they really aren't watching us, we'll never find out!"""
text24306;"""Could it be worse?"""
text24307;"""She suddenly smirked and lazily leaned back in the chair."""
text24308;"""We might get killed!"""
text24309;"""Is this really life?"""
text24310;"""I think that as long as you're alive, healthy, and sane — it is. We've only got one life and shouldn't be so careless with it!"""
text24311;"""Listen to this philosophizing!"""
text24312;"""Listen to this existentialism!"""
text24313;"""Pfff…"""
text24314;"""Kagome scoffed, walked to the fridge, opened it, and carefully checked its contents."""
text24315;"""What are you doing?"""
text24316;"""I'm going to make breakfast."""
text24317;"""She suddenly froze, closed the door, turned to me, and added with a smirk:"""
text24318;"""Unless milord would object, of course!"""
text24319;"""I personally haven't eaten yet because I had to run to your place first thing in the morning!"""
text24320;"""Your lord has no objections!"""
text24321;"""I mocked her and left the kitchen to freshen up."""
text24322;"""…"""
text24323;"""Ten minutes later, various plates, bowls, and pots had appeared on the table — it was a traditional Japanese breakfast, except for the fish I didn't have."""
text24324;"""Honestly, I found it hard to grasp where Kagome had managed to find the ingredients to cook all this in the first place."""
text24325;"""Truly, a stone soup!"""
text24326;"""Something not to your liking?"""
text24327;"""What made you think that?"""
text24328;"""Your expression."""
text24329;"""What expression?"""
text24330;"""That one!"""
text24331;"""She grumbled and started eating."""
text24332;"""Well, she was no worse a cook than Himitsu."""
text24333;"""As I had already discovered."""
text24334;"""It's just that Himitsu hadn't made a simple breakfast into such a feast in a long while."""
text24335;"""Maybe Kagome just wanted to show off a bit — everyone loves having their talents appreciated."""
text24336;"""And it seemed to me she was extremely confident in her cooking."""
text24337;"""Everything's very tasty, I didn't expect…"""
text24338;"""You didn't expect?"""
text24339;"""That's not what I wanted to… Forget it!"""
text24340;"""Not any worse than your red-headed friend's cooking?"""
text24341;"""Himitsu? How do you know she cooks for me?"""
text24342;"""You'd have to be blind not to notice that you bring a bento with you almost every day. I doubt you make them yourself."""
text24343;"""Fair enough. And no — not any worse."""
text24344;"""Thank you!"""
text24345;"""I folded my hands in a praying gesture and gave her a demonstratively slow bow."""
text24346;"""You don't need to go that far…"""
text24347;"""If you say so…"""
text24348;"""So, when and where will this acquaintance of yours be waiting for us?"""
text24349;"""…"""
text24350;"""Are you sure that meeting at a train station in the morning, during rush hour, is a good idea?"""
text24351;"""I'd spent the entire way on alert, trying to confuse any potential pursuers by choosing longer routes. Luckily, we had enough time for that."""
text24352;"""If they're really following us like you claim then what does it matter? We won't be safe anywhere."""
text24353;"""You're right…"""
text24354;"""I acknowledged reluctantly."""
text24355;"""Kagome's father's acquaintance appeared right on time."""
text24356;"""He seemed to be around the same age as Ichinose but looked more youthful — slim, fit, and energetic, his eyes still had a spark to them."""
text24357;"""I quickly decided that we should go to my favorite bar — it was close to the station, and there was little chance people would bother us there at this hour."""
text24358;"""The Bartender was peacefully dozing off behind the counter and didn't even give me a welcoming shout — just greeted me politely."""
text24359;"""Nishimura-san, this is Nikolai."""
text24360;"""Kagome introduced me briefly."""
text24361;"""Pleasure to meet you."""
text24362;"""Likewise. Let's get to the point — I can see you've got a lot of material."""
text24363;"""Nishimura quickly flipped through the folder, then picked out a few sheets, took them out, and started to examine them more carefully."""
text24364;"""Well well… Very interesting."""
text24365;"""I fidgeted impatiently in my seat, like a student in front of the teacher checking his exam paper."""
text24366;"""It was better not to hurry him, but waiting patiently turned out to be extremely difficult."""
text24367;"""Kagome, on the contrary, looked outwardly calm, but I was absolutely sure the same emotions were boiling inside of her."""
text24368;"""So you're saying that Ichinose-san gave this to you?"""
text24369;"""Do you know each other?"""
text24370;"""Yes, we've met at a few scientific conferences, but I wouldn't say we're personally acquainted."""
text24371;"""Then it wouldn't be wise to tell him what happened to Ichinose."""
text24372;"""To be honest, I had no idea what level of transparency was appropriate when talking with the man."""
text24373;"""All Kagome had told me was that we'd show him the documents, and I had no good reason to object."""
text24374;"""After all, I also wanted to find out more about all this, even though I was afraid to make a mistake."""
text24375;"""It's pretty strange that he gave such important documents to you, Kagome-chan…"""
text24376;"""You see, my dad…"""
text24377;"""She wasn't good at lying, especially lying about serious matters, while looking the other person in the eye."""
text24378;"""So I had to step in so as to not make him suspicious from the get-go:"""
text24379;"""Come on Kagome, there's nothing to be shy about!"""
text24380;"""You see, Akira-san is in the hospital."""
text24381;"""Nothing serious, I hope?"""
text24382;"""Nishimura asked with sincere sympathy in his voice."""
text24383;"""Nothing serious, it's just acute pancreatitis. But the doctors insisted on hospitalization."""
text24384;"""I had no idea he had pancreatitis."""
text24385;"""I cursed at myself for the failed improvisation, but Nishimura continued:"""
text24386;"""Although we haven't talked in a while. That's also why I was surprised by your call this morning."""
text24387;"""Sorry about that."""
text24388;"""It's fine. It's not like I'm busy at the moment — life gets pretty boring in retirement. I could use a bit of a shake up."""
text24389;"""It seemed like we got lucky."""
text24390;"""…"""
text24391;"""He spent some more time studying the papers, before I finally ran out of patience:"""
text24392;"""Nishimura-san? Have you figured anything out?"""
text24393;"""He took his eyes off the documents and looked at me intently from over his glasses."""
text24394;"""Oh yes, a lot! Except for one thing: how did this material end up in your hands?"""
text24395;"""Is that important?"""
text24396;"""Kagome asked with irritation."""
text24397;"""It's important to me — to make sure that you aren't trying to drag me into something… bad."""
text45879;"""No to mention, I heard that these efforts were going to be discontinued…"""
text45880;"""He carefully looked first at me, then at Kagome, like a judge waiting for a response from the defendants."""
text24398;"""We're just asking for your help because we can't figure this thing out ourselves!"""
text24399;"""No wonder! This…"""
text24400;"""Suddenly, his voice trembled, and an expression of awe appeared on his face — as if those weren't simple paper sheets he was holding, but, at the very least, the bleeding icon of the Divine Mother."""
text24401;"""This is a scientific breakthrough that would push us years, maybe even decades ahead!"""
text24402;"""And what's this breakthrough about?"""
text24403;"""First, answer my question!"""
text24404;"""I looked at Kagome — she was sitting there with an expression of stubborn determination on her face."""
text24405;"""It was clear that she wasn't about to tell him anything even under torture."""
text24406;"""I wasn't so radical about it, but I didn't want to argue with her in front of Nishimura."""
text24407;"""We told you, Ichinose-san gave them to us."""
text24408;"""Indeed? And where is he?"""
text24409;"""Nishimura-san, is that important?"""
text24410;"""Of course it is! Do you understand that I'm discussing groundbreaking scientific discoveries with two high school students early in the morning in some mediocre café?"""
text24411;"""What next? Will it turn out that this is in fact your work and I'm sitting in front of two future Nobel prize winners?!"""
text24412;"""Kagome didn't know whether he had worked at Kobayashi Corporation before, but Nishimura surely looked very agitated."""
text24413;"""These papers…"""
text24414;"""He leaned forward and covered his mouth with his hand."""
text24415;"""…are valuable enough to kill for!"""
text24416;"""Nishimura-san, you're exaggerating!"""
text24417;"""With every remaining bit of composure I was doing my best to look calm and speak normally, but deep inside of me was growing a feeling that we wouldn't get anything from him."""
text24418;"""At least, not with this approach."""
text24419;"""Would you excuse us for a minute?"""
text24420;"""I stood up and grabbed Kagome by the arm — so quickly that she didn't have time to object."""
text24421;"""We stepped aside."""
text24422;"""We'll have to tell him everything!"""
text24423;"""Don't even think about it!"""
text24424;"""You're the one who asked him to come! And now you're backing off?!"""
text24425;"""To be honest, I don't know him that well…"""
text24426;"""Then what the hell are we doing here?!"""
text24427;"""Do you have a better plan?"""
text24428;"""We were talking loudly enough to wake up the Bartender, who had already wiped the dust from his eyes and was looking at us carefully from behind the bar."""
text24429;"""I think that if we're already here, we should see this to the end!"""
text24430;"""I said in a quieter voice."""
text24431;"""Fine, but if something goes wrong, it's your fault!"""
text24432;"""We returned to the table, but Nishimura didn't even seem to notice us, glued to the documents."""
text24433;"""Nishimura-san?"""
text24434;"""Huh?"""
text24435;"""He came to his senses and looked at me."""
text24436;"""So, what have you decided?"""
text24437;"""Have you ever heard about… the Project?"""
text24438;"""I decided to try and work up to it."""
text24439;"""First Nishimura's eyes bulged, then he turned pale."""
text24440;"""The P…Project? Of course, I should've realized immediately! With Ichinose-san and especially Akira-san's involvement!"""
text24441;"""And this research… It seemed suspiciously familiar to me right away."""
text24442;"""You know what, children? I don't want anything to do with this! And I advise you the same!"""
text24443;"""With these words, he stood up and all but ran for the exit."""
text24444;"""Well, so much for a talk…"""
text24445;"""I sighed and turned to Kagome."""
text24446;"""Her face was contorted into a grimace of impotent anger, and only the grinding of her teeth indicated she hadn't turned into a statue."""
text24447;"""Got what you wanted?! Told him everything?! And what's the result?!"""
text24448;"""We decided together…"""
text24449;"""I tried to offer an awkward excuse."""
text24450;"""Yeah right!"""
text24451;"""Fine, let's calm down and think…"""
text24452;"""Kagome scoffed and turned away."""
text24453;"""We can't say we achieved nothing at all!"""
text24454;"""What have we achieved? That he's about to go to the Corporation and tell them everything?!"""
text24455;"""Did you see how scared he was just from the mention of the Project? I don't think he's going anywhere near Kobayashi Corporation's offices!"""
text24456;"""Then he'll tell… I don't know… the police!"""
text24457;"""Tell them what? That two school kids are skipping classes and reading some nerdy books in a café? The entirety of Japan has maybe a dozen people who can understand what's written here!"""
text24458;"""Dozen shmozen…"""
text24459;"""You think I'm wrong? Should we ask our physics teacher?"""
text24460;"""I'm not suggesting anything."""
text24461;"""Kagome looked offended, or rather, upset."""
text24462;"""She probably didn't actually believe I'd done something wrong, but her pride made her look for a scapegoat even here."""
text24463;"""Aren't you a bit too worried about these papers?"""
text24464;"""Am I?"""
text24465;"""The KGB has the originals of Ichinose-san's documents. I don't know how valuable they are to the Russians, but we can at least hope they wouldn't hunt us down over them."""
text24466;"""And why is that?"""
text24467;"""Why would you kill someone for information you already know?"""
text24468;"""So that no one else can get to it?"""
text24469;"""Kagome was right, and in trying to calm her down I'd let my guard down."""
text24470;"""And ended up driving myself to a dead end."""
text24471;"""I was desperately pushing away the thought that there was no way out, but with every passing day I found it harder and harder to ignore the realization that the trap was about to shut close."""
text24472;"""My life had taken a wrong turn ever since Catherine came back."""
text24473;"""First that note, then the calls, then the Corporation, the KGB, and now Kagome and her father's kidnapping, and these documents that had to at least be the blueprints for a flying saucer!"""
text24474;"""Do you disagree?"""
text24475;"""I didn't know how to answer."""
text24476;"""Of course, I felt sorry for Kagome and genuinely wanted to help her, but I had no personal stake in this situation!"""
text24477;"""My father was long-dead, I didn't suffer from an excess of patriotic sentiment and didn't want to be exposed to unnecessary risks for any other reason."""
text24478;"""My parents' death most likely wasn't an accident, but I had enough sense to understand one thing: a high schooler could only take his revenge on the world in manga."""
text24479;"""Did Kagome understand that?"""
text24480;"""Sometimes it feels like you're ready to do anything…"""
text24481;"""To get my father back? Yes, I am!"""
text24482;"""That's not exactly what I mean. I think the ends justify the means for you."""
text24483;"""Oh, don't get all fancy!"""
text24484;"""What if the situation was the exact opposite — and you were in charge of Kobayashi Corporation?"""
text24485;"""Wouldn't you also utilize any method to achieve your goals, like Kobayashi Jun does?"""
text24486;"""Could've, would've, should've…"""
text24487;"""I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want to point out that sometimes it's wise to stop."""
text24488;"""You're saying this like I'm about to go bomb their office!"""
text24489;"""Would you, given the chance?"""
text24490;"""Kagome scoffed huffily and turned her back to me."""
text24491;"""…"""
text24492;"""I could use some beer right about now!"""
text24493;"""The silence dragged on for too long, and I couldn't come up with anything better."""
text24494;"""Go ahead!"""
text24495;"""Her permission stopped me better than any prohibition."""
text24496;"""What do you want from me?!"""
text24497;"""Absolutely nothing."""
text24498;"""Then we wouldn't be sitting here."""
text24499;"""You can go. Just leave the documents."""
text24500;"""And to think that this morning she seemed to finally be warming up to me. Had it been just my imagination?"""
text24501;"""I really want to help you, but you're just not letting me!"""
text24502;"""If you intend to just charge ahead, alone against the world, then it's my duty to inform you that that's stupid!"""
text24503;"""You know, you're right!"""
text24504;"""Kagome suddenly grew even angrier."""
text24505;"""You really don't need to be here. Sorry for dragging you into all this, Niko-san!"""
text24506;"""I can handle my problems myself, you don't need to subject yourself to danger!"""
text24507;"""Here we go again…"""
text24508;"""Am I wrong?"""
text24509;"""I found it hard to answer that question even to myself."""
text24510;"""Objectively, I couldn't say I had any good reason to risk my life for Iwamura."""
text24511;"""What about risking it for myself?"""
text24512;"""Was it that important for me to find out the truth about my parents' death?"""
text24513;"""Of course, Kagome's persistence could help there, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions."""
text24514;"""The price of the truth is often unreasonably high!"""
text24515;"""And the easiest way to talk about that price is to sit in a comfortable chair in your office, pouring over some philosophical or historical work."""
text24516;"""Meanwhile, I had to make a decision here and now!"""
text24517;"""Say I'm ready to support her"""
text24518;"""Say the risk is too high"""
text24519;"""Well since we're on the topic, you aren't the only one with a stake in this whole thing!"""
text24520;"""My parents died because of the Corporation, remember?"""
text24521;"""I'm glad you remember."""
text24522;"""What's that supposed to mean?"""
text24523;"""Her words got to me."""
text24524;"""Maybe finding out the truth about my parents' death wasn't the only reason I wanted to help her so much."""
text24525;"""It means I'm starting to think that you've got way too comfortable in your giant house, surrounded by cute girls who can't get enough of you for whatever reason."""
text24526;"""And with all this comfort, you've forgotten who your real enemies are."""
text24527;"""Her words, her facial expression, body language, and the imperceptible aura around her — all of it betrayed a burning desire for revenge."""
text24528;"""Was her father's kidnapping the only reason for it?"""
text24529;"""I couldn't imagine a hatred like that coming about in just a couple weeks."""
text24530;"""Once again: I'm ready to help you with finding your father, because it would also allow me to learn more about my past."""
text24531;"""But I'm not going to declare a holy war on capitalism as personified by the Kobayashi family!"""
text24532;"""You can turn any serious topic into a joke."""
text24533;"""She suddenly smiled and relaxed — and I could feel the tension subside."""
text24534;"""So it's a deal?"""
text24535;"""For today."""
text24536;"""Gotta start somewhere."""
text24537;"""By the way, do you want to eat? It's too early for lunch, but…"""
text24538;"""If it's your treat."""
text24539;"""Kagome responded calmly."""
text24540;"""Well, sure, I guess…"""
text24541;"""I said reluctantly."""
text24542;"""Not that I didn't want to spend the money, I just didn't expect her to be so casual about it."""
text24543;"""The Bartender appeared at our table as if by magic."""
text24544;"""What is thy desire?"""
text24545;"""…"""
text24546;"""I kept picking at my teeth with a toothpick."""
text24547;"""Do you come here often?"""
text24548;"""Occasionally."""
text24549;"""It just seems that you and the owner know each other well."""
text24550;"""I wouldn't say well exactly… And he's not an acquaintance I'd be proud of."""
text24551;"""Why?"""
text24552;"""Let say he can be naggy and very pushy at times."""
text24553;"""A typical Russian trait?"""
text24554;"""Are you saying I nag?!"""
text24555;"""Sometimes."""
text24556;"""Well that's one complaint I never thought I'd hear!"""
text24557;"""I guess it's just that nobody told you before."""
text24558;"""Maybe they haven't because I'm not actually naggy?"""
text24559;"""Or because they didn't want to upset you?"""
text24560;"""So what, you're the only one brave enough to tell it like it is?!"""
text24561;"""Sorry."""
text24562;"""Kagome smiled apologetically, cutely and even childishly."""
text24563;"""Anyway, I gotta go. Thank you for the meal."""
text24564;"""By the way, can I take the documents?"""
text24565;"""Yeah, sure!"""
text24566;"""I replied, having realized I hadn't addressed it earlier."""
text24567;"""When she left, I ignored the naggy Bartender who immediately appeared at my table, paid the bill, and returned home to get some more sleep."""
text24568;"""Looks like being right is reason enough for you to do anything at all."""
text24569;"""As if I can actually harm them in any way!"""
text24570;"""She said angrily and snapped the toothpick she'd been fiddling with."""
text24571;"""Then why so much hatred…?"""
text24572;"""It was the first time I caught myself thinking that Kagome didn't just want to find her father."""
text24573;"""Her words, her facial expressions, body language, the very aura around her — all of it betrayed a burning desire for revenge."""
text24574;"""I had no right to blame her for that, but were a couple of weeks really enough to build up this kind of genuine hatred for the Corporation?"""
text24575;"""Should I smile, keep quiet, and bat my eyes like your girlfriends?"""
text24576;"""That's too much!"""
text24577;"""It was too much when I decided to involve myself with you!"""
text24578;"""Kagome was probably only defensive because of certain topics mentioned, but by now I also got too worked up."""
text24579;"""I did everything I could! And I've got nothing else to say!"""
text24580;"""Fine! Then all the best!"""
text24581;"""She stood up, collected the papers from the table, went out of her way to slowly, carefully put them into the folder, then took it and walked out of the bar."""
text24582;"""I was left alone with the aching feeling of much left unsaid."""
text24583;"""Perhaps I should've left her sore spot alone?"""
text24584;"""But how long was I supposed to stay leashed to her?!"""
text24585;"""Whether I had any personal interest in this or not, if she continued like that, sooner or later she'd get us both in trouble!"""
text24586;"""Sheesh, Kolya, you definitely have a taste for women!"""
text24587;"""The Bartender approached my table; the bar was absolutely empty this morning."""
text24588;"""What're you talking about?"""
text24589;"""The way you were looking at her."""
text24590;"""What way was I looking at her?"""
text24591;"""The way you used to look at Catherine sometimes."""
text24592;"""Would you please leave the filthy insinuations, for God's sake?! Kagome and I were having a fight!"""
text24593;"""You mean to say you never had them with Catherine?"""
text24594;"""Maybe he was right, but I didn't want to think of Kagome in that sense at the moment…"""
text24595;"""But if even the Bartender noticed!"""
text24596;"""Under different circumstances…"""
text24597;"""What's stopping you now?"""
text24598;"""A lot!"""
text24599;"""…"""
text24600;"""I spent the entire way back thinking about the Bartender's words."""
text24601;"""The young body continues to function at maximum efficiency without any problems, even with only a few hours sleep"""
text24602;"""But only if you have something to do the entire day."""
text24603;"""If you just plan to wait until evening and only sleep then, sleep deprivation is going to catch up to you very quickly."""
text24604;"""I decided not to wait for that, and, having returned home at about noon, immediately flopped onto the bed."""
text24605;"""…"""
text24606;"""I was woken up by another doorbell."""
text24607;"""Who's there this time?!"""
text24608;"""Well, this time the bell seemingly sounded more polite."""
text24609;"""After putting on my trousers and shirt (inside-out first), I dashed to the door."""
text24610;"""Strangely enough, whoever it was only rang once — maybe it had been just my imagination?"""
text24611;"""However, opening the door, I was faced with someone I absolutely hadn't expected to see."""
text24612;"""Ellie."""
text24613;"""Hi."""
text24614;"""Were you sleeping? Sorry for waking you up!"""
text24615;"""No… I mean, I was, but no worries!"""
text24616;"""She was noticeably anxious."""
text24617;"""And something was different about Ellie."""
text24618;"""Maybe it was the guitar hanging off her back."""
text24619;"""Has something happened?"""
text24620;"""No, everything's fine. At least, as fine as it can be."""
text24621;"""Do you want to come in?"""
text24622;"""I wouldn't say no."""
text24623;"""…"""
text24624;"""Want some tea?"""
text24625;"""No, thank you."""
text24626;"""Ellie was carefully examining my kitchen."""
text24627;"""Don't worry, nobody is watching us here."""
text24628;"""I joked awkwardly."""
text24629;"""On the other hand, who could really know?"""
text24630;"""It's just that last time I didn't have much time to look around."""
text24631;"""Look around? Why? Are you going to buy my poor old home?"""
text24632;"""Where would I get the money?"""
text24633;"""I smiled idiotically and lowered my eyes."""
text24634;"""Grandpa's money is his money. I don't have much more in my pocket than any other schoolgirl."""
text24635;"""You just don't know the condition the house is in! That'll be more than enough!"""
text24636;"""I'll think about it."""
text24637;"""Ellie was fidgeting in place."""
text24638;"""Anyway… To what do I owe the honor?"""
text24639;"""You haven't been to school today, so I…"""
text24640;"""She was very embarrassed, as if trying to offer an excuse for doing something questionable, unbecoming of a real lady."""
text24641;"""So, I decided to drop by because… yesterday was awkward."""
text24642;"""I also feel guilty about what happened — after all, they're my friends."""
text24643;"""Alright."""
text24644;"""Is that all you can say?"""
text24645;"""In reality, I was quite surprised by her visit and the apology, and didn't really know how to behave in this sort of situation."""
text24646;"""What am I supposed to say? To be honest, I'm not very good at this whole manners thing, so I'd be happy for a couple lessons."""
text24647;"""Ellie thought about it then seemed to remember something."""
text24648;"""I've got a couple lessons for you! You mentioned you play bass, right?"""
text24649;"""I used to play at one point — would be closer to the truth. Never been great though."""
text24650;"""That's fine."""
text24651;"""For a while we just kept silent."""
text24652;"""Well?"""
text24653;"""What?"""
text24654;"""Are you going to show me your bass?"""
text24655;"""Yeah, sure!"""
text24656;"""I walked to the door to my room and froze in hesitation."""
text24657;"""Catherine and Himitsu were the only ones who'd been there before."""
text24658;"""No, that was stupid! As if I was hiding something in there!"""
text24659;"""Sorry for the mess."""
text24660;"""Ellie entered after me and looked around."""
text24661;"""I expected worse."""
text24662;"""Ah, there it is!"""
text24663;"""She noticed the bass standing next to the bed, immediately walked to it, carefully examined and then took it in her hands."""
text24664;"""Not bad, not bad at all!"""
text24665;"""Yeah, you know, I wanted to learn how to play a proper guitar, not some piece of wood!"""
text24666;"""Uh huh…"""
text24667;"""She put her foot on the amplifier, adjusted the bass in her hands, and played a fairly simple melody."""
text24668;"""It's out of tune. Wait a bit."""
text24669;"""She only needed half a minute to make the bass sound right again."""
text24670;"""Damn, I can't do that…"""
text24671;"""It's not difficult! You just need to remember how one string should sound and then tune the rest to it."""
text24672;"""You know, when someone says \""it's not difficult\"" — that's the first tell it's going to be difficult."""
text24673;"""She smiled and handed the bass over to me."""
text24674;"""Can't achieve anything without practice. You think I could play guitar from the day I was born?"""
text24675;"""Of course not! But people are different, in terms of talent. Some are just naturals."""
text24676;"""Well, let's see about that!"""
text24677;"""What?"""
text24678;"""Ellie ran out and in a couple seconds returned with a guitar."""
text24679;"""Ah, right…"""
text24680;"""Give it to me!"""
text24681;"""She unceremoniously grabbed the bass out of my hands, sat on the bed, and started playing."""
text24682;"""Memorized it?"""
text24683;"""Of course not!"""
text24684;"""I replied with indignation."""
text24685;"""Then I'll go another time, slower."""
text24686;"""The second time really did make the melody more understandable."""
text24687;"""And what is that?"""
text24688;"""One of my new songs."""
text24689;"""…"""
text24690;"""Ellie took her guitar out of its case."""
text24691;"""Ready? One, two, three!"""
text24692;"""She started playing, and I just sat and looked at her."""
text24693;"""Well?!"""
text24694;"""What?"""
text24695;"""Fine! When I snap my fingers… like this! Start playing what I showed you."""
text24696;"""You know, there's a Russian fairy tale about a donkey, a goat, a monkey, and a bear…"""
text24697;"""I don't know!"""
text24698;"""Ellie interrupted me impatiently."""
text24699;"""So, in the end it goes something like this: \""And you, my friends, no matter your positions, will never be musicians!\"""""
text24700;"""You're giving up without even trying!"""
text24701;"""I'm just realistically evaluating my skill based on my prior experience."""
text24702;"""Those who do nothing make no mistakes?"""
text24703;"""That's not the same thing…"""
text24704;"""Why? I think it suits you well! You're so afraid that somebody will think something wrong about you that you prefer not to try at all!"""
text24705;"""I don't care about…"""
text24706;"""But I felt the sting of pain as her words hit on something deep inside."""
text24707;"""If you want it that much, fine!"""
text24708;"""Great!"""
text24709;"""…"""
text24710;"""The song actually turned out to be relatively simple, but when you haven't held a bass in your hands in many years, everything is difficult!"""
text24711;"""We had to start over and over again, because I would either forget my part or play it totally off rhythm."""
text24712;"""Ellie carefully and patiently showed me how to play correctly, over and over again."""
text24713;"""I'd never have thought she could remain so effortlessly calm."""
text24714;"""While I wanted to smash my head against the bass, Ellie kept repeating the same thing again and again."""
text24715;"""And finally, I got it!"""
text24716;"""One time, we played it correctly."""
text24717;"""Woohoo!"""
text24718;"""I shouted after picking the string for the last time."""
text24719;"""See! And you were afraid!"""
text24720;"""But it wasn't easy!"""
text24721;"""Well, how do you feel now?"""
text24722;"""How do I feel?"""
text24723;"""I repeated and, with a great deal of surprise, noticed that my mood was indeed much better and I felt an unusual influx of energy and positivity."""
text24724;"""Fine, you won!"""
text24725;"""What did I tell you!"""
text24726;"""By the way, I wanted to ask you…"""
text24727;"""Yeah?"""
text24728;"""I thought you were going to sing today."""
text24729;"""No, not today…"""
text24730;"""She suddenly grew embarrassed and quickly put the guitar back in its case."""
text24731;"""The lyrics aren't finished yet."""
text24732;"""Aaah, I see…"""
text24733;"""I drawled."""
text24734;"""An awkward silence hang in the room."""
text24735;"""You know… Actually, I came to tell you that I'm ready to help you."""
text24736;"""Well, not both of you, just you! I don't want to have anything to do with that girl!"""
text24737;"""Alright, got it — you don't need to talk to her at all!"""
text24738;"""But I can't promise anything… Grandpa said I shouldn't get involved in all this."""
text24739;"""And he's probably right, but…"""
text24740;"""But what?"""
text24741;"""Nothing!"""
text24742;"""She suddenly got angry."""
text24743;"""I told you I'll help, so I will! I've got to go now."""
text24744;"""I saw Ellie to the door, closed it behind her, and kept standing in the hallway, staring right in front of me."""
text24745;"""Help, huh…?"""
text24746;"""I was supposed to be happy, but there was something about this entire situation that made me anxious."""
text24747;"""…"""
text24748;"""The rest of the day was surprisingly peaceful, for the first time in a while."""
text24749;"""I kept catching myself throwing occasional glances at Himitsu's house."""
text24750;"""I guess I wanted to complete the overall idyllic peace with a tasty dinner, a familiar face, and a normal conversation about nothing."""
text24751;"""Habits that take years to form don't die in a day, no matter how inappropriate they might seem under new circumstances."""
text24752;"""I was walking around the house like a tiger in a cage, unable to find anything to do."""
text24753;"""Books couldn't hold my attention longer than a minute, all the TV shows seemed boring, and cleaning or washing clothes — pointless."""
text24754;"""Just waiting for something is hard enough, but it's even harder when you don't know what you're waiting for."""
text24755;"""In Japan, prisoners sentenced to death only learn they're about to die the morning of their execution."""
text24756;"""Until then, they can spend years and even decades in ignorance."""
text24757;"""But Himitsu never came and by night I was completely exhausted by all the pointless flailing about."""
text24758;"""My bed took me in its embrace, covered me with a warm blanket, its soft pillow whispering a kind lullaby, and sleep came at once."""
text24759;"""The awakening was just as quick— I jerked up because of loud sounds coming from the yard."""
text24760;"""The sound of broken glass, banging against the wall, and the stomping of someone running away."""
text24761;"""It took some time for me to come to my senses after such a short sleep and realize I hadn't just imagined all that."""
text24762;"""I sat up and tried to listen in — the night silence of our quiet district was all that rang out in my room."""
text24763;"""Had it been just my imagination after all?"""
text24764;"""With effort I got up and sneaked into the kitchen."""
text24765;"""Everything was as I had left it there, and no one else was inside."""
text24766;"""I spent a long time hesitating before the front door but finally threw it open and jumped outside."""
text24767;"""There was no one there either…"""
text24768;"""I noticed that the glass of the window next to the door was broken, and there was an insulting Japanese character sloppily painted on the door."""
text24769;"""Obviously, neither the KGB nor the Corporation would do something this dumb — so, it must've been Ellie's friends."""
text24770;"""At first glance, it was so stupid that I didn't even know how to react."""
text24771;"""Some cut my nose to spite my face sort of shit!"""
text24772;"""Before the paint would completely, I started cleaning away the obscene message."""
text24773;"""Which took me a good hour."""
text24774;"""Unfortunately, I didn't have a spare for the broken window, so I had to board the resulting hole somehow."""
text24775;"""Until better times. If they would ever come."""
text24776;"""That act of vandalism amused me more than frightened me."""
text24777;"""I just imagined myself being in the shoes of anyone in their posse — all of their problems were about fighting for a spot in the local social hierarchy."""
text24778;"""Their purpose in life was to maximize their pleasure."""
text24779;"""Not just getting nice experiences, but turning simple gratification into a cult."""
text24780;"""Sex, alcohol, maybe even drugs."""
text24781;"""Quarreling with their kind and bullying the weak."""
text24782;"""Their primitive existence, not too different from that of a pack of hyenas, might have seemed attractive to me some time ago."""
text24783;"""But now I was facing more important problems."""
text24784;"""Problems that probably aren't meant to be solved by your average school student."""
text24785;"""It was already two o'clock."""
text24786;"""I was sitting in the kitchen and looking into the darkness of my home, as if expecting a monster jump at me out of a far corner."""
text24787;"""Almost the whole day had been spent in expectation of disaster, I didn't manage to get any proper sleep, and now I couldn't fall asleep again."""
text24788;"""Was I really the hero of my own novel?"""
text24789;"""Suddenly, I felt unbearably sad and lonely — that feeling when you realize you can't handle the difficulties that came crashing down upon you."""
text24790;"""I'd never envied anyone in my life. Or at least, I never wanted to live someone else's life."""
text24791;"""Probably because deep inside I knew that in addition to everything I thought I wanted from them, I'd get all sorts of problems I couldn't see from outside."""
text24792;"""But now it felt excruciatingly painful that some people were just living their lives, going to school, then spending time with friends."""
text24793;"""Their life could seem boring and monotonous, but, at the same time, they didn't have to sit like this, in the middle of the night, and wait for their enemies to come for them."""
text24794;"""They didn't jump at every ring of the doorbell and they weren't looking for KGB agents in every face."""
text24795;"""And even if they didn't have a person they loved, they were also free of all that endless nerve wracking tied to it."""
text24796;"""It's better to be alone than with someone random, isn't it?"""
text24797;"""I thought that under different circumstances I'd be with Himitsu now."""
text24798;"""And that didn't seem like a bad deal to me, but it also felt like it was written on a page torn out of a different book."""
text24799;"""Even its format didn't match the story of my life — and there was no way I could glue it in somehow."""
text24800;"""Can your fate really be changed so radically, all at once?"""
text24801;"""And what's fate anyway? Does it even exist?"""
text24802;"""The chain of random events, the decisions of people I knew very poorly or didn't know at all seemed to matter more in the end than my own actions."""
text24803;"""If Catherine hadn't come back."""
text24804;"""If I hadn't met Kagome and Ellie."""
text24805;"""If the not-so-sane KGB Major hadn't come up with the idea to try and pry out government secrets out of an innocent school kid."""
text24806;"""If…"""
text24807;"""In the end, how is fate — the story of your life, written before your birth — fundamentally different from a sequence of random events?"""
text24808;"""Especially if you have no way to influence it either way!"""
text24809;"""Once my exhaustion reached an unbearable level and I started blacking out, I finally managed to fall asleep."""
text24810;"""But in any case, the very thought that I wasn't in control of my own life disgusted me!"""