text4696;"""A man can always be judged by how much he looks forward to the weekend.""" text4697;"""If the working days of the week were spent in labor, if you're exhausted and just want to rest, then you treat the weekend as a deserved reward.""" text4698;"""If you don't care and it's just the end of the week, then you're a lazy deadbeat!""" text4699;"""…was what my father used to say.""" text4700;"""I doubted he was an overly strict man, rather, he was painfully fair-minded.""" text4701;"""Maybe he could no longer live under the totalitarian Soviet regime, or maybe his reasons were much more banal and mundane. In any case, it was far beyond the understanding of the small boy jerked out of his everyday life.""" text4702;"""I remembered being led to the airport by the hand, my father dragging a large suitcase behind him, a huge plane gobbling up passengers then soaring away, to the sun, higher than the birds, higher than Icarus who I'd read about in a book of Greek myths.""" text4703;"""I didn't feel scared at all at the time — I guess I didn't really understand what was going on.""" text4704;"""Slowly gliding along the lush carpet of clouds, the plane looked more like a ship swaying peacefully on the waves.""" text4705;"""And when the silhouettes of forests, rivers, cities, the endless vast steppes and tundras appeared below, they for some reason seemed unreal, like I was watching a film.""" text4706;"""The airport in that foreign country felt completely different, the new city was like another planet compared to my hometown.""" text4707;"""Many strange people were running about, speaking an unfamiliar language; the lights of the billboards, the endless strings of cars.""" text4708;"""I held tighter to my mother's coat — it seemed as if in just a moment, I would be picked up and carried away by this flow to a place from where little children never return.""" text4709;"""Dad looked tense, the vein on his temple throbbing from time to time.""" text4710;"""People were constantly coming into our cramped hotel room — some of them spoke Russian, but I couldn't understand exactly what they were saying.""" text4711;"""And then we moved here.""" text4712;"""I would never have thought that all of this was just for the three of us.""" text4713;"""My old room had seemed enormous to me — I would build pillow fortresses , jump on the bed without even reaching the ceiling, and it seemed like the closet (that mom called a \""Czechoslovak wall\"") held all the treasure in the world…""" text4714;"""After that our new house, to my mind, was a mansion or palace out of Pushkin's fairy tales.""" text4715;"""Almost right away, I met the neighbor girl with the strange name.""" text4716;"""She was way too shy and would never let go of her simple rag doll, but she spoke Russian, although with a slight accent.""" text4717;"""She didn't know how to play cops and robbers, which I was very upset about.""" text4718;"""It was as if until I arrived, all she had been doing day in and day out was read her stupid books with scribbles!""" text4719;"""Like, we had calligraphy classes in the first grade, and here, it was as if no one went to school at all!""" text4720;"""But there were cool pictures in her books, and over time I started to understand Japanese cartoons too. Not without my new friend's help, of course.""" text4721;"""She didn't stop being weird, but I got used to her. In fact, to me, she became the only one I was close to besides my parents…""" text4722;"""Naturally, I didn't look forward to the weekend.""" text4723;"""For me, the whole problem boiled down to the fact that I wasn't going to see Catherine today.""" text4724;"""The \""Catherine issue\"" still hung in the air, and then there was my recent fight with Himitsu…""" text4725;"""I couldn't be two faced, couldn't pretend nothing was happening, couldn't let things run their course.""" text4726;"""Both Catherine and Himitsu knew that.""" text4727;"""My lack of action would eventually drive both of them away.""" text4728;"""And while Katya couldn't be driven any further than she was now, the prospect of losing Himitsu genuinely scared me.""" text4729;"""Which meant I had to decide on something.""" text4730;"""I didn't want to think that I had to \""make a decision\"", because that would sound like a verdict.""" text4731;"""To top it off, I just didn't have the resolve to imagine that Catherine and I could be together again.""" text4732;"""Himitsu hadn't come…""" text4733;"""Well, there wasn't anything surprising about that — even she had a line her self respect couldn't stand being crossed.""" text4734;"""Was yesterday's fight the last straw?""" text4735;"""How long would this have gone on if Catherine never returned?""" text4736;"""After eating a half-assed breakfast, I simply sat in the middle of the empty kitchen, aimlessly staring into the distance.""" text4737;"""This was quite a problem life had thrown at me.""" text4738;"""Come on life, what are you doing? Everything's been going fine!""" text4739;"""I said to no one in particular, just to make sure I wasn't sitting in a vacuum.""" text4740;"""Vacuum blocks sounds, warmth, love… Just like Katya's heart!""" text4741;"""No, I needed to talk to her after all!""" text4742;"""There was just one little thing to do first — find her… And I had already tried that yesterday…""" text4743;"""There was just one little thing to do first — find her…""" text4744;"""It wasn't going to work.""" text4745;"""To look for a single girl, even an American, in multi-million person Tokyo, was a dumb idea.""" text4746;"""Not to mention, she probably didn't want to be found anyway.""" text4747;"""And we would probably see each other on Monday at school.""" text4748;"""But I couldn't sit still either. First I stood up and started pacing back and forth through the kitchen, then through the house, then walked out into the yard…""" text4749;"""The feeling of powerlessness was weighing down, depressing me.""" text4750;"""I felt like a wild predator in a small, cramped cage. If only I could break free, I'd show them all!""" text4751;"""These agonizing thoughts drove me further and further into the depths of dark frustration.""" text4752;"""The ringing of the telephone sounded somehow very simple and mundane.""" text4753;"""Recently I seemed to have learned to guess who was calling without even picking up.""" text4754;"""This time, too, it seemed like everything was fine.""" text4755;"""Hello.""" text4756;"""Hey Nick…""" text4757;"""I hung up the phone.""" text4758;"""Anybody but him!""" text4759;"""Mixed with and in contrast to my melancholy, his stupid cheerfulness would create a grim cocktail, leading to the suffering of innocent people.""" text4760;"""Still, I needed to decide what to do next: indulge in the aforementioned melancholy all the way until evening or try and do something.""" text4761;"""I didn't know where to look for Catherine, but deep inside I desperately wanted to leave the house for somewhere far away, where my depression wouldn't reach me.""" text4762;"""Go for a walk""" text4763;"""Stay home""" text4764;"""Right across from my house, on the other side of the street, was Himitsu's.""" text4765;"""Our district was strikingly eclectic, combining both the traditional Japanese style and European mini-manor houses like hers.""" text4766;"""Himitsu was half-Russian, but I didn't think she'd want to live in an izba…""" text4767;"""I would sometimes go to my grandparents' place when I was little, they had a typical Russian izba.""" text4768;"""Himitsu's grandparents, on the other hand, lived in a traditional Japanese paper house.""" text4769;"""A zero out of three on the scale of three piglets, I'd say.""" text4770;"""Niko-kun…""" text4771;"""Apparently, I got lost in daydreaming.""" text4772;"""Hey, how are you doing?""" text4773;"""Himitsu was walking back from the direction of the market with two large bags in her hands.""" text4774;"""Fine. You?""" text4775;"""Me too.""" text4776;"""Going somewhere?""" text4777;"""Just decided to take a walk. Why?""" text4778;"""Nothing, just…""" text4779;"""She kept to a minimal level of politeness. Minimal for her.""" text4780;"""Listen…""" text4781;"""I started merrily. Somehow, even to myself that merriness was unexpected.""" text4782;"""I wanted to say, sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me.""" text4783;"""It's alright, I understand.""" text4784;"""Really, I'm serious! Don't think you did anything wrong, it's all about me.""" text4785;"""If a girl tells you it's not about you, it's definitely about you.""" text4786;"""And what if it's a guy?""" text4787;"""What if it's me?""" text4788;"""Then it's definitely stupid or worse…""" text4789;"""Err, you know what, forget it! Weather's great today, let's take a walk!""" text4790;"""You mean, right now…?""" text4791;"""Himitsu slightly raised the bags, implying that she had things to do.""" text4792;"""Yeah, right now! Is it the weekend or not?""" text4793;"""I don't know, Niko-kun… I still need to make lunch.""" text4794;"""You can't work all the time and never rest!""" text4795;"""And really, not only did Himitsu regularly make food for me, she also saddled herself with all the chores of her own household after the divorce of her parents.""" text4796;"""So let's go!""" text4797;"""I hopped to her and snatched the bags out of her hands with a quick motion.""" text4798;"""Niko-kun!""" text4799;"""Himitsu protested, but her voice sounded reluctant, too timid, like when we were little.""" text4800;"""Fine!""" text4801;"""She pouted and sternly marched off to her house.""" text4802;"""I was still thinking about Catherine but decided to take a breather.""" text4803;"""I could postpone dealing with her to Monday.""" text4804;"""Although I couldn't just cast it out of my mind, I needed to distract myself.""" text4805;"""Maybe Himitsu wasn't the best option for it for many reasons, but fate itself seemed to have brought us together this morning.""" text4806;"""I didn't believe in coincidences like that, but many things in life were hard to explain logically…""" text4807;"""Here I am!""" text4808;"""Himitsu's singsong voice came from the doorway. She quickly closed the door and ran up to me.""" text4809;"""A happy smile shone on her face.""" text4810;"""Well, let's go?""" text4811;"""Yes! But where to?""" text4812;"""Where do you want to go?""" text4813;"""I hadn't actually thought about that…""" text4814;"""Because I would've been fine just strolling through the streets if I were alone.""" text4815;"""I don't know. You choose!""" text4816;"""She stared at me with a serious expression.""" text4817;"""Maybe in different circumstances, Himitsu would've simply said \""Anywhere with you!\"" But not today. Definitely not today.""" text4818;"""On the other hand, the emotional part of the situation didn't matter much — I would still have to be the one to make the decision.""" text4819;"""Fine, fine! Let's go to the amusement park. I think you've wanted to for a while.""" text4820;"""Have I? Well, maybe I have.""" text4821;"""If you don't want to…""" text4822;"""Stop it, Niko-kun! Let's go!""" text4823;"""She playfully took me by the arm and dragged me along.""" text4824;"""Hey, easy, girl!""" text4825;"""…""" text4826;"""My parents had told me stories about VDNKh, but for a while after my first visit to a Japanese amusement park I thought that was the reason they had left the Union.""" text4827;"""It was a real world of childhood, a collection of dreams recreated in reality. These days I barely found any of that interesting.""" text4828;"""Himitsu, however, seemed to be really excited, just like a kid. Excited about the candy floss, the roundabouts, even the haunted house…""" text4829;"""Let's go!""" text4830;"""She whined.""" text4831;"""You sure you're not afraid?""" text4832;"""I'm not! I mean, I am, but there isn't really anything scary in there.""" text4833;"""I mostly didn't care, but the idea of haunted houses always seemed stupid to me.""" text4834;"""I didn't like horror movies either. Real life could be much scarier.""" text4835;"""And my life right now wasn't far off from one of Hitchcock's films.""" text4836;"""So you want to get scared even though you know there's nothing to be afraid of?""" text4837;"""Well, no, but…""" text4838;"""Difficult questions weren't Himitsu's strong suit, after all.""" text4839;"""Let's just go! Niko-kun, you said it: today's the weekend! And you're out here grumbling!""" text4840;"""People must simply want a shake up, an injection of adrenaline to distract themselves from the daily grind and feel a surge of emotion.""" text4841;"""That must've been why horror stuff like that didn't attract me: my life was virtually overflowing with emotion already.""" text4842;"""Alright, alright!""" text4843;"""The haunted house was filled with all kinds of paper mache yokai, werewolves, women with long necks, and other darkspawn from Japanese folklore.""" text4844;"""I wouldn't have been scared even if I knew why these things were supposed to be scary.""" text4845;"""For example, the drunkard raccoon seemed pretty cute to me.""" text4846;"""We were moving forward pretty slowly, partly because it was dark in here.""" text4847;"""Himitsu tightly clasped my arm, and would squeeze it so hard at scarier moments that it hurt.""" text4848;"""Hey, when's the scary part supposed to start?""" text4849;"""You're always like this!""" text4850;"""What about me…? What matters is that you like it.""" text4851;"""Truth be told, I had already started to get really bored, when suddenly…""" text4852;"""Something jumped at me out of the darkness!""" text4853;"""I sprang back, dragging Himitsu along, and made a wild swing in the direction of the jumping something.""" text4854;"""The ghost cracked apart and sank to the floor with the distinctive sound of tearing cardboard.""" text4855;"""What… what… What the hell was that?!""" text4856;"""A kijo.""" text4857;"""Himitsu laughed.""" text4858;"""I knew you'd like it.""" text4859;"""Ki- what? Dammit!""" text4860;"""…""" text4861;"""After that, we started moving even slower, with me now constantly throwing glances left and right, unwilling to die from a heart attack at the tender age of 18.""" text4862;"""Didn't you say there was nothing to be afraid of?""" text4863;"""There… isn't! I was just startled! It can happen to anyone.""" text4864;"""Yeah, sure.""" text4865;"""It can!""" text4866;"""I responded rudely, my heart beating like crazy.""" text4867;"""Fine, what do you want me to say? Yeah, I got scared!""" text4868;"""I'm glad.""" text4869;"""Glad about what? Are you a sadist now?""" text4870;"""No, it's just…""" text4871;"""She grew embarrassed and dropped her eyes as if she wasn't going to continue. Still, she found the resolve:""" text4872;"""I'm glad you managed to distract yourself.""" text4873;"""Distract myself from what?""" text4874;"""I asked, uncomprehending. But Himitsu's gaze, filled with anxiety and sadness, made me understand.""" text4875;"""You know, sorry for my behavior yesterday and all, but I'm fine. I don't need to distract myself from anything!""" text4876;"""Even the buzzing yokai in the distance seemed to have grown silent for a moment, captivated by our conversation.""" text4877;"""Sorry, I didn't want to start it all over again…""" text4878;"""No, of course, it's not about you. I mean, I said as much myself!""" text4879;"""It's never about you, it can never even be about you, what am I even saying!""" text4880;"""Niko-kun…""" text4881;"""My head suddenly started to ache, thoughts about Catherine rushing over me with new strength, making the pain unbearable.""" text4882;"""Enough! Please, stop pretending we're still seven years old!""" text4883;"""Was that it?""" text4884;"""Was this really what it's all been about all the time?""" text4885;"""Did Himitsu desperately resist growing up, thinking she could live her entire life acting like a child?""" text4886;"""Children are afraid of pain, of sadness, of being scolded, of being shown their mistakes, they hate when their favorite toys are taken away.""" text4887;"""Children don't want to draw conclusions and learn, don't want to grow up.""" text4888;"""Himitsu, enough!""" text4889;"""But…""" text4890;"""She seemed to want to say something but stopped when she looked at me.""" text4891;"""Please, stop! Don't you understand you're only making it worse? Don't worry about me like this. I'm not a kid, I can make my own decisions!""" text4892;"""Whatever they are…""" text4893;"""Niko-kun, please, don't…""" text4894;"""Her small shoulders trembled, and the ghosts fell silent.""" text4895;"""You can be with her… You can be with whoever you want… Just don't be… like this!""" text4896;"""She was no longer crying, she was weeping, but I was too riled up to pay any attention.""" text4897;"""I blamed Himitsu, blamed probably for too much and undeservingly, but at that time I simply couldn't stop.""" text4898;"""It's cowardly to shift your problems to other people, and even more so to those who are close to you, but when you have no more strength left to cope with them yourself, sometimes there's just no other way.""" text4899;"""Or maybe I was just making excuses…""" text4900;"""It's sickening enough already! And then there's you! You want to support me? Then stop prying into my soul all the time! I'll sort it out myself and tell you my decision.""" text4901;"""Himitsu let out one last sob and ran away, breaking cardboard yokais on her way.""" text4902;"""The door swung closed behind her, and I was left alone in this comical phony hell, while the real demons were eating at me from inside.""" text4903;"""Enough already!""" text4904;"""In the last week, my life had turned into some shitty TV drama with a cheap plot!""" text4905;"""Unfortunately, it wasn't actually a TV show and couldn't as easily be turned off.""" text4906;"""Were I to continue on the same course, it would only get worse from here.""" text4907;"""And in a couple years there would be nothing left, only pain and void, like after mom and dad's death…""" text4908;"""I didn't want to lose anyone else close to me!""" text4909;"""And it didn't matter what I really felt!""" text4910;"""My feet carried me to the exit as if of their own accord…""" text4911;"""After running out onto the street, I was momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight.""" text4912;"""The contrast with the gloom of the haunted house was too great.""" text4913;"""When my vision returned to me, I looked around and noticed Himitsu sitting on a nearby bench, calmly eating candyfloss.""" text4914;"""Nothing remained of the fact that just a minute ago she'd been sobbing violently.""" text4915;"""Besides maybe the reddish eyes…""" text4916;"""Good day. May I make your acquaintance? My name is Nikolai.""" text4917;"""I said, approaching.""" text4918;"""It sounded stupid and out of place, but Himitsu loved jokes like this.""" text4919;"""At least she had before.""" text4920;"""No, you may not! I'm waiting for a friend.""" text4921;"""She smiled as if nothing happened.""" text4922;"""And what are you doing here?""" text4923;"""I'm waiting for a friend too… She has red hair and often makes a funny face. Like this!""" text4924;"""I puffed out my cheeks and popped my eyes out.""" text4925;"""Himitsu laughed.""" text4926;"""Come on, stop!""" text4927;"""No, no, I'm telling you, that's exactly the face she makes!""" text4928;"""Niko-kun, stop!""" text4929;"""I sat down next to her, although not too close.""" text4930;"""Sorry… For today and in general. Let's just not talk about it anymore.""" text4931;"""I let out a sigh, getting ready for a long monologue.""" text4932;"""Alright.""" text4933;"""Himitsu gave a short answer, still focused on her candyfloss.""" text4934;"""I wanted to say that…""" text4935;"""What?! That's it, that simple?""" text4936;"""Of course! Why fight if we can not fight?""" text4937;"""That's true, but… I just wanted to say I did the wrong thing. You don't deserve to be treated like this.""" text4938;"""I know.""" text4939;"""Suddenly she turned to me and said in a serious tone:""" text4940;"""Niko-kun, enough. I understand — you didn't mean to and you won't do it again, right?""" text4941;"""I felt a shiver run down my spine.""" text4942;"""Yeah, of course…""" text4943;"""And if you do, I'll bite you!""" text4944;"""Himitsu chomped through almost half the remaining floss in one go.""" text4945;"""Scary!""" text4946;"""I laughed, while actually feeling a bit uneasy,""" text4947;"""Now let's go! I still want to ride the bumper cars!""" text4948;"""Bumper cars! Now you're talking!""" text4949;"""…""" text4950;"""Maybe there was nothing strange about the change in Himitsu's behavior — it might've just been a defense mechanism.""" text4951;"""To isolate herself from the problem, to ignore it, to pretend nothing had happened.""" text4952;"""Meanwhile, I couldn't escape the thoughts that came to me in the haunted house.""" text4953;"""But the shame of what I had done, the memories of a sobbing Himitsu, and my guilt weren't letting me process them properly. Maybe I could do it later, when she would've calmed down a bit.""" text4954;"""And I couldn't even say for sure if Himitsu was vindictive.""" text4955;"""She never really resented me…""" text4956;"""Or anyone at all, really!""" text4957;"""A sweetheart, as my mother would probably say.""" text4958;"""…""" text4959;"""Himitsu would often get sick when she was little and, as a consequence, only went into first grade when I was already in second.""" text4960;"""At that time I barely knew Japanese and attended school at the embassy.""" text4961;"""I liked socializing with fellow Russians, but at the same time I felt sorry for Himitsu — she really wanted to go to the same school as me.""" text4962;"""After my classes, I would read her the books from my homework.""" text4963;"""She listened carefully and never interrupted, even though she could read much better and faster than me.""" text4964;"""And then Himitsu went to the same middle school as me.""" text4965;"""My classmates would crack jokes at me about us being together and all that…""" text4966;"""I probably wouldn't see anything wrong with that now, but at that age, the spirit of rebelliousness and contrarianism simmered in me, and I denied it as hard as I could.""" text4967;"""Which clearly upset Himitsu, but she mostly kept quiet.""" text4968;"""Surely she had an opinion of her own on the matter which was very different from mine.""" text4969;"""Time passed, our relationship slowly changed.""" text4970;"""I got used to Himitsu and, in the end, started to regard her like an inseparable part of my life, like a constant.""" text4971;"""But what did Himitsu herself think?""" text4972;"""I probably never really cared…""" text4973;"""…""" text4974;"""The two of us were passing a booth where you could shoot a pneumatic rifle at targets to earn points.""" text4975;"""Enough points would earn you a prize.""" text4976;"""Let's try it!""" text4977;"""Himitsu said with excitement.""" text4978;"""I don't really know how to shoot…""" text4979;"""Come on! Just a couple times! Look, it's not very expensive!""" text4980;"""Okay…""" text4981;"""I took the rifle (it turned out to be lighter than I expected), tried it, rested the stock against my shoulder, and aimed.""" text4982;"""To get the maximum amount of points, I had to shoot the very center of the furthest target.""" text4983;"""It seemed like the rifle's sight was looking right at it, but things couldn't be that easy, could they…?""" text4984;"""My finger trembled on the trigger. I couldn't make up my mind, endlessly shifting the barrel left and right, up and down.""" text4985;"""Niko-kun, shoot!""" text4986;"""Wait, don't jinx it!""" text4987;"""Come on! Fire!""" text4988;"""I finally got tired of it. Hit or miss, what did it matter?""" text4989;"""Bam!""" text4990;"""In my mind, the sound of the shot was supposed to be far louder than it ended up being.""" text4991;"""Oooh! Striking marksmanship, young man!""" text4992;"""The booth's owner exclaimed.""" text4993;"""What…? You mean I hit it?""" text4994;"""Well, fortune favors fools!""" text4995;"""You may choose any prize!""" text4996;"""Any at all?""" text4997;"""Of course!""" text4998;"""I looked at Himitsu, and her eyes immediately lit up with joy.""" text4999;"""I want the elephant over there!""" text5000;"""There really was a giant stuffed pink elephant on the far shelf. It was at least a meter tall and just as wide.""" text5001;"""A pink elephant, really? It's bigger than you!""" text5002;"""Hey!""" text5003;"""Alright, alright!""" text5004;"""Could you give us…""" text5005;"""I addressed the owner.""" text5006;"""The pink elephant over there?""" text5007;"""Of course!""" text5008;"""He talked in a singsong voice and generally looked pretty amusing.""" text5009;"""Here!""" text5010;"""It took Himitsu some effort, but she managed to brace the prize, almost disappearing behind the stuffed animal.""" text5011;"""Can you even see anything?""" text5012;"""I can!""" text5013;"""She said aggrievedly. It seemed like the voice was coming from the elephant itself.""" text5014;"""Oh my god, a talking elephant!""" text5015;"""I theatrically exclaimed.""" text5016;"""You won it so you carry it!""" text5017;"""Himitsu handed me the prize and strode forward with a sprightly step.""" text5018;"""Carrying the elephant was more convenient for me, sure, but it was still a sub-par experience.""" text5019;"""Truly, sometimes it's better to be club-handed!""" text5020;"""…""" text5021;"""After a weekend like that, you need to rest from all the resting!""" text5022;"""She said cheerfully, stepping out from yet another attraction.""" text5023;"""Why do you think people hate Monday mornings?""" text5024;"""Because it's the first day of the week!""" text5025;"""Not everywhere.""" text5026;"""What do you mean?""" text5027;"""Well, in some places weeks start on Sunday.""" text5028;"""That's nonsense, I don't believe it! Where?""" text5029;"""…I don't remember""" text5030;"""See, that means you made it up!""" text5031;"""I didn't make anything up, I read it in a book!""" text5032;"""A science fiction one?""" text5033;"""Maybe, yeah, why does it matter?""" text5034;"""It matters because it's not real! Maybe that was on another planet!""" text5035;"""A different planet can't have a Sunday because it has a different rotation period.""" text5036;"""What does that have to do with days of the week?""" text5037;"""Alright, I give up, you win.""" text5038;"""Ha, that's better!""" text5039;"""A pleased smile appeared on Himitsu's face.""" text5040;"""Well, let's go home?""" text5041;"""Let's go.""" text5042;"""When leaving the park, I noticed someone familiar in the crowd… Or maybe it was just my imagination.""" text5043;"""Really, what would she be doing here alone?""" text5044;"""Did something happen, Niko-kun?""" text5045;"""Huh? No, nothing.""" text5046;"""You looked like you've just seen a ghost.""" text5047;"""You think one couldn't follow us from the haunted house?""" text5048;"""I didn't want to remember what had happened there.""" text5049;"""That place is stupid, I told you!""" text5050;"""I agree.""" text5051;"""For the last hour, Himitsu has been trying her hardest to pretend nothing had happened.""" text5052;"""She almost managed to convince me of it…""" text5053;"""Let's use the subway, I'm tired.""" text5054;"""As you wish, milady!""" text5055;"""Watching Himitsu drag the pink elephant home was quite amusing. I stood there and observed until the door closed behind her.""" text5056;"""The rest of the day promised to be boring: Himitsu hadn't made lunch for her dad but definitely couldn't ignore dinner, so I was about to spend today's evening alone.""" text5057;"""But for some reason, I wasn't as upset by this fact as I could've been.""" text5058;"""After all, today wasn't all that bad!""" text5059;"""I leisurely walked through my yard, whistling some catchy tune from an anime, opened the door, and found a piece of paper under it. A note.""" text5060;"""All the worries and fears came rushing back in a single moment, and I froze in place, unable to move.""" text5061;"""It immediately felt like hundreds of eyes were watching me. Attentive, cold gazes from twilight that were piercing me down to the bone.""" text5062;"""But determination suddenly returned to me, and the silent observers disappeared as quickly as they came.""" text5063;"""I bent down and picked up the note. It was in English.""" text5064;"""\""Nikolai. I thought you wanted to talk. But I guess you didn't really. I'll be waiting for you in the bar until 8 PM. C.\""""" text5065;"""I cast a quick glance at the clock — it was a quarter to eight.""" text5066;"""The pleasant memories of the day spent with Himitsu melted away so quickly it was strange. I only had fifteen minutes, and getting to the bar would take at least twenty.""" text5067;"""That is, if I walked!""" text5068;"""I rushed through the streets, nimbly dodging people and cars.""" text5069;"""I'd never been in bad shape, but now my lungs barely seemed to fill with enough air.""" text5070;"""My vision dimmed and I almost got myself run over a couple of times.""" text5071;"""Could it really be that simple?""" text5072;"""So many times in the past year and a half I'd been telling myself that if Catherine were to return, I'd have the self respect not to come running at her first call like a little puppy.""" text5073;"""I didn't care in the slightest why exactly she came today, why she was waiting for me at the bar.""" text5074;"""The cruelest thing anyone can do to another human being is give them false hope.""" text5075;"""But at the same time, hope is intoxicating, it makes all thoughts of worry and common sense lose importance.""" text5076;"""Somewhere deep inside, I felt sorry for myself, disgusted by my own spinelessness and lack of character…""" text5077;"""But that was nothing more than the introspection of a junkie between doses.""" text5078;"""Just yesterday he had been telling himself he'd be able to kick the habit, and today all he could think of was the drug.""" text5079;"""Just recently it seemed to me that it was all over, that I would be able to let go and forget…""" text5080;"""But all I needed to slip again was the smallest thing — a tiny piece of paper folded in two.""" text5081;"""And a couple simple words.""" text5082;"""Again and again, I imagined Catherine say it:""" text5083;"""I don't particularly want to, but if you insist — we could as well talk…""" text5084;"""A favor, indifference, and at the same time — arrogance, superiority!""" text5085;"""\""The less we show our love to a woman, the easier she is to win\"", was it?""" text5086;"""I guess it worked the other way around too!""" text5087;"""…""" text5088;"""Finally, I stood at the doors of the familiar bar, greedily gasping for air and trying to catch my breath.""" text5089;"""Why would she even choose this place?""" text5090;"""I definitely couldn't show up there looking like that!""" text5091;"""I had to spruce myself up.""" text5092;"""It wasn't even about self respect, just common decency.""" text5093;"""Not to mention, this way I'd have a better chance.""" text5094;"""Large drops of sweat were running down my face, and the giant wet spot on my shirt wouldn't dry up in a minute…""" text5095;"""Could I possibly look any more pitiful?""" text5096;"""Begrudgingly, I entered.""" text5097;"""It was pretty empty inside, and the clouds of smoke usual for a Saturday evening didn't hover at the ceiling.""" text5098;"""Only several visitors were nestled in the far corner.""" text5099;"""Oi, Kolya!""" text5100;"""The Bartender called out to me, idly wiping glasses at the counter.""" text5101;"""Catherine was nowhere to be seen.""" text5102;"""What time is it?""" text5103;"""Eight.""" text5104;"""I mean exactly!""" text5105;"""It's eight… Three minutes past. Why?""" text5106;"""He asked, surprised.""" text5107;"""Nothing now.""" text5108;"""I was just three minutes late!""" text5109;"""Sure, it would be stupid to think Katya left at exactly 20:00, but even if she did, she'd need some time to get out of the bar and walk far enough.""" text5110;"""Was Catherine here?""" text5111;"""I had already caught my breath, but my voice still sounded ragged.""" text5112;"""Kolya, are you alright?""" text5113;"""Just answer the question!""" text5114;"""Well…""" text5115;"""He put the glass aside and walked closer to me.""" text5116;"""She was. Spent 20 or so minutes sitting here and then left.""" text5117;"""What?""" text5118;"""Yeah, I found it strange too.""" text5119;"""No, I mean… When was that?""" text5120;"""About three hours ago.""" text5121;"""So it was all a lie? The note, the promise to wait until eight?""" text5122;"""Although, hadn't I made the \""promise\"" up myself?""" text5123;"""Did she say anything?""" text5124;"""No.""" text5125;"""And what about you?""" text5126;"""What about me?""" text5127;"""He stared at me uncomprehendingly.""" text5128;"""Nothing, forget it.""" text5129;"""Do you want to tell me what this is all about?""" text5130;"""The Bartender poured a mug of beer and put it in front of me.""" text5131;"""On the house.""" text5132;"""Not today.""" text5133;"""I carefully moved the mug away.""" text5134;"""Shit's fucked, is it?""" text5135;"""Guess so…""" text5136;"""Somewhere deep inside I knew that the ostensible sympathy from the Bartender was nothing more than a skillful act perfected over years of work…""" text5137;"""But at the same time, now more than ever I needed support.""" text5138;"""What was this on Catherine's part?""" text5139;"""A mockery, a joke, did she just change her mind?""" text5140;"""Was it really important?""" text5141;"""I looked into the Bartender's eyes and, for some reason, smiled.""" text5142;"""I'll go.""" text5143;"""Well, alright. Take care!""" text5144;"""In the five minutes I had spent in the bar, it grew totally dark outside.""" text5145;"""The steam coming out of my mouth hinted it was time to get my winter clothes down from the loft.""" text5146;"""Maybe I should've gotten myself a drink. At least I'd be warmer.""" text5147;"""I smirked under my breath.""" text5148;"""It was that feeling when you're too tired of bearing with the pain and an internal defense mechanism activates, suppressing all emotion.""" text5149;"""And now I was absolutely sure I wouldn't be running after Catherine anymore!""" text5150;"""Moreover, I didn't know what and why even happened today.""" text5151;"""Must've been a temporary mind haze…""" text5152;"""I reached home on autopilot, thinking neither about the past day nor Katya.""" text5153;"""My windows were alight. It had to be Himitsu.""" text5154;"""I was even somewhat glad — at least with her things were simpler…""" text5155;"""I opened the door with my keys — for some reason, Himitsu had locked herself inside, which was weird.""" text5156;"""Hi!""" text5157;"""I said nonchalantly, entering the kitchen.""" text5158;"""She was sitting on a chair, her back unnaturally straight, looking at the painting on the wall.""" text5159;"""I don't even remember where it's from…""" text5160;"""Himitsu said melancholically.""" text5161;"""Mom and dad brought it along from Russia.""" text5162;"""She didn't react.""" text5163;"""Why?""" text5164;"""No reason. It's just a beautiful painting — the Russian scenery. I always wondered how it feels to be there…""" text5165;"""I thought maybe we could go there together one day, you and I. You would show me your old home, we would walk through the forests and fields — just like in this painting.""" text5166;"""We will, no reason not to…""" text5167;"""Himitsu was acting unnaturally and wasn't even trying to hide it.""" text5168;"""I don't think it'll work out. Not anymore…""" text5169;"""Why?""" text5170;"""She finally tore herself away from the painting and looked at me.""" text5171;"""Because I'll need to study.""" text5172;"""Himitsu suddenly smiled and continued:""" text5173;"""And so will you.""" text5174;"""As if I would…""" text5175;"""But there will be breaks, we can go for a trip then!""" text5176;"""Maybe… Anyway, time for dinner now!""" text5177;"""I cast a look at the painting.""" text5178;"""I honestly had no idea what was depicted on it — a place in the real world or a piece of the artist's imagination.""" text5179;"""Does it really matter if people like it?""" text5180;"""At least Himitsu did, she even wanted to go there.""" text5181;"""…""" text5182;"""When is… dinner?""" text5183;"""Himitsu wasn't herself.""" text5184;"""She didn't ask where I'd been, even though, by the looks of it, she had been waiting for me for a while…""" text5185;"""Here!""" text5186;"""Himitsu said proudly, putting a plate with baked potatoes and a steak in front of me.""" text5187;"""To what do I owe the honor?""" text5188;"""I know you like this stuff, so I just decided to make it…""" text5189;"""I do, sure, but you don't usually… I mean, you prefer healthy food.""" text5190;"""It's okay to treat yourself sometimes! You did win me the elephant today.""" text5191;"""Oh right, the elephant… The giant pink one.""" text5192;"""Where did you put it?""" text5193;"""In my room! I wanted to put it on the shelf first, but there wasn't enough space. So the corner had to do!""" text5194;"""I laughed.""" text5195;"""Hey!""" text5196;"""Don't hey me! Imagine how hard it must be for the proud African animal to live within four walls! It's used to the open savannah!""" text5197;"""Niko-kun!""" text5198;"""Himitsu smiled and started eating.""" text5199;"""For a while, I managed to forget about the note, about Catherine — I simply enjoyed my favorite meal.""" text5200;"""And I had no desire to think about Himitsu's initial weird behavior.""" text5201;"""How are things at home?""" text5202;"""Everything's fine, why?""" text5203;"""Well, you did skip lunch.""" text5204;"""It's okay sometimes — didn't you say so yourself?""" text5205;"""Why wasn't she asking where I had been?""" text5206;"""Maybe there's something else?""" text5207;"""Himitsu took a moment to think.""" text5208;"""Not really, everything's fine.""" text5209;"""Was I working myself up over nothing?""" text5210;"""Maybe she didn't notice anything?""" text5211;"""Who could know what I was off doing? Maybe I was saving the world!""" text5212;"""Okay, I guess. Any plans for tomorrow?""" text5213;"""Of course! Tomorrow's our big autumn cleanup!""" text5214;"""Huh, really? Okay then, come whenever you want.""" text5215;"""I was talking about myself, actually. We're cleaning my house.""" text5216;"""Uh, of course…""" text5217;"""I grew somewhat embarrassed.""" text5218;"""I'll… clean up too, then.""" text5219;"""Himitsu giggled.""" text5220;"""You, clean? Don't worry, I'll deal with it next week.""" text5221;"""Alright, if you say so.""" text5222;"""I suddenly felt uneasy around her.""" text5223;"""Because I was hiding a new note from Catherine and there was clearly something wrong with Himitsu.""" text5224;"""At the same time, dinner was on the table and she was smiling, which made me even more uneasy.""" text5225;"""Cleaning is a responsible task, it requires a good night's sleep! The two of us have gotten tired enough today already.""" text5226;"""I'm not tired at all.""" text5227;"""Uh, okay, what do you want to do then?""" text5228;"""What about you?""" text5229;"""Go to sleep, to be honest.""" text5230;"""Alright, let's sleep then.""" text5231;"""Didn't you say you weren't tired?""" text5232;"""Well, if that's what you want…""" text5233;"""Okay, I guess?""" text5234;"""I stood up, but Himitsu remained in place, looking at me expectantly.""" text5235;"""Worrying thoughts started to sprout up in my mind.""" text5236;"""Should I see you safely home?""" text5237;"""I'll be sleeping with you.""" text5238;"""She replied calmly.""" text5239;"""Himitsu, you're scaring me, stop that!""" text5240;"""A nervous giggle escaped my lips, and it took a titanic effort not to take a step back.""" text5241;"""Where did you go today, Niko-kun?""" text5242;"""What? To the amusement park with you, don't you remember?""" text5243;"""And after that?""" text5244;"""I was… home.""" text5245;"""I stammered out.""" text5246;"""The whole time?""" text5247;"""Y-yeah…""" text5248;"""Then where did you run off to?""" text5249;"""The calmness of Himitsu's voice as she said all that was making me feel genuinely scared.""" text5250;"""After her?""" text5251;"""After who? I didn't run after anyone…""" text5252;"""She didn't respond, just kept glaring at me.""" text5253;"""I realized it was useless to keep denying it.""" text5254;"""Were you watching me?""" text5255;"""I don't need to watch you, I know you too well!""" text5256;"""But then how…?""" text5257;"""I looked out the window and saw you find a note and then run off somewhere.""" text5258;"""So you were watching me after all!""" text5259;"""Think whatever you want.""" text5260;"""She gave a short reply and stood up from the chair.""" text5261;"""It's none of your business in the first place!""" text5262;"""Oh, that's how you talk now!""" text5263;"""Himitsu tried to appear strong, to make me understand she was really upset.""" text5264;"""Naturally, she had the best possible intentions and was doing it out of concern for me.""" text5265;"""Maybe someone else would have believed it. But not me.""" text5266;"""I didn't feel guilty, I just couldn't — not after everything that had happened.""" text5267;"""I was trapped, as if being torn apart from the inside by two opposite forces.""" text5268;"""I'm tired…""" text5269;"""I sat down on the chair next to Himitsu and let out a helpless sigh, burying my head in my hands.""" text5270;"""Leave me alone! All of you! At least for today.""" text5271;"""Niko-kun…""" text5272;"""Her voice was as cold as before, but notes of sadness could be heard in it.""" text5273;"""Niko-kun, I worry about you. You can't keep up like this! She's hurt us so much!""" text5274;"""\""Us\"" — what a truly curious choice of words!""" text5275;"""Just forget her! Is it really that hard?""" text5276;"""Of course it's hard…""" text5277;"""I whispered quietly.""" text5278;"""A couple hours ago I wanted to talk to someone, but the Bartender certainly wasn't fit for this conversation.""" text5279;"""Could Himitsu be?""" text5280;"""Previously, I'd done everything I could to make sure the thought of my relationship with Catherine never crossed her mind…""" text5281;"""Maybe even impossible…""" text5282;"""But now I'd been driven into a corner, and there wasn't anyone else nearby.""" text5283;"""I didn't want to see anyone else nearby.""" text5284;"""I can help, if you want me to.""" text5285;"""She approached and embraced me.""" text5286;"""It'll all be alright, I'm here.""" text5287;"""I hugged her back and pressed her close.""" text5288;"""I was serious. If you want it.""" text5289;"""What are you talking about?""" text5290;"""Well, the… sleeping…""" text5291;"""I couldn't see her face but was sure she blushed to the roots of her hair.""" text5292;"""Do you really think that by doing that you'd be able to replace Catherine?""" text5293;"""I don't want to replace anyone!""" text5294;"""She pushed me away slightly and took a step back.""" text5295;"""Niko-kun… It just hurts me that you've done it so many times with her… And you'd do it now! But you don't want to do it with me!""" text5296;"""Would do it now…""" text5297;"""If Catherine were in Himitsu's place now, would I be able to resist?""" text5298;"""But what did it matter?!""" text5299;"""As if sex was the only reason I fell in love with Katya!""" text5300;"""Do you really think sex is what's most important here? That it was the only reason we were together?""" text5301;"""Maybe you think that I can't love you just because we haven't done it?""" text5302;"""That's what you think about me, huh?!""" text5303;"""I couldn't stop.""" text5304;"""Her words genuinely upset me.""" text5305;"""Was it because there was some truth to them?""" text5306;"""That's not what I meant at all…""" text5307;"""Niko-kun, sorry!""" text5308;"""Himitsu burst into tears.""" text5309;"""Alright, alright, it's fine…""" text5310;"""I stood up and hugged her carefully.""" text5311;"""It just seemed like you believe sex would solve all our problems.""" text5312;"""She didn't say anything and just kept sobbing.""" text5313;"""You don't really believe that, do you?""" text5314;"""Himitsu jerked her head from side to side.""" text5315;"""That's good.""" text5316;"""Sometimes even the people closest to each other should have some time apart to think things over.""" text5317;"""And what could we even talk about in this situation?""" text5318;"""So, see you tomorrow?""" text5319;"""Cleaning…""" text5320;"""She mumbled.""" text5321;"""Fine, then see you on Monday.""" text5322;"""Himitsu said nothing and walked out of the kitchen, her eyes glued to the floor.""" text5323;"""I sunk into the chair and waited until the front door closed after her.""" text5324;"""God, things could've gone so differently!""" text5325;"""Really, why couldn't I have sex with Himitsu?""" text5326;"""Putting aside all the moralising about it having to be between two people who love each other…""" text5327;"""What if it would've solved all our problems?""" text5328;"""And what if hadn't?""" text5329;"""Then Himitsu would definitely start to hate me!""" text5330;"""And that would be something I could never forgive myself for!""" text5331;"""…""" text5332;"""Tokyo was sleeping, paying no attention to my problems.""" text5333;"""This night, the multi-million person metropolis felt absolutely lifeless. Even the street lamps seemed to have dimmed their lights, trying not to wake the sleeping inhabitants.""" text5334;"""I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling.""" text5335;"""I looked around the room a couple times. Something was wrong, out of place maybe… Or something was missing!""" text5336;"""It was hard to figure out what exactly was the matter in the dark, but after a while it dawned on me that the letter wasn't on the table.""" text5337;"""Had Himitsu taken it? Like I cared!""" text5338;"""Winter is better than summer; there's no salvation from heat, but you can escape the cold via a warm sweater and a traditional Japanese kotatsu.""" text5339;"""We would make a snowman, light up the Christmas tree lamp, eat tangerines and Russian salad.""" text5340;"""And early in the morning, we'd run to look what presents Father Frost brought us.""" text5341;"""If only things were as simple now as they were when we were little.""" text5342;"""I hadn't wanted to grow up, hadn't asked for all these problems and complications!""" text5343;"""Why did everyone else — Kyosuke, Michael, even Saya-chan — live the lives of normal teenagers, while mine resembled some kind of melodrama with elements of tragedy?""" text5344;"""How would our fates have turned out had my parents not decided to emigrate from the USSR, I wondered.""" text5345;"""They would've probably still been alive.""" text5346;"""And both Himitsu and Catherine probably would've been happier!""" text5347;"""Which meant it was all my fault…""" text5348;"""Catharsis — the redemption through suffering — was, I guess, the only thing that really helped me.""" text5349;"""I drove my flagellating introspection to its highest point, convicted myself of all the mortal sins, served as the judge, the prosecutor, and the jury, and found myself guilty.""" text5350;"""And only after that did I manage to fall asleep…""" text5351;"""That would be a waste of time.""" text5352;"""I had spent half a day yesterday looking for her, and that only resulted in a fight with Himitsu!""" text5353;"""We'd get a chance to talk the day after tomorrow anyway.""" text5354;"""Talk… about what?""" text5355;"""And what'd be the point?""" text5356;"""Oh fuck it all!""" text5357;"""I returned to my room, flopped down on the bed, and thoughtlessly stared at the ceiling.""" text5358;"""If only all this wasn't happening to me!""" text5359;"""I could be the one listening to the neighbors' domestic fight, condemning the husband, feeling sorry for the wife, thinking that the children did nothing wrong, and somewhere deep inside — feeling glad that my own family was alright.""" text5360;"""Well, I didn't have a family, didn't even have any close friends.""" text5361;"""Only myself and, well, Himitsu. Not the most cheerful company, no matter how you look at it.""" text5362;"""I grinned bitterly, and at the same moment, someone rang the doorbell.""" text5363;"""It was probably her, but why would she ring?""" text5364;"""Coming!""" text5365;"""I shouted from the kitchen.""" text5366;"""The door opened somehow particularly slowly, and my heart seemed to have frozen for a second…""" text5367;"""Catherine, in the flesh, was standing at the doorstep.""" text5368;"""We looked at each other silently.""" text5369;"""Are we just going to stand here?""" text5370;"""Well… no.""" text5371;"""I was in a sort of suspended animation. It was a situation you read about in books while thinking, \""that'd never happen to me!\""'""" text5372;"""I just froze, not knowing what to do next, not even thinking about it.""" text5373;"""Maybe you'll invite me in?""" text5374;"""Yes, of course, sorry…""" text5375;"""Not even bothering to take off her shoes, Catherine quickly headed for the kitchen.""" text5376;"""Same old.""" text5377;"""She sniffed after running an eye over my dwelling.""" text5378;"""Did you expect to see something different?""" text5379;"""I had already somewhat come to my senses but was still afraid to say something wrong, to make her angry.""" text5380;"""No, of course not.""" text5381;"""She sat down on a chair and crossed her legs.""" text5382;"""It's clean, I have to say. Do you clean for yourself?""" text5383;"""I…""" text5384;"""A stupid question, of course. For Nikola Anokhin to soil his hands!""" text5385;"""She stressed that nasty word — Nikola.""" text5386;"""She didn't like it when I called her Katya, and that was her way of getting back at me.""" text5387;"""To what do I owe the honor?""" text5388;"""I thought you'd tell me.""" text5389;"""But I wasn't the one to come to you, you came to me.""" text5390;"""So what?""" text5391;"""Catherine parried, unfazed.""" text5392;"""You wanted to talk, didn't you? So here I am — talk.""" text5393;"""Just like that?""" text5394;"""I looked closely at her and noticed that she had barely changed in the past year and a half.""" text5395;"""Grew a bit more mature, maybe, and that mostly manifested as a certain aura of self confidence.""" text5396;"""Why not?""" text5397;"""Well, I don't really know. First you avoid me in every way possible, then you turn up at my doorstep and demand a conversation.""" text5398;"""I'm not demanding anything. I can leave, if that's what you want.""" text5399;"""No, wait.""" text5400;"""About to stand up, Katya stopped and flashed a smug smile.""" text5401;"""You weren't at school yesterday…""" text5402;"""Were you worried?""" text5403;"""She asked mockingly.""" text5404;"""Oh, come on! I don't even know where you live, don't know your number.""" text5405;"""Should you?""" text5406;"""How am I even supposed to understand you?""" text5407;"""With a sigh, I sat on the chair opposite to her.""" text5408;"""You're just a… a sadist!""" text5409;"""Me?""" text5410;"""She let out a loud laugh.""" text5411;"""Count me out! It's you who's a sadist and masochist all in one.""" text5412;"""While I'm… I…""" text5413;"""She didn't finish, bit her lip, and turned away.""" text5414;"""Do you think we shouldn't have met in the first place? How many billions of people are there on the planet, what are the odds of a Russian guy and an American girl ending up in the same class of a Japanese school?""" text5415;"""Here you go with the philosophical bullshit again! Be a man for once in your life!""" text5416;"""What…?""" text5417;"""I wasn't even insulted, just surprised.""" text5418;"""Do… Do anything at all to respect you for!""" text5419;"""Her voice got louder with every word.""" text5420;"""Make a choice, a decision! Is that so hard? I managed to!""" text5421;"""And then the meaning of her words slowly started to reach me.""" text5422;"""Doesn't look like you had to put much of your own effort into it! Took a French leave and deigned to send a single meager letter!""" text5423;"""And naturally, you're blaming others! Blaming me!""" text5424;"""Even though you deemed an explanation to be below you!""" text5425;"""By all means, you should've kept hiding in that country of yours! Why'd you drag yourself over here again?""" text5426;"""And if only it was just that, but… To act like this!""" text5427;"""I was infuriated and paid exactly zero attention to the change in Catherine's expression.""" text5428;"""Were Himitsu in her place, I could confidently have said she was about to cry.""" text5429;"""But Katya pulled herself together and said, quieter now:""" text5430;"""And you're absolutely convinced everything happened exactly like you've imagined, aren't you?""" text5431;"""…""" text5432;"""Why, it is convenient — to fit the solution to the answer.""" text5433;"""What else was I supposed to think? I'm judging by the facts.""" text5434;"""But my voice no longer sounded as confident.""" text5435;"""Facts, huh?""" text5436;"""An unnatural smile appeared on her face.""" text5437;"""Facts… You think it was easy for me to come here? You think…""" text5438;"""She jerked her head down, but I managed to notice her cheek twitch.""" text5439;"""Katya… Catherine, don't.""" text5440;"""You think you're the only one who has it hard?!""" text5441;"""She suddenly jumped up from her chair and pierced me with a hateful glare.""" text5442;"""You think the world revolves around you and if you don't know something it doesn't exist?!""" text5443;"""I… I don't think anything, I just don't understand what you're talking about.""" text5444;"""You don't…""" text5445;"""She sat down again and let out a nervous laugh.""" text5446;"""Of course you don't understand! As if you could!""" text5447;"""And whispered quietly:""" text5448;"""What am I even doing here…?""" text5449;"""It felt like I was a silent witness to a Shakespearean monologue on a stage.""" text5450;"""Was this what Catherine meant when she talked about philosophical bullshit?""" text5451;"""If I could change anything…""" text5452;"""What?""" text5453;"""She asked sadly.""" text5454;"""It's not about you, is it?""" text5455;"""I don't know what's happening with you, but you're right — it's not about me. Not just about me — it's about us!""" text5456;"""There's no \""us\"" anymore…""" text5457;"""I understand.""" text5458;"""Do you? Doesn't look like it!""" text5459;"""What do you want me to do? To act as if nothing happened? \""Hi Katya, how are you doing? Me? I'm quite fine, glad to see you back!\"" Is that it?""" text5460;"""I don't want anything from you.""" text5461;"""She stood up and walked to the door.""" text5462;"""You're pretending to be a victim of circumstance. A damn near Holy Lamb! Do you really not understand, Nikolai?""" text5463;"""Catherine turned around and looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.""" text5464;"""It wasn't me who decided to leave! It was my mother, she's always decided everything for me!""" text5465;"""On the one hand, I felt terribly sorry for her. On the other, I subconsciously wanted her to feel the same pain that'd been killing me for the last year and a half.""" text5466;"""It was a nasty, repulsive desire to take revenge on the person I loved, to prove to her how much I suffered and, consequently, how much I loved her.""" text5467;"""But that's not all there is to it, right? Maybe the decision wasn't yours, but it was what you wanted?""" text5468;"""Leave.""" text5469;"""She said it quietly, but her tone was so harsh that I couldn't even find the determination to mention that this was, in fact, my house.""" text5470;"""Leave.""" text5471;"""Catherine repeated, and I slowly dragged myself to my room.""" text5472;"""Wonderful, Nikolai! Shamefully kicked out of your own kitchen, crushed and beaten, without putting up even token resistance!""" text5473;"""Is what I was thinking, pacing circles around my room.""" text5474;"""On the other hand, if Katya simply needed to be alone, why couldn't I allow her that much?""" text5475;"""In any case, the goal of her visit was still a mystery to me.""" text5476;"""She clearly felt some need to talk and sort things out, but the attempt sucked pretty badly.""" text5477;"""Sometimes, life can be much easier than one would think.""" text5478;"""Just a week ago, could I imagine Catherine just coming to my place so simply?""" text5479;"""Sure, I had been convinced I lost her forever, but even in my most desperate dreams, I couldn't imagine that the first thing we'd do after reuniting would be to get into yet another fight…""" text5480;"""It had been at least half an hour, and there still wasn't a single sound coming from the kitchen.""" text5481;"""I was tired of waiting but still couldn't bring myself to go look at what Katya was doing.""" text5482;"""What if she'd left?""" text5483;"""Finally, timid steps sounded behind the door.""" text5484;"""Can I?""" text5485;"""And a quiet knocking…""" text5486;"""Yes.""" text5487;"""Catherine stepped into my room.""" text5488;"""She looked sad and tired, but there wasn't any trace of tears left.""" text5489;"""The lady could indeed preserve her dignity in any situation.""" text5490;"""You must be thinking I'm a selfish bitch?""" text5491;"""I wouldn't go that far.""" text5492;"""Well, you have the right to.""" text5493;"""She continued, paying no attention to my words.""" text5494;"""If you only knew how hard it is for me too!""" text5495;"""I… I… I didn't want to leave, understand? I had to.""" text5496;"""I understand. But you could have at least talked to me.""" text5497;"""I couldn't.""" text5498;"""Suddenly, Katya's gaze, until then aimlessly wandering through the room, stopped on my table.""" text5499;"""Is this…""" text5500;"""She walked up to it and took the letter in her hands. It was sealed.""" text5501;"""You never read it?""" text5502;"""Couldn't bring myself to.""" text5503;"""I smiled apologetically.""" text5504;"""It's probably for the better.""" text5505;"""What's in it?""" text5506;"""I just wanted to say I'm sorry.""" text5507;"""In the same dry and impassive way? A letter in the spirit of Miss Spock, with a single line: \""Live long and prosper\""?""" text5508;"""I spread my fingers in the traditional Vulcanian greeting. Catherine laughed, then let out a sob and averted her eyes in seeming shame.""" text5509;"""Yeah, something along those lines.""" text5510;"""Can I take it?""" text5511;"""Why?""" text5512;"""I asked in surprise.""" text5513;"""Because… If you didn't read it then, you definitely don't need it now.""" text5514;"""Well, if you want it.""" text5515;"""Katya quickly folded the letter in two and put it in her pocket.""" text5516;"""She clearly didn't want me to read it.""" text5517;"""The question was: did she not want me to read it now, or at all?""" text5518;"""But what's done is done, I no longer had the letter…""" text5519;"""And there was still no escaping the conversation.""" text5520;"""You say you didn't want to… Then what happened? Why didn't you tell me anything?""" text5521;"""Catherine looked at me, and there was so much sadness in her eyes it almost made me break into tears myself.""" text5522;"""I didn't want to hurt you.""" text5523;"""She came closer and sat on the edge of the bed.""" text5524;"""As if what you did didn't hurt! You know, I sometimes don't understand what's going on in women's heads at all.""" text5525;"""In yours especially! How can you do something like this to a man you love? Did you ever love me in the first place?""" text5526;"""I was starting to get riled up again, turning the hose of anger and resentment on Katya.""" text5527;"""Of course.""" text5528;"""She said in a strident voice that left no doubt of her sincerity.""" text5529;"""Then I simply don't understand…""" text5530;"""It wasn't just about me. I mean…""" text5531;"""Who else? Your mother? Well yeah, she never liked me!""" text5532;"""Catherine didn't respond.""" text5533;"""You must know it's a bad excuse.""" text5534;"""I let out a sigh and looked out into the yard.""" text5535;"""Beyond my home's fence, the regular Tokyo life was boiling, millions of people caring not for my problems.""" text5536;"""They didn't understand me and didn't have to.""" text5537;"""But Catherine…""" text5538;"""Tell me, honestly, why did you come here?""" text5539;"""Katya persisted on keeping silent.""" text5540;"""So you can't tell the truth. Or you don't want to.""" text5541;"""Are my words not enough for you?""" text5542;"""She sobbed one last time, wiped her tears, and looked at me with confidence in her eyes.""" text5543;"""Or do you not believe me when I say I had my reasons?""" text5544;"""Not enough?""" text5545;"""I grinned and stepped closer.""" text5546;"""Would it be enough for you in my place? Would it be enough for anyone?""" text5547;"""Why wouldn't it?""" text5548;"""Why would it, Katya? Why would it?""" text5549;"""I don't know what's on your mind, but stop with your sophisticated physiological sadism already!""" text5550;"""Do you want me to leave?""" text5551;"""She asked with a strange, detached expression on her face.""" text5552;"""I… I don't know, it's up to you. I just want you to stop deriding me!""" text5553;"""Deriding, huh?""" text5554;"""Catherine moved closer and took me by the shirt, pulling on it slightly.""" text5555;"""What are you doing?""" text5556;"""I was dumbfounded but didn't move.""" text5557;"""What does it look like?""" text5558;"""The look in her eyes… I knew it too well!""" text5559;"""But what was she trying to achieve?""" text5560;"""After everything that'd happened between us? Now?""" text5561;"""I clearly understood this girl much, much less than I thought.""" text5562;"""This looks like another one of your jokes.""" text5563;"""Nobody's forcing you, you know.""" text5564;"""She pulled more strongly.""" text5565;"""And what next? It'll only get worse! I understand you don't care, you don't feel…""" text5566;"""Come here, I'll show you what I feel.""" text5567;"""All your words, your tears… All for this? Things could've been much simpler!""" text5568;"""Simpler?""" text5569;"""Catherine started up.""" text5570;"""So you like it simpler these days? With Himitsu, I guess? Do you fuck her on this bed?""" text5571;"""She stood up and threw the bed sheet onto the floor.""" text5572;"""I bet miss chastity is quite the slut in bed!""" text5573;"""Her hands nimbly managed the belt of my jeans.""" text5574;"""Do you want to do me the same way you do her?""" text5575;"""I'm capable of languid moans too, you know. Niko-kun! Not there, Niko-kun! I love you, Niko-kun.""" text5576;"""She parodied Himitsu.""" text5577;"""Katya, don't… please…""" text5578;"""The arousal was making my head spin.""" text5579;"""I knew it was wrong. I knew Catherine too well — she was doing this to hurt me.""" text5580;"""Anger, resentment, maybe even jealousy?""" text5581;"""I wasn't sure if she was entirely aware of her own actions.""" text5582;"""Oh, so I'm no longer good enough for you, is that it? You just love me but would rather sleep with her?""" text5583;"""No, no… There's nothing between us!""" text5584;"""But you'd like there to be something, wouldn't you?""" text5585;"""I wouldn't …""" text5586;"""She totally would though! And you wouldn't be able to refuse!""" text5587;"""Katya, enough…""" text5588;"""Look at me!""" text5589;"""I was afraid to raise my eyes at her.""" text5590;"""Look at me!""" text5591;"""Her cheeks were flushed, eyes glistening, breath heavy""" text5592;"""Katya, please… I… I can barely hold…""" text5593;"""After removing my jeans, Catherine started to undress, throwing her blouse off.""" text5594;"""Don't you want to?""" text5595;"""I said nothing, I simply didn't have the strength.""" text5596;"""If I were to take this step, it could ruin everything between us, forever.""" text5597;"""I carefully but firmly took her hands in mine.""" text5598;"""Of course I want to! But I can't.""" text5599;"""Fine then.""" text5600;"""Catherine immediately cooled down, moved away from me, and quickly got dressed.""" text5601;"""I just wondered how you'd react.""" text5602;"""Wondered… how I'd react? What?""" text5603;"""I was dumbfounded.""" text5604;"""What do you mean? What if I didn't stop?""" text5605;"""Well, then you wouldn't have.""" text5606;"""She shrugged her shoulders indifferently and turned away.""" text5607;"""Is this a game for you? A psychological experiment?""" text5608;"""Something like that. I was interested in how consistent you could be.""" text5609;"""Leave… Please, leave!""" text5610;"""Don't order me around! I was about to go anyway.""" text5611;"""Then leave already. I can't look at you anymore.""" text5612;"""Pff.""" text5613;"""She huffed, but then the front door in the hall opened.""" text5614;"""Niko-kun! Are you home?""" text5615;"""Go meet your guest. Or have you already…""" text5616;"""She didn't finish, just smirked.""" text5617;"""We're here.""" text5618;"""Katya suddenly shouted.""" text5619;"""A couple second later, Himitsu shyly peeked into the room.""" text5620;"""Katty-chan, hi. I just dropped by…""" text5621;"""I immediately remembered how they had been fighting just a couple days ago.""" text5622;"""Oh god, don't mind me! I'm already leaving and won't disturb the two of you. He's all yours!""" text5623;"""You aren't disturbing us at all.""" text5624;"""That's even better.""" text5625;"""…""" text5626;"""When I and Himitsu were left alone, she asked:""" text5627;"""Why did Katty-chan come?""" text5628;"""That's what I'd like to know.""" text5629;"""What do you mean?""" text5630;"""Exactly what I said. I don't want to talk about it.""" text5631;"""Niko-kun…""" text5632;"""Himitsu looked genuinely upset.""" text5633;"""Sure, she was worried about me, but I couldn't tell her everything that'd happened, now could I?""" text5634;"""She just wanted to explain why she returned.""" text5635;"""And why did she?""" text5636;"""She failed to put it into words.""" text5637;"""Niko-kun…""" text5638;"""What?! That's the truth!""" text5639;"""Yeah, it's not the best situation, but nothing tragic happened and I'm not about to put my neck in a noose!""" text5640;"""You wouldn't even tie the right knot.""" text5641;"""She laughed quietly.""" text5642;"""Me?! Of course I would! No knot can stand against me!""" text5643;"""Alright. Let's eat?""" text5644;"""Yeah, let's eat, I guess.""" text5645;"""I desperately wanted to change the topic.""" text5646;"""\""Just wanted to see how you'd react.\""""" text5647;"""What was that — a banana for a monkey performing a trick?""" text5648;"""How soon would she train me to stand on hind legs and bark on command?""" text5649;"""Although she never liked dogs, so I would have to learn to let out convincing meows…""" text5650;"""…""" text5651;"""Over lunch, I tried not to look at Himitsu.""" text5652;"""Luckily, she wasn't inclined to chatter either and even seemed happy.""" text5653;"""You know, the Japanese hospitality industry is missing out on a great chef!""" text5654;"""What? Niko-kun, no! I've already decided who I want to be.""" text5655;"""Yeah, sure, but your cooking's also great.""" text5656;"""This time I was even telling the truth — everything was, in fact, delicious.""" text5657;"""I can always cook for my husband and children.""" text5658;"""Himitsu said and looked at me, something like a plea seeming to glean in her eyes.""" text5659;"""Sure, you can.""" text5660;"""I lowered my eyes and concentrated on finishing the curry.""" text5661;"""Should we go somewhere tomorrow?""" text5662;"""Tomorrow?""" text5663;"""She thought for a moment.""" text5664;"""I felt guilty towards Himitsu, guilty of all and everything at once.""" text5665;"""No, I can't tomorrow, have to clean the house.""" text5666;"""Oh, alright then. Another time.""" text5667;"""Another time…""" text5668;"""Thanks for the meal!""" text5669;"""I stood up from the table and gathered the dishes.""" text5670;"""I'll wash them.""" text5671;"""You don't have to, I can…""" text5672;"""No way! I gotta make myself useful at least somehow.""" text5673;"""Okay.""" text5674;"""I was silently washing the dishes, while Himitsu sat motionlessly at the table, looking at me.""" text5675;"""Finally, I started to feel uneasy.""" text5676;"""What is it?""" text5677;"""Nothing, I was just daydreaming.""" text5678;"""What about?""" text5679;"""Just… School stuff.""" text5680;"""Oh, okay then…""" text5681;"""It was absolutely obvious that at the moment we were both unable to talk about the things we wanted to.""" text5682;"""But distracting ourselves with a neutral conversation wasn't working out either.""" text5683;"""By the way, about the school! I still have so much homework to do!""" text5684;"""Yeah, homework's important…""" text5685;"""I guess I'll go then?""" text5686;"""See you.""" text5687;"""…""" text5688;"""This crazy day was coming to its end.""" text5689;"""It seemed like things weren't going too badly.""" text5690;"""I hadn't made a grave mistake and everything seemed to be fine with Himitsu.""" text5691;"""Could life be starting to get better?""" text5692;"""But I still hadn't sorted out my feelings…""" text5693;"""Katya let me know today that she still cared for me.""" text5694;"""At least more than she was trying to show.""" text5695;"""Most probably, there was something I still didn't know…""" text5696;"""And what about Himitsu…? I had absolutely no idea how to act around her anymore.""" text5697;"""One day she would get tired of pretending everything was fine. Because things weren't fine for her, right?""" text5698;"""I wasn't even so sure anymore — she and Catherine had been fighting just recently, but today…""" text5699;"""Himitsu could hold herself back in my presence, but what if things weren't at all how they seemed?""" text5700;"""Suddenly I started to feel a strong headache.""" text5701;"""I went to the cupboard to look for aspirin and happened across my father's old bottle of whiskey.""" text5702;"""There wasn't really any reason to drink today.""" text5703;"""Aspirin helped a bit, but blood kept throbbing in my ears.""" text5704;"""Sometimes life gives you another chance…""" text5705;"""This day could have gone much worse!""" text5706;"""Careful, Nikolai, you've been warned! Were you to leave this situation unresolved, you'd suffer until the end of your days!""" text5707;"""I'm going totally nuts!""" text5708;"""I grinned and went to sleep.""" text5709;"""When I woke up, the clock hands were showing quarter to twelve.""" text5710;"""Apparently, I was so tired yesterday I forgot to set up the alarm.""" text5711;"""I didn't know how punctual Kagome was, but I absolutely couldn't get there late.""" text5712;"""It would be quite something if I did — to drag her into this and then not even show up.""" text5713;"""It was no less than half an hour's trip to the city center, and I needed to at least dress myself and visit the toilet before that…""" text5714;"""Five minutes later, I ran out of the house at breakneck speed.""" text5715;"""How long would Kagome wait for me? Considering her character…""" text5716;"""I ran like the wind, dodging the few people I came across on the way.""" text5717;"""The streets weren't nearly as populated on Saturday noon as they were on weekdays.""" text5718;"""I managed to somehow get into the right running pace so as to lose neither my breath nor speed.""" text5719;"""Did I dress up right? Maybe I should've put on something more formal?""" text5720;"""I definitely had a black outfit… From my parents' funeral.""" text5721;"""No, I'd look stupid in it. Everyone might be wearing suits in the business district, but I was clearly too young.""" text5722;"""And the color would be too mournful as well, a grey one would fit better for if I wanted to disguise myself as an office rat…""" text5723;"""Although, in just a few years I would probably have to merge with the indiscrete mass of these \""rats\"", running to sinking ships in the morning and scurrying to their mortgaged holes in the evening.""" text5724;"""They were all living in some kind of an economic bubble doomed to pop one day.""" text5725;"""People take loans to live better, work to pay the interest, take new loans to repay the old ones…""" text5726;"""The real value of money had long been replaced by zeroes and ones in computer memory, after having once replaced barter.""" text5727;"""The several thousand yen in my wallet wasn't actually worth anything — it hadn't been received in exchange for my labor, hadn't even been won in a lottery.""" text5728;"""It's more like, in a sense, they reflected my share of the collective wealth of Japan.""" text5729;"""But wealth itself doesn't appear out of thin air, it is created by humans.""" text5730;"""How many \""proprietors\"" like that considered themselves rulers of the world?""" text5731;"""And their numbers were getting greater by day, those convinced of their exceptionalism only because of multi-colored pieces of paper and crooked signatures on bonds.""" text5732;"""What would I think had I been born into a rich family, I wondered. Like Ellie, for example.""" text5733;"""Or the other way around, what if my life had turned out like Iwamura's?""" text5734;"""Under otherwise equal conditions and the lack of prospects, my main problem at the moment was my own self loathing, while Kagome had to clash with real, adult life every day.""" text5735;"""I doubted she had a bank account she could always take whatever money she needed from without having to work.""" text5736;"""Finally, the skyscrapers of the business district appeared up from around a corner.""" text5737;"""I quickly crossed the road, almost got hit by a car, and entered the park we'd agreed to meet in.""" text5738;"""Kagome was sitting on a bench, anxiously turning her head left and right.""" text5739;"""Hel… lo… Sor… ry…. that… I'm… late!""" text5740;"""I was panting, unable to talk properly.""" text5741;"""Forty minutes!""" text5742;"""She pointed her finger at the clock.""" text5743;"""Being late is five, ten minutes! By forty, it's like you didn't come at all.""" text5744;"""I looked at the time — it really was 12:40…""" text5745;"""I was sure I was a better runner.""" text5746;"""But you're still here.""" text5747;"""And what if I'd left?""" text5748;"""But you didn't.""" text5749;"""Yeah, because I knew you wouldn't manage to get here on time.""" text5750;"""Why's that?""" text5751;"""She didn't respond, just waved her hand at the clock once again.""" text5752;"""Alright, fine… But it was an accident! Usually I…""" text5753;"""Usually I what? Skip school, sleep until 3 PM after a drinking spree, and can't remember what I had talked to Himitsu about?""" text5754;"""Well, maybe I had gotten somewhere on time on a couple occasions in the last couple years, what of it?""" text5755;"""Just, sorry.""" text5756;"""Kagome looked at me from under her brows and smirked.""" text5757;"""Listen, enough already! Are we going to keep arguing over who's to blame or are we going to do something useful?""" text5758;"""So what's your plan?""" text5759;"""Plan? I thought you had one…""" text5760;"""We stood in the middle of the park, expensive cars driven by people in expensive suits sweeping past us.""" text5761;"""The suits were infallibly all grey.""" text5762;"""Here we go…""" text5763;"""I said in Russian and slowly sank down to the bench next to Kagome.""" text5764;"""Weren't you following me yesterday, and didn't you make me come here?""" text5765;"""Wait a minute! It was your idea!""" text5766;"""Yes, but… It doesn't matter! The initiative was yours!""" text5767;"""Right, and no initiative goes unpunished.""" text5768;"""For starters, let's calm down. What do we know?""" text5769;"""I'm being threatened by some people, probably because my father used to work for Kobayashi Corporation.""" text5770;"""Your father also used to work for Kobayashi Corporation, and yesterday he was kidnapped.""" text5771;"""Moreover, here, in front of us, is the main office of Kobayashi Corporation…""" text5772;"""I let out a thoughtful sniff.""" text5773;"""Then that's where we'll go!""" text5774;"""Yeah, and then what? Think about it: two high school kids show up in the office of Japan's largest corporation and start to, haltingly, read out the synopsis of a shitty mystery novel.""" text5775;"""We'd be lucky to just get kicked out…""" text5776;"""I've no intention of just sitting here! You can do whatever you want.""" text5777;"""Kagome jerked herself up from the bench and, paying no attention to me, rapidly marched toward the Kobayashi Corporation building.""" text5778;"""Hey, wait!""" text5779;"""Having no other choice, I ran after her.""" text5780;"""…""" text5781;"""The insides of the building looked even more luxurious than I could imagine.""" text5782;"""The main hall's ceiling had the height of a four-storey building. The abundance of light and glass, the reception seemingly the length of a football field… I felt pretty uncomfortable here.""" text5783;"""I couldn't take my eyes off of the numbers changing each other on the elevator's indicator panel. 19, 20, 21…""" text5784;"""Was it going to pass one hundred?""" text5785;"""Was all of this really going to belong to Ellie one day?""" text5786;"""The leather-bound girl bouncing around the stage with a guitar in her hands didn't seem to fit the role of the heir to a multi-million dollar corporation!""" text5787;"""Hey!""" text5788;"""Kagome jerked me by my sleeve.""" text5789;"""Yeah, sorry, couldn't get my eyes off all this… Never seen anything like that, even on TV!""" text5790;"""Me neither. But that's not what we're here for.""" text5791;"""She resolutely headed to the girl with an unnatural smile on her face sitting behind the reception desk.""" text5792;"""I caught up and stood in her way.""" text5793;"""What are you even doing?! It's true that we need to learn the truth, figure things out… But not like that!""" text5794;"""You look like a terrorist right now! They'll just call the police and that'll be the end of it!""" text5795;"""But Kagome wasn't about to back down. In her eyes I could see a determination completely unexpected from a girl her age.""" text5796;"""Get out of the way!""" text5797;"""Whatever…""" text5798;"""I let out a sigh. In for a penny, in for a pound.""" text5799;"""The uniform of the receptionist resembled a stewardess', while the girl herself hardly looked Japanese.""" text5800;"""Hello! Welcome to Kobayashi Corporation! How can I help?""" text5801;"""She jabbered out her memorized line in English.""" text5802;"""I… We…""" text5803;"""Kagome's confidence faltered at the most important moment, and after approaching the desk, she started to hesitate and stammer.""" text5804;"""My name is Iwamura Kagome… and I… we…""" text5805;"""She looked at me, as if looking for support.""" text5806;"""This whole affair had seemed like a stupid idea to me from the very beginning, but Kagome's pitiful eyes compelled me to act.""" text5807;"""I was too easy to manipulate with guilt…""" text5808;"""Hello, we'd like to talk… I mean…""" text5809;"""I wasn't doing any better; I had to pull myself together.""" text5810;"""Taking a deep breath, I started from the beginning:""" text5811;"""You see, her father used to work here, and he's been missing since yesterday. Maybe you could help us? We're looking for the contact information of his former colleagues or superiors. Anything?""" text5812;"""We cannot provide such information.""" text5813;"""The girl answered after a short pause, her smile much less cordial.""" text5814;"""Of course, we understand, but it's important.""" text5815;"""She wasn't responding.""" text5816;"""Listen, it's not a commercial secret or anything…""" text5817;"""I'm sorry, we cannot…""" text5818;"""Make it so you can!""" text5819;"""Kagome shouted, hitting the desk with a clenched fist.""" text5820;"""It looked like she just needed a little push, and that's what I gave her by starting the conversation.""" text5821;"""Your people took him yesterday! In the middle of the day, for everyone to see!""" text5822;"""If you don't know, find someone who does!""" text5823;"""Miss, please, mind your voice…""" text5824;"""The girl looked scared.""" text5825;"""Quiet, you!""" text5826;"""I whispered to Kagome.""" text5827;"""Now we totally looked like a couple of Tokyo thugs!""" text5828;"""I won't move from here until you give my father back!""" text5829;"""She lowered her voice slightly, while the girl was making a call to someone.""" text5830;"""Well, happy now? She's probably calling the police!""" text5831;"""So what? I'm not breaking any laws, and I know my civil rights.""" text5832;"""Uh huh, rights, sure… Violent madwomen don't have any.""" text5833;"""Please wait on the sofa, a staff member will be down to see you shortly.""" text5834;"""The girl said in a shaking voice.""" text5835;"""See! The truth has triumphed!""" text5836;"""Kagome proclaimed victoriously.""" text5837;"""For some reason, I didn't share her confidence.""" text5838;"""Five minutes later, a man came out of an elevator and headed toward us.""" text5839;"""His clothes were hardly different from those of any other employee at Kobayashi Corporation, but the cold, hard eyes and the stern expression on his face made it clear he certainly wasn't an accountant.""" text5840;"""Good day. My name is Kagemaru.""" text5841;"""I gave a slight nod.""" text5842;"""Anokhin-san, you have been asked to come upstairs for a conversation.""" text5843;"""What? Me? What do I have to do with any of this?""" text5844;"""Yeah! He has nothing to do with this! It's my father who's been kidnapped!""" text5845;"""Kagome flared up, having previously sat silently with a deadpan expression.""" text5846;"""Please calm down, Iwamura-san, your father has not been kidnapped. If you wait here…""" text5847;"""I'm not going to wait anywhere! I'm going with him!""" text5848;"""She jumped up from the sofa and stomped her foot.""" text5849;"""You have not been invited, Iwamura-san.""" text5850;"""So what? It's about my father!""" text5851;"""Really now, why would it be me?""" text5852;"""It looked like my suspicions about my parents' work weren't unfounded.""" text5853;"""And I was no less involved in whatever was happening than Kagome.""" text5854;"""Wait.""" text5855;"""I lightly touched her shoulder with my hand.""" text5856;"""We've been seen by dozens of people here. What, are they going to lead me into a cell in the middle of the day and shoot me dead? That would be too much, even for Kobayashi!""" text5857;"""I'll go, lead the way.""" text5858;"""But…""" text5859;"""Don't worry, I'll learn all I can. And come back.""" text5860;"""I leaned down to Kagome and whispered into her ear:""" text5861;"""They aren't giving us any other options anyway, so stop arguing! Otherwise, we won't learn anything at all.""" text5862;"""Kagome gave me an angry look but apparently decided there was nothing she could do. She turned around and said:""" text5863;"""Do what you want!""" text5864;"""…""" text5865;"""The elevator's ascent seemed endless.""" text5866;"""Unobtrusive music played inside, and I eyed the glowing button with \""Penthouse\"" written on it, my head empty like a Buddhist monk in meditation.""" text5867;"""Kagemaru stood motionless, staring ahead of himself.""" text5868;"""Were this a \""guess his profession\"" quiz, I would've answered hitman without a second thought and probably won the jackpot.""" text5869;"""The elevator finally stopped, the doors opened, and we appeared in a spacious room with a panoramic view of Tokyo.""" text5870;"""At the window, his back turned to me, stood an old man in a kimono — most likely Kobayashi Jun, Ellie's grandfather.""" text5871;"""He seemed to not have noticed us, occupied with the city sprawled far below.""" text5872;"""Did he really not notice or did he just think us unworthy of his attention?""" text5873;"""As far as I knew, he'd created his empire from nothing.""" text5874;"""I wondered if he, while still a boy, imagined that many years later he'd observe his domain from a hundred floors up.""" text5875;"""Hundreds of meters, kilometers, millions of dollars, billions of yen — he was separated from the common people by the same abyss that once separated farmers from their gods.""" text5876;"""But why me? To what did I owe the honor?""" text5877;"""Kobayashi-sama!""" text5878;"""Kagemaru bowed deeply.""" text5879;"""You may go.""" text5880;"""The old man slowly turned around and ran a disinterested eye over me.""" text5881;"""Meanwhile, Kagemaru disappeared behind a door.""" text5882;"""Is your name Nikolai?""" text5883;"""Yes, Kobayashi-san… -sama…""" text5884;"""He ignored my confusion, and I felt disgusted about my hesitation.""" text5885;"""Maybe I truly stood before the all-powerful Kobayashi Jun, but for me, really, he was just an old man, Ellie's grandfather at best.""" text5886;"""I tried to calm down.""" text5887;"""Your father worked hard for the good of our company…""" text5888;"""Did you know him?""" text5889;"""Not personally, but I value each employee's contribution to the common cause.""" text5890;"""Empty words and nothing else. Another way to make people work themselves to death.""" text5891;"""Ideals have long been known to be better motivators than money.""" text5892;"""He walked up to the table and sank heavily into the armchair, gesturing for me to sit opposite him.""" text5893;"""Why am I here…?""" text5894;"""It was brought to my attention that Iwamura-san's father has come into some trouble…""" text5895;"""\""Trouble\""? Is that what it's called nowadays?""" text5896;"""And as the two of you have come here together, I thought it would be easier to explain things to you alone.""" text5897;"""It was as if he knew about Kagome's somewhat headstrong personality.""" text5898;"""I'm listening.""" text5899;"""What else was there to do?""" text5900;"""As you might know, Akira-san used to work for our company, but was fired.""" text5901;"""I nodded.""" text5902;"""You see, he took with him important information that does not belong to him.""" text5903;"""We wish to have our property back and thus had to invite Akira-san for a private conversation.""" text5904;"""\""Trouble\"", \""private conversation\""…""" text5905;"""All these euphemisms were making me feel uncomfortable.""" text5906;"""But do not worry: neither Iwamura-san nor her grandfather are related to this unfortunate incident in any way.""" text5907;"""But… you'll let him go when he… gives everything back?""" text5908;"""I asked sheepishly.""" text5909;"""Of course! Have no doubt!""" text5910;"""A semblance of a smile appeared on Kobayashi-san's face.""" text5911;"""And what if…""" text5912;"""I couldn't finish the question.""" text5913;"""He seemed to be playing with me like a tiger with his prey.""" text5914;"""Lulling me with his calm and polite manners, just to tear me apart the next second.""" text5915;"""Do you understand the importance of keeping quiet about this?""" text5916;"""Yes, of course…""" text5917;"""It's even more important to make sure Iwamura-san behaves properly and calmly awaits her father's return.""" text5918;"""Yes, I understand.""" text5919;"""His passionless face and flat voice were much scarier than Kagemaru's hidden aggression.""" text5920;"""There were thousands of thugs like him, but they only had one master!""" text5921;"""Of course you do, my boy!""" text5922;"""This time, Kobayashi-san's smile was real.""" text5923;"""If I'm not mistaken, you study at the same school as my granddaughter, Elizabeth?""" text5924;"""Elizabeth?! In a different situation, I would've found this funny.""" text5925;"""Yes…""" text5926;"""Do you know each other?""" text5927;"""Not that well… We've met.""" text5928;"""Splendid.""" text5929;"""Splendid? What could be splendid about it?""" text5930;"""I hope our insurance for your parents' death is enough to cover your expenses?""" text5931;"""Insurance? So that's where the money in father's account came from!""" text5932;"""I always suspected he couldn't have earned so much himself but was afraid to acknowledge it.""" text5933;"""Yes, of course, thank you…""" text5934;"""What a terrible tragedy… No money could compensate for such a loss!""" text5935;"""Why did he drag my parents into this?""" text5936;"""The note, the calls… now I was convinced it was all the work of Kobayashi Corporation and its head — Kobayashi Jun.""" text5937;"""But it's not like an antelope can demand recognition of its rights from a lion — all it can do is run.""" text5938;"""I try to live on.""" text5939;"""That's right, that's right… You still have your whole life ahead of you! The most important thing is to keep yourself from making too many mistakes while you're young.""" text5940;"""…""" text5941;"""Now go, go.""" text5942;"""He smiled once again and called Kagemaru.""" text5943;"""…""" text5944;"""We were going down, and the damned elevator song started to get on my nerves.""" text5945;"""I shifted from foot to foot.""" text5946;"""Did you understand everything Kobayashi-sama said?""" text5947;"""Of course. Would be hard not to.""" text5948;"""I snarled.""" text5949;"""After the conversation with the old man, Kagemaru didn't scare me in the slightest.""" text5950;"""That's how it should be. And explain it to your girlfriend! We'll see that you do.""" text5951;"""I cast an angry glance at him — he was almost a head shorter than me and even looked comical with that yakuza grin on his face and the tattoos visible under the collar of his shirt.""" text5952;"""The elevator arrived at the first floor, the doors opened, and I saw Kagome sitting right where I had left her.""" text5953;"""I didn't know if I should tell her what we had talked about with Kobayashi-san.""" text5954;"""I was just afraid it could all turn out to be true.""" text5955;"""For Kagome, her family took first priority. How would she take the news of her father being a spy, basically a thief?""" text5956;"""I didn't even know his true motives.""" text5957;"""And even if it were to turn out he was innocent, if he'd been taken for an entirely different reason, what of it?""" text5958;"""How could she… How could we help him?""" text5959;"""Going to the police would be useless — we'd already tried that.""" text5960;"""Going to the police would be useless.""" text5961;"""But I had absolutely no desire to lie to this sincere, albeit a bit too straightforward, girl.""" text5962;"""What would I have done had my parents' fate been hidden away from me?""" text5963;"""Come on!""" text5964;"""Kagemaru slightly pushed me in the back.""" text5965;"""I clenched my fists so hard they hurt but left the elevator without looking back.""" text5966;"""I had a decision to make — a decision important both for me and Kagome.""" text5967;"""Meanwhile, she stood up and quickly walked to me.""" text5968;"""Well, here I am.""" text5969;"""My voice didn't sound half as friendly as I wanted.""" text5970;"""I was starting to think you wouldn't be coming back.""" text5971;"""Kagome sarcastically flung her hands up.""" text5972;"""As if I'd be able to escape from you!""" text5973;"""Well, how did it go? Tell me!""" text5974;"""I hadn't really decided what I was about to say, but standing silent wasn't an option either.""" text5975;"""Tell the truth""" text5976;"""Lie""" text5977;"""You better sit down.""" text5978;"""In the end, Kagome deserved to know the truth.""" text5979;"""Why?""" text5980;"""She asked angrily but took a seat.""" text5981;"""I met Kobayashi Jun.""" text5982;"""Kagome was clearly surprised, and I immediately answered her unasked question:""" text5983;"""Yeah, that one.""" text5984;"""And he said… how do I even put it… Just don't worry!""" text5985;"""He said your father stole some secret information.""" text5986;"""And you believed him?""" text5987;"""She asked coldly.""" text5988;"""What does it matter if I did or didn't! I don't know the entire situation.""" text5989;"""Then believe me: my father would never do something like that! His work meant everything to him!""" text5990;"""Not the best argument, to be honest…""" text5991;"""And why are they accusing my father a year and a half later?""" text5992;"""Wait a second. A year and a half?""" text5993;"""Yeah, that's when he was fired.""" text5994;"""My parents died a year and a half ago too! That can't be a coincidence.""" text5995;"""So you believe me?""" text5996;"""It was as if she absolutely needed me to believe her.""" text5997;"""I don't even trust myself anymore.""" text5998;"""Just a week ago, my life was clear and simple, and what now?""" text5999;"""At least your father is alive… I'm sure he is!""" text6000;"""Although Kagome didn't react to the double meaning of my words in any way.""" text6001;"""Also, what do they need from me? Why did the director of Kobayashi Corporation himself have an audience with me? Doesn't it all seem strange to you?""" text6002;"""I guess…""" text6003;"""She frowned.""" text6004;"""Nothing to tell really.""" text6005;"""Why hurt her even more?!""" text6006;"""If what Kobayashi-san said was true, Kagome would find out everything sooner or later anyway.""" text6007;"""I didn't want to be the messenger.""" text6008;"""Besides, she was impulsive, and the old man had clearly let me know what could happen if we were to talk.""" text6009;"""In this case, I was just protecting Kagome!""" text6010;"""I spoke with Kobayashi Jun. Yeah, yeah, that one. He said he's very sorry about your father's disappearance but he has nothing to do with it.""" text6011;"""You're lying!""" text6012;"""Kagome said confidently.""" text6013;"""No I'm not! Why would I, think about it.""" text6014;"""So, the director of the Kobayashi Corporation himself called for you just to say he doesn't know anything?""" text6015;"""That's what you should be asking him about!""" text6016;"""I snapped back.""" text6017;"""Yeah, my lie didn't sound very believable.""" text6018;"""And I will!""" text6019;"""She seemed to be ready to fight her way to the penthouse.""" text6020;"""Wait a damn minute!""" text6021;"""I grabbed her hand and almost threw her back onto the sofa.""" text6022;"""Don't you understand?! They may be lying, but who are we and what's Kobayashi Corp?!""" text6023;"""A single glance out of the windows of that office was enough for me to realize we're just ants to them!""" text6024;"""Would you feel sorry about crushing an ant? I think you wouldn't even notice!""" text6025;"""Kagome bit her lip, lowered her head, and crossed her arms over her chest — it would be hard to imagine a more defensive pose.""" text6026;"""We need to be smart about this!""" text6027;"""And what do you suggest?""" text6028;"""I'm at least sure they have a certain interest in us, otherwise they wouldn't even have had this talk.""" text6029;"""Yeah, I guess…""" text6030;"""She seemed to have calmed down a bit and was starting to see the situation without the haze of emotion.""" text6031;"""But I can't just sit and wait!""" text6032;"""To me, that seemed like the best course of action.""" text6033;"""But to say something like that to Kagome directly would mean another tantrum from her.""" text6034;"""And we won't!""" text6035;"""Again, what do you suggest?""" text6036;"""I…""" text6037;"""I hadn't really thought about that.""" text6038;"""And by the way, who was that man? His name was… Kagemaru!""" text6039;"""I don't know… But it seems like he's not used to solving problems with words.""" text6040;"""And don't you think it's weird that the Corporation is so interested in you?""" text6041;"""Of course it is! And I'd really like to know why.""" text6042;"""Ahh, I should've come with you, I would've given that old man hell!""" text6043;"""For the first time today, she genuinely smiled.""" text6044;"""You think you'd scare him? He's got one of his own — Ellie from our school.""" text6045;"""Kagome let out a contemptuous sniff.""" text6046;"""What can she do? She's been fussed over and pampered like a child her entire life. She probably can't even cook.""" text6047;"""Well, maybe she can't.""" text6048;"""I was sure she had an army of chefs for that.""" text6049;"""What if she's good at something else?""" text6050;"""Like what?""" text6051;"""I don't know… music?""" text6052;"""I answered ambiguously.""" text6053;"""I see you know her well.""" text6054;"""I don't know her at all! And she's got nothing to do with it anyway!""" text6055;"""Why so hasty? If something happened to the director's precious granddaughter, I'm sure he'd sing a very different tune.""" text6056;"""Come on, let's be constructive.""" text6057;"""Let's.""" text6058;"""She lazily sprawled back on the sofa, her legs crossed.""" text6059;"""I need to talk to my father's colleague, the one I told you about yesterday. I'm almost sure he knows more than he told me.""" text6060;"""Don't you think he might be part of the conspiracy?""" text6061;"""Oh stop it already! Who'd find us important enough to scheme around? Yeah, there's something strange going on, but we're just a small part of it.""" text6062;"""You just don't know what my father was working on…""" text6063;"""Kagome said quietly.""" text6064;"""And what was it?""" text6065;"""I can't say.""" text6066;"""So you don't trust me?""" text6067;"""Same as you, I don't even trust myself anymore.""" text6068;"""She smiled sadly.""" text6069;"""I just don't understand much about it myself.""" text6070;"""Then we should figure things out together! Let's go!""" text6071;"""I stretched my hand out to Kagome.""" text6072;"""Go where?""" text6073;"""To my place.""" text6074;"""What?""" text6075;"""She looked surprised, even embarrassed.""" text6076;"""Can't we call from a phone booth?""" text6077;"""You think I remember all phone numbers by heart? I don't have that great a head for numbers in the first place.""" text6078;"""Fine, just…""" text6079;"""Her eyes darted back and forth across the hall as if looking for support.""" text6080;"""Just what?""" text6081;"""Nothing! Let's go, it going to get dark soon.""" text6082;"""I noted in my mind that it was only half past two but decided not to argue.""" text6083;"""How far do you live? I need to be home for dinner.""" text6084;"""Well… running here took me about half an hour, or a bit over that.""" text6085;"""I smiled broadly, and she made a surprised face.""" text6086;"""Running?""" text6087;"""You bet!""" text6088;"""You wouldn't have to run if you timed things properly!""" text6089;"""You know what!""" text6090;"""Well she probably didn't.""" text6091;"""We can use the subway. It'll take about the same time-wise though.""" text6092;"""Well, I'm certainly not going to run.""" text6093;"""We were already about to leave when Kagemaru approached us.""" text6094;"""Wait. Aren't you forgetting something?""" text6095;"""I don't think so…""" text6096;"""Kobayashi-sama wants to help Iwamura-san find her father. We will now go to the police, and you will tell everything to the detectives.""" text6097;"""What? We aren't…""" text6098;"""This is not a request.""" text6099;"""He looked at me formidably from under his brows.""" text6100;"""I exchanged glances with Kagome, and the two of us followed him.""" text6101;"""…""" text6102;"""We were questioned for at least several hours, our testimonies were carefully documented, and then we were let go.""" text6103;"""Kagemaru drove us right to Kobayashi Corporation's office and opened the car's doors at the main entrance.""" text6104;"""Asshole!""" text6105;"""Kagome shouted after him and gave him the middle finger.""" text6106;"""Quiet, you! Do you want to go back to the police station?""" text6107;"""What was this performance all about in the first place? They know where my father is!""" text6108;"""To scare us, I think. In case the old man's hints weren't enough.""" text6109;"""It worked…""" text6110;"""Kagome shivered.""" text6111;"""I've never been to a police station before.""" text6112;"""First time for everything. Let's go now, we've already lost enough time.""" text6113;"""She looked at the clock.""" text6114;"""It's so late already! I won't get back in time…""" text6115;"""Oh come on! What's more important, dinner or your father?""" text6116;"""I can't leave grandpa alone, he's got nobody else left.""" text6117;"""I was seized by an inquisitive urge and found it hard to just stop.""" text6118;"""It's your decision… I'm not the only one who needs this.""" text6119;"""Kagome gave me a piteous look.""" text6120;"""Do you think I'll be able to get home before it gets dark?""" text6121;"""I don't know.""" text6122;"""I answered honestly.""" text6123;"""Fine, let's go…""" text6124;"""The decision clearly didn't come easy to her.""" text6125;"""Some local employee, I guess…""" text6126;"""Who came down for you just to lead you to meet the director of this whole Corporation?""" text6127;"""Kagome thoughtfully uttered.""" text6128;"""So it seems.""" text6129;"""Don't you find this kinda strange?""" text6130;"""Of course I do, but…""" text6131;"""You're lying!""" text6132;"""She hissed through clenched teeth.""" text6133;"""Do you think I'm some kind of spy?""" text6134;"""Iwamura looked at me with an unabashed hatred.""" text6135;"""Oh come on already, Kagome! The world doesn't revolve around you and your family! Do you think I don't have problems of my own?""" text6136;"""Just a minute ago, I'd been ashamed of my lies, but now I was genuinely angry with her.""" text6137;"""Why the hell would I drag myself along with you in the first place? You're of zero use, even less than that!""" text6138;"""I'm surprised we're not in prison!""" text6139;"""She tried to say something, but I continued:""" text6140;"""I've had enough of you! If you don't want my help, then dig yourself out of this alone!""" text6141;"""Do you call lying help?""" text6142;"""What would I gain from it, tell me? What reason do I have to lie?""" text6143;"""\""I'm only doing this for your sake, idiot!\""""" text6144;"""You know what, even if I knew anything, I wouldn't have told you! You and your attitude would jeopardize you and me both!""" text6145;"""Yeah, you're just scared for yourself!""" text6146;"""Kagome smirked.""" text6147;"""What…?""" text6148;"""Cause you've got no one else!""" text6149;"""How da—""" text6150;"""I physically felt the veins on my temples bulge.""" text6151;"""How dare you!""" text6152;"""My hands started to shake, and she noticed.""" text6153;"""Well, do it! Come on! Hit me! Punch me properly!""" text6154;"""Her lips trembled.""" text6155;"""After all, I'm such a selfish bitch! I only think about myself by trying to find my father!""" text6156;"""Tears rolled down her cheeks.""" text6157;"""I didn't mean anything like that…""" text6158;"""The long hair covered her face, and only an occasional quiver of her shoulders indicated that she was crying.""" text6159;"""I'll go…""" text6160;"""Kagome whispered, barely audible, and ran toward the exit.""" text6161;"""I didn't stop her.""" text6162;"""Did I feel guilty?""" text6163;"""Of course!""" text6164;"""But I just didn't expect a reaction like that.""" text6165;"""I had already started to believe nothing could bring that girl to tears, and then that happened…""" text6166;"""And how would I have acted in her place?""" text6167;"""If I were told my parents didn't die, that they just kind of didn't exist?""" text6168;"""Would I be thinking about the feelings of others or trying to get to the truth by any means available?""" text6169;"""It was hard to admit, but Kagome was right — I was only worried about myself.""" text6170;"""If only because I had no one else to worry about…""" text6171;"""I let out a sigh and headed for the exit.""" text6172;"""Evening was drawing near.""" text6173;"""We left the subway when the sun had already started to disappear behind the roofs of the local houses.""" text6174;"""Kagome looked around in surprise and asked:""" text6175;"""But this is the station near our school.""" text6176;"""Yeah. Something wrong?""" text6177;"""So you live here?""" text6178;"""Well yeah, for almost as long as I can remember in Japan.""" text6179;"""I see…""" text6180;"""Why?""" text6181;"""Nothing, go already, time's ticking!""" text6182;"""She snarled.""" text6183;"""…""" text6184;"""Here we are!""" text6185;"""Kagome carefully looked around my street, the yard, and, finally, the house itself.""" text6186;"""You don't have it that bad. Quite the mansion, and in the city centre, too.""" text6187;"""You understand it's not on my own merits, right?""" text6188;"""Does it make a difference?""" text6189;"""God, no, none at all, why do you have to pick at every single word you hear?""" text6190;"""Who lives there?""" text6191;"""Kagome suddenly asked, pointing at Himitsu's house.""" text6192;"""There…? Why do you ask?""" text6193;"""You were constantly throwing glances in that direction while we walked.""" text6194;"""Listen, maybe it's you who's spying on me? You're good at it.""" text6195;"""You always have to keep your eyes peeled. What if the Corporation's henchmen are watching you from there?""" text6196;"""No one's watching me from there, it's Himitsu's house.""" text6197;"""The redhead from school?""" text6198;"""Yes. Now go!""" text6199;"""I opened the door with my key and quickly stepped inside, while Kagome remained standing at the doorstep.""" text6200;"""Well?""" text6201;"""Maybe I'll wait here…?""" text6202;"""Drop it already!""" text6203;"""I've just never been… you know… to a guy's house.""" text6204;"""God fucking dammit…""" text6205;"""I growled through clenched teeth, turning away so she wouldn't hear me.""" text6206;"""If I wanted to rape someone, you'd be last on the list of potential candidates.""" text6207;"""Why thank you!""" text6208;"""Kagome responded in a rude voice and pushed me aside, entering the house.""" text6209;"""…""" text6210;"""Do you want something to drink? Water, tea, maybe whiskey?""" text6211;"""Water, please.""" text6212;"""She answered quietly.""" text6213;"""With a gesture, I offered her to sit behind the table.""" text6214;"""Is there nobody else here?""" text6215;"""Who else would there be? My parents died a year and a half ago, didn't I tell you?""" text6216;"""You did…""" text6217;"""The awkward pause lingered in the air.""" text6218;"""So it's just the two of us now?""" text6219;"""As you can see.""" text6220;"""She noticeably fidgeted in the chair.""" text6221;"""Well, are you going to call?""" text6222;"""I put a glass of water in front of her.""" text6223;"""Of course I will, but let me at least catch my breath a bit.""" text6224;"""Kagome's expression saddened and she didn't even snap back.""" text6225;"""This whole situation seemed to be really stressing her out.""" text6226;"""Alright, sorry…""" text6227;"""I dragged the telephone from the hallway and started flipping through the telephone book.""" text6228;"""This person's name is Ichinose-san. I saw him a couple times when I was younger but I can't say anything specific.""" text6229;"""Ichinose, you say?""" text6230;"""Kagome looked thoughtful.""" text6231;"""I think I've heard that surname somewhere before.""" text6232;"""That's not really surprising, our fathers both worked for the Corporation.""" text6233;"""What was your dad's job?""" text6234;"""He was a chemist. Worked on alternative sources of energy.""" text6235;"""Interesting… Well, my father was an engineer. But I don't really know what Ichinose-san's position was.""" text6236;"""Sit closer, you'll listen in too.""" text6237;"""Kagome hesitated for a second but ended up moving her chair and bringing her ear so close to the receiver that we were touching cheeks.""" text6238;"""Phones with speakers haven't been invented yet, so bear with me…""" text6239;"""I said apologetically.""" text6240;"""A long note sounded, then the second, and another one, but nobody was answering.""" text6241;"""Finally, a frightened female voice came from the other end of the line:""" text6242;"""Hello…""" text6243;"""Good aft… evening! May I talk to Ichinose-san?""" text6244;"""Ichinose-san…""" text6245;"""The woman drew the name out painfully.""" text6246;"""He hasn't been home for two days. Do you know where he is? Who is this?""" text6247;"""I didn't respond, just looked at Kagome.""" text6248;"""She put a finger to her lips and shook her head.""" text6249;"""Hello! Do you know where my husband is? Give him back!""" text6250;"""I hung up the phone.""" text6251;"""We were sitting in silence for at least several minutes.""" text6252;"""So what do we do now?""" text6253;"""How would I know…?""" text6254;"""Was this Ichinose-san your last hope?""" text6255;"""There's always hope!""" text6256;"""My words obviously didn't reassure Kagome much.""" text6257;"""But, yeah, I was counting on him. How did they even know?""" text6258;"""Maybe they tapped his phone?""" text6259;"""Or yours.""" text6260;"""Tapping my phone conversations would bring about as many results as the SETI project.""" text6261;"""I grinned sadly.""" text6262;"""The Corporation is damn good at covering its tracks though. But then why are we still…""" text6263;"""Don't think about it!""" text6264;"""But…""" text6265;"""Just don't! We're fine, and we'll keep being fine!""" text6266;"""Who was I trying to calm down more, her or myself?""" text6267;"""Sorry…""" text6268;"""Kagome looked me right in the eye.""" text6269;"""I don't usually act like this. And I'm usually not that emotional and… well, quick-tempered.""" text6270;"""I just don't have anyone besides my father and granddad. When mom died, it seemed like my life was over. I don't want to go through it again.""" text6271;"""It's alright, I understand…""" text6272;"""I really didn't expect her to start apologizing.""" text6273;"""I immediately felt uncomfortable — once again I noted that out of the two of us, Kagome had it worse.""" text6274;"""I'll help you to find your father!""" text6275;"""Thank you.""" text6276;"""She smiled genuinely.""" text6277;"""Niko-kun, are you home?""" text6278;"""Himitsu's voice sounded from the outside.""" text6279;"""Kagome gave me a questioning look.""" text6280;"""It's okay, I'll be right back.""" text6281;"""I should go already…""" text6282;"""Wait just a minute!""" text6283;"""She gave a slight nod.""" text6284;"""I ran into the hallway and blocked Himitsu's path, preventing her from going further.""" text6285;"""Are you not alone, Niko-kun?""" text6286;"""No, why'd you think so?""" text6287;"""I let out a stupid laugh.""" text6288;"""Why was I lying to her again…?""" text6289;"""A girl's shoes…""" text6290;"""…""" text6291;"""Is it Katty-chan?""" text6292;"""Catherine…? What? No!""" text6293;"""Himitsu slipped under my arm and walked into the kitchen, while I dragged myself after her.""" text6294;"""Kagome, meet Himitsu!""" text6295;"""Good evening.""" text6296;"""She gave a dry greeting.""" text6297;"""Sorry for interrupting, Iwamura-senpai.""" text6298;"""You aren't interrupting anything, we were just…""" text6299;"""What? Doing homework?""" text6300;"""There was a higher chance Himitsu would believe we were studying the Kamasutra.""" text6301;"""We've got a joint out-of-class project.""" text6302;"""Kagome said without a shadow of hesitation in her voice.""" text6303;"""Yeah, right! A project!""" text6304;"""Is that so…""" text6305;"""Himitsu curled her lips into an artificial smile.""" text6306;"""Then I really shouldn't interrupt.""" text6307;"""Sorry I didn't warn you…""" text6308;"""She didn't respond, gave Kagome a cold and extremely formal goodbye, and left.""" text6309;"""Wait a minute…""" text6310;"""I caught up to Himitsu on the street.""" text6311;"""In a different situation, I probably wouldn't have cared what she thought, but now only an idiot wouldn't realize that the person I was supposed to meet today was Kagome.""" text6312;"""It's not what it looks like…""" text6313;"""And what does it look like, Niko-kun?""" text6314;"""Her face was expressionless, like a kabuki mask.""" text6315;"""I would guess… In any case, let's talk about this tomorrow!""" text6316;"""I'm busy cleaning tomorrow.""" text6317;"""Then on Monday!""" text6318;"""Then on Monday.""" text6319;"""Himitsu responded in the same cold way and calmly headed home.""" text6320;"""When I returned, Kagome asked:""" text6321;"""Why the hell would you have to warn her?""" text6322;"""Actually, yeah…""" text6323;"""What kind of relationship are the two of you in?""" text6324;"""Relationship? Well, we've known each other since childhood, and as you can see we live right across from each other.""" text6325;"""So, childhood friends and nothing but?""" text6326;"""Yes, nothing but. Why all the questions?""" text6327;"""Just interested, since you're…""" text6328;"""Stop!""" text6329;"""In Japanese, the formal \""you\"" sounded too impersonal.""" text6330;"""I've got a name, you know. Nikolai, I've told you.""" text6331;"""But…""" text6332;"""Stop with the Japanese conventions. Especially since I'm not Japanese!""" text6333;"""Fine, Nikolai.""" text6334;"""She was funnily mispronouncing the \""l\"".""" text6335;"""Oof, no, not like that! You can call me what Himitsu does — Niko-kun.""" text6336;"""No way, we're not that close!""" text6337;"""Well, yeah, I guess…""" text6338;"""Niko-san.""" text6339;"""I felt somewhat flustered — it wasn't often that I was regarded so respectfully.""" text6340;"""Let's go with that.""" text6341;"""Now I really need to go!""" text6342;"""She stood up and waited for me to see her off as was \""appropriate\"".""" text6343;"""Too bad we didn't manage to find out anything today.""" text6344;"""That's not true! We learned a lot about the Corporation, about Kobayashi Jun. It's a good start.""" text6345;"""Didn't take you for an optimist.""" text6346;"""I'm a realist, and this seems to be a pretty adequate assessment of the situation.""" text6347;"""Well, maybe you're right.""" text6348;"""So then, till later?""" text6349;"""Wait, let me at least see you to the station!""" text6350;"""I offered.""" text6351;"""Don't. I don't think I'm in any danger in the middle of the city.""" text6352;"""Kagome smiled me a farewell, waved her hand, and ran off.""" text6353;"""I returned to the kitchen, sat down at the table, and only then realized how terribly tired I was.""" text6354;"""There was a bottle of father's whiskey tucked away in the closet.""" text6355;"""I poured myself a glass and looked through it at the sun that had already almost disappeared beyond the horizon.""" text6356;"""You're not as simple as you look, Iwamura Kagome.""" text6357;"""I was obviously not happy with the current situation, but sorting it out together still promised to be easier than doing it alone.""" text6358;"""And luckily, I would be doing it with Kagome instead of someone else.""" text6359;"""…""" text6360;"""Watching some meaningless talk show on the TV, I quickly got hammered and soon blacked out…""" text6361;"""On the other hand, why would I put up with her escapades?""" text6362;"""She was gonna come running back to me in no time — not like she had a choice!""" text6363;"""Who else would help her?""" text6364;"""I left Kobayashi Corporation's building and raised my head.""" text6365;"""From here, the penthouse looked as distant as the few clouds running through the sky over Tokyo.""" text6366;"""The financial side of this situation most probably didn't affect me as much as it did Kagome.""" text6367;"""Yes, I felt a certain trepidation standing in front of Kobayashi Jun, but it was because of him, as a person who had achieved so much, and not his money.""" text6368;"""I wanted to believe these two things couldn't be equated blindly.""" text6369;"""…""" text6370;"""The business district may not have been particularly crowded on Saturday, but the shopping streets were packed with people.""" text6371;"""I was naturally upset about the fight with Kagome and so wandered around aimlessly.""" text6372;"""Japan is the world's leading supplier of electronics.""" text6373;"""Giant TVs, videotape recorders, gaming consoles, video cameras that could almost fit in your pocket, and even mobile phones!""" text6374;"""Here people could buy anything they wished for.""" text6375;"""At affordable prices, with a discount, on tick with minimal interest…""" text6376;"""To be honest, I was eyeing the shop windows, sometimes feeling a burning desire to buy this, and that, and that over there too.""" text6377;"""But window shopping like this could be dangerous — after all, I had plenty of money.""" text6378;"""That is, if I were to forget I had to live another year off of it, if not more.""" text6379;"""Sometimes I had to make a superhuman effort to not just spend it all in one go.""" text6380;"""Not on electronics alone either — there were also the clothes I didn't need, the useless alcohol, and other \""sweets of life\"".""" text6381;"""I was keenly aware that this was just a way to compensate for the emptiness of my life, patching over my mental wounds.""" text6382;"""It was a foolish and, most importantly, absolutely fruitless practice.""" text6383;"""Following the wonders of science were the wonders of Japanese creativity — anime and manga.""" text6384;"""The motley, drawn heroes were practically jumping out of the posters, luring people into shops and cafes.""" text6385;"""Here you could meet a true friend and find an everlasting love, fight demons and save princesses!""" text6386;"""Or maybe just see the boobs of a pretty classmate — everyone has their own fetish.""" text6387;"""But of course, it all wasn't real…""" text6388;"""I was sure it never discouraged Kyosuke.""" text6389;"""Actually, that too was a way to compensate for something.""" text6390;"""The desire to use someone else's fantasy to experience what's impossible in real life.""" text6391;"""But without all these simulacrums, what would we have left?""" text6392;"""A human conveyor belt, where we were not producing but being produced.""" text6393;"""First preparation, then production where humans assemble other humans and optimize the belt itself, and then, finally, you are shut down.""" text6394;"""I was far removed from this imaginative world, but for many people, it was almost real and no less important than the belt.""" text6395;"""\""I should write a guide: 'Philosophy through the eyes of a Japanese high school kid'!\""""" text6396;"""Before I could finish the thought, someone ran into me.""" text6397;"""Ouch!""" text6398;"""Sorry, are you hurt?""" text6399;"""Look where you're going!""" text6400;"""She barked and immediately disappeared into the crowd.""" text6401;"""Was I really expecting love at first sight like in one of those stupid romance manga Kyosuke's shelves were filled with?""" text6402;"""I didn't even remember the girl's face.""" text6403;"""Ahh…""" text6404;"""A limo stopped on the sidewalk next to me.""" text6405;"""Not much of a rarity around here, but I certainly didn't expect to see the person stepping out of it.""" text6406;"""Kobayashi Ellie in person, in a white dress…""" text6407;"""Oh, Ellie-sama!""" text6408;"""I shouted and was already about to approach her, when an impressively-sized bodyguard in a black suit and dark glasses stepped in front of me.""" text6409;"""The school boor!""" text6410;"""Ellie seemed to be in high spirits.""" text6411;"""It's fine.""" text6412;"""She called out to the bodyguard and he immediately disappeared somewhere.""" text6413;"""I have a name, actually.""" text6414;"""I never would've guessed!""" text6415;"""Nikolai. But you can call me Nick.""" text6416;"""Okay, Nick.""" text6417;"""She responded without hesitation.""" text6418;"""I wondered how many years it would take for Kagome just to call me by my first name…""" text6419;"""What are you doing here, Nick?""" text6420;"""Just taking a walk. We, the simple folk, tend to wander the streets aimlessly like that.""" text6421;"""And what are you doing here, ojou-sama?""" text6422;"""Come on, stop it!""" text6423;"""She laughed and glanced back and forth conspiratorially.""" text6424;"""I wanted to visit a music store.""" text6425;"""Oh, so that's what it is!""" text6426;"""I also theatrically looked about and whispered:""" text6427;"""Wanna check the adult shop? I bet that's where you got your costume.""" text6428;"""Right!""" text6429;"""Ellie suddenly shouted, and I could almost feel the cold metal of a gun at my temple.""" text6430;"""You were at my concert.""" text6431;"""She continued, quieter now.""" text6432;"""It was an accident, I swear to God!""" text6433;"""For some reason, it felt good to poke fun at her, and for a while, I even forgot about my fight with Kagome and conversation with the head of Kobayashi Corporation…""" text6434;"""Yeah, as if I'd believe that!""" text6435;"""Come on, think for yourself! We didn't even know each other just a week ago.""" text6436;"""Then why did you come to my concert?""" text6437;"""I'm just a regular at that club.""" text6438;"""So you like rock music?""" text6439;"""She smiled slyly, even making me feel a bit uneasy.""" text6440;"""Well, yeah, kinda. But I guess not as much as you.""" text6441;"""Well, I just…""" text6442;"""Ellie grew embarrassed.""" text6443;"""I don't think it's easy playing in a band. A shame you have to hide it.""" text6444;"""Yeah, and you're not helping much!""" text6445;"""She scoffed, clearly remembering that time in the music class.""" text6446;"""Although hiding together is more fun.""" text6447;"""She blushed and looked aside, clearly remembering that time we hid together from the principal in a storeroom.""" text6448;"""Anyway, it's cool! And I of all people know a thing or two about being cool!""" text6449;"""Ellie laughed again.""" text6450;"""I'd never think you were so… so…""" text6451;"""Well?""" text6452;"""So…""" text6453;"""Her face expressed an extremely difficult cognitive process.""" text6454;"""Normal?""" text6455;"""Of course you're normal! I never said you weren't normal!""" text6456;"""Then what did you want to say?""" text6457;"""I tried to smile as charmingly as was humanly possible.""" text6458;"""Persistent!""" text6459;"""Ellie finally blurted out.""" text6460;"""Our keyboardist said you had a crush on me! I didn't believe him at first, but now…""" text6461;"""Oh God, that weird guy again.""" text6462;"""You were right not to believe him!""" text6463;"""It took me a second to realize my words might be misunderstood.""" text6464;"""She looked surprised for a moment, then her expression soured.""" text6465;"""Of course I was right!""" text6466;"""And then there was silence.""" text6467;"""Ojou-sama.""" text6468;"""A bodyguard quietly called.""" text6469;"""Oh, right, I should get going actually. Was nice talking to you.""" text6470;"""But Ellie didn't let me leave so easily:""" text6471;"""Wait, do you want to…""" text6472;"""Whatever finishing school she went to clearly didn't have flirting classes.""" text6473;"""Do you want to go to the music store with me?""" text6474;"""Well damn!""" text6475;"""The granddaughter of the director of Kobayashi Corporation herself was asking me out on a date!""" text6476;"""Or perhaps to her I was like an exotic animal from the other side of the globe?""" text6477;"""In any case, we certainly came from completely different worlds.""" text6478;"""Nothing stopped me from agreeing, but I remembered Kagome and our common problem.""" text6479;"""Was this really the time to be having fun?""" text6480;"""Agree""" text6481;"""Refuse""" text6482;"""At that moment, it didn't cross my mind that I might be able to learn something about Ellie's grandfather from her.""" text6483;"""A normal girl stood in front of me — maybe a little haughty, which wasn't surprising considering her family.""" text6484;"""Were the guards and the limo to disappear, maybe the assumed haughtiness would go with them.""" text6485;"""Ellie looked at me expectantly.""" text6486;"""Why not? Let's go.""" text6487;"""…""" text6488;"""We spent a good hour in the music store.""" text6489;"""Ellie eyed guitars and accessories, even played a couple of her own songs and a couple famous ones from the West.""" text6490;"""Thankfully, the bodyguards remained outside, so no one paid attention to us, except maybe to Ellie's music.""" text6491;"""But she ended up not buying anything, which seemed to greatly upset the shop assistant who had spent the whole time obligingly hovering around us.""" text6492;"""…""" text6493;"""Listen, is your name really Elizabeth?""" text6494;"""How do you…""" text6495;"""She looked extremely surprised.""" text6496;"""Is it a secret? I heard it at school.""" text6497;"""Well, yeah, why?""" text6498;"""Nothing, just never would've thought.""" text6499;"""I grinned in good nature.""" text6500;"""You know what!""" text6501;"""She abruptly stopped, stomping her foot, so that the whole street seemed to freeze, afraid of the wrath of their mistress.""" text6502;"""Oh come on! It's a normal European name, really. Take the word of someone who knows a thing or two about Europe.""" text6503;"""Uh huh, sure.""" text6504;"""She smiled and spun in place, while her snow-white dress waved in the wind — she looked like a real ballerina.""" text6505;"""I grew a little embarrassed and averted my eyes, realizing I was shamelessly staring at her.""" text6506;"""Although Ellie didn't seem to have noticed.""" text6507;"""We walked down the street, her bodyguards following at a considerable distance, the limo having completely disappeared from sight.""" text6508;"""Walking around like this really isn't bad at all.""" text6509;"""Is this really new to you?""" text6510;"""No!""" text6511;"""Well, maybe…""" text6512;"""She added, growing sad.""" text6513;"""In that case, I'm glad to keep you company.""" text6514;"""Yeah, when you're invited.""" text6515;"""Meaning?""" text6516;"""Meaning when you're not peeping.""" text6517;"""She was clearly talking about the pool incident.""" text6518;"""I didn't… I wasn't peeping!""" text6519;"""Alright, alright, I'm joking!""" text6520;"""Can't figure you out — you're offended one second and totally fine the next.""" text6521;"""Should I be offended?""" text6522;"""I would certainly prefer if you weren't.""" text6523;"""Although to tell the truth, her reaction somewhat surprised me.""" text6524;"""So where are we going?""" text6525;"""Well, I don't know… Forward?""" text6526;"""Ellie looked at me incredulously.""" text6527;"""Where would you like to go?""" text6528;"""I've never even been here, only caught glances out the car's windows.""" text6529;"""For a second, I felt sorry for her.""" text6530;"""We were almost at the edge of the shopping district, and I got an idea.""" text6531;"""Wanna grab a bite?""" text6532;"""Sure.""" text6533;"""She immediately agreed.""" text6534;"""…""" text6535;"""10 minutes later, we approached the familiar bar.""" text6536;"""Ellie asked the bodyguards to wait outside, and we entered.""" text6537;"""Do come in! It's modest and unassuming but full of heart!""" text6538;"""Seeing us, the Bartender waved his hand and flashed a full smile of all his 32 (or however many he had) teeth.""" text6539;"""Welcome to my restaurant!""" text6540;"""The \""restaurant\"" part made me snort involuntary.""" text6541;"""Each time with a new mistress, eh, Kolya?""" text6542;"""He added in Russian, quieter now.""" text6543;"""Drop it, you!""" text6544;"""I barked and saw Ellie to a table.""" text6545;"""This place is so… unusual.""" text6546;"""She was studying the menu.""" text6547;"""Is the Bartender Russian too? You seem to know each other well.""" text6548;"""Unfortunately.""" text6549;"""No way! It must be nice to have friends from your homeland.""" text6550;"""You know, I've somehow never thought of him that way. Plus, I've been living in Japan most of my life.""" text6551;"""Don't you miss it at all?""" text6552;"""I guess I do…""" text6553;"""With the question phrased that way, I didn't really know how to respond.""" text6554;"""I got used to it.""" text6555;"""Me too…""" text6556;"""You? To what?""" text6557;"""She tore herself from the menu and dreamily looked to the side…""" text6558;"""Then to the other…""" text6559;"""All she needed was a window to stare out of with languid eyes.""" text6560;"""Hey, you of all people certainly don't have much to be sad about!""" text6561;"""You think so?""" text6562;"""Ellie smiled dolefully and ordered some sort of cocktail.""" text6563;"""I don't really know… But you've got your whole life planned out, you don't have to worry about anything.""" text6564;"""Is that a good thing?""" text6565;"""Depends on the person, I guess…""" text6566;"""I realized this was a bad topic.""" text6567;"""You think grandpa will let me play music? Certainly not rock!""" text6568;"""Would you like to?""" text6569;"""I don't know, maybe… I want to at least have a choice.""" text6570;"""And I mean a more substantial choice than what college I'm going to after finishing school.""" text6571;"""I wanted to ask if she could go against her grandfather's will but couldn't bring myself to.""" text6572;"""It was enough to imagine myself in the shoes of the heir to Kobayashi Corporation, and all questions disappeared.""" text6573;"""So it's not clear which one of us has no problems!""" text6574;"""Oh yeah, I've got a splendid choice of paths in life — from a janitor to laborer!""" text6575;"""You could also play music.""" text6576;"""Doesn't bring the most pleasant memories, in a sense.""" text6577;"""Sorry, I didn't mean to…""" text6578;"""To some people, it comes harder than to you. I played before. Bass guitar. But I was blatantly mediocre.""" text6579;"""Really? Interesting!""" text6580;"""Her interest was piqued.""" text6581;"""Were you in a band?""" text6582;"""No, just played for myself, at home.""" text6583;"""Why did you stop?""" text6584;"""Because…""" text6585;"""I wasn't good?""" text6586;"""Not even Paganini had become a virtuoso seconds after taking a fiddlestick in his hands.""" text6587;"""I got bored of it. It happens often to me, with music, with classes…""" text6588;"""Why was I even telling her this?""" text6589;"""You probably don't have any problem with grades.""" text6590;"""It's not that hard if you put in some effort. After all, we're in high school, not studying rocket science.""" text6591;"""She certainly made it look simple!""" text6592;"""Our circumstances in life were polar opposites.""" text6593;"""She had the freedom (and, most importantly, the ability) of choice, while I had the freedom to do nothing.""" text6594;"""And at the same time, she… envied me?""" text6595;"""I couldn't say if I would swap places with Ellie, simply because I couldn't imagine what it was like to live her life.""" text6596;"""You wouldn't like it.""" text6597;"""I chuckled.""" text6598;"""What do you mean?""" text6599;"""Being Nikolai Anokhin.""" text6600;"""I was never up for it in the first place!""" text6601;"""That's for the better.""" text6602;"""The food finally arrived…""" text6603;"""…""" text6604;"""We spent time in the bar all the way to the evening, talking about school, music, even anime.""" text6605;"""Oh, it's so late already! I need to go.""" text6606;"""Nice talking to you.""" text6607;"""You too…""" text6608;"""I looked at the bill and took out some money, while Ellie was having trouble finding something in her handbag.""" text6609;"""Um, I think I forgot my purse. Hold on, I'll go to the boys for a second.""" text6610;"""No need, it's my treat.""" text6611;"""No, that's not right!""" text6612;"""Looks fine to me. In a different situation, we may not have gotten to know each other at all.""" text6613;"""Consider this a date.""" text6614;"""You wish!""" text6615;"""She off of the chair and flashed her eyes angrily.""" text6616;"""Don't play the tsundere.""" text6617;"""I scoffed.""" text6618;"""You can pay me back next time if you want. I'm not too prideful.""" text6619;"""Of course I will!""" text6620;"""Ellie grew embarrassed.""" text6621;"""Next time…""" text6622;"""She gave a short response and quickly walked out of the bar, saying as she left:""" text6623;"""Till the next time, then!""" text6624;"""…""" text6625;"""Damn, Kolya! You've caught yourself one hell of a bird!""" text6626;"""The Bartender immediately appeared beside me.""" text6627;"""Please, don't even start.""" text6628;"""I tossed the money on the table and left.""" text6629;"""I would, gladly, but there's still something I have to take care of today.""" text6630;"""Whatever!""" text6631;"""She scoffed and went inside.""" text6632;"""Had she been living in the real world, Kobayashi Ellie would most likely have been more polite…""" text6633;"""…""" text6634;"""I aimlessly wandered the streets, not thinking about anything in particular.""" text6635;"""Maybe I should've agreed?""" text6636;"""Stare at the guitars, poke fun at Ellie, distract myself a bit?""" text6637;"""But I couldn't forget my fight with Kagome.""" text6638;"""I was just feeling guilty, but what was happening in her heart?""" text6639;"""Apparently I shouldn't have protected her from the truth.""" text6640;"""I didn't know how much she had trusted me before, but now Kagome must've completely grown to hate the entire world.""" text6641;"""And I couldn't even say we hadn't gotten anywhere — we'd managed to learn something at least.""" text6642;"""After everything that'd happened, I seemed to consider myself indebted to her, obliged to sort it all out. Not only the notes and the calls but, most importantly, the disappearance of her father.""" text6643;"""This stupid sense of duty ingrained into me by my parents was often a bane of mine.""" text6644;"""Could you imagine: a natural slacker consumed by thoughts of right and wrong? Ha!""" text6645;"""I was trying to do what was right but constantly stumbled over laziness and egoism.""" text6646;"""Wasn't that what people called hypocrisy or even sanctimony?""" text6647;"""Despite how difficult her personality was, Kagome was at least honest with herself, honest with others…""" text6648;"""…""" text6649;"""The enticing shopping windows gave place to regular narrow Tokyo streets, and soon I ended up at the familiar bar.""" text6650;"""When I entered, the bell over the door rang as disgustingly as ever.""" text6651;"""Heya Kolya! How's life?""" text6652;"""The Bartender spoke in honed, boilerplate phrases, like an automated servant from a science fiction film.""" text6653;"""Although it pretty often seemed to me that many Japanese people, too, were hardly different from robots in their outward behavior.""" text6654;"""At least until you could get to know them better.""" text6655;"""As for the Bartender, I knew him quite well.""" text6656;"""Maybe even too well.""" text6657;"""Man, tell me…""" text6658;"""I started after taking a gulp from the mug that had appeared in front of me on the bar counter.""" text6659;"""If you did something wrong, upset someone and you know it, should you apologize first?""" text6660;"""Considering you know that the person probably doesn't care for your apologies…""" text6661;"""It's about a woman!""" text6662;"""Doesn't matter who it's about! Let's say it's Albert Einstein!""" text6663;"""No, Kolya, it is important!""" text6664;"""He stopped grinning and assumed a serious expression.""" text6665;"""Women do not forget and do not forgive!""" text6666;"""You're exaggerating…""" text6667;"""Am I?""" text6668;"""… I don't know.""" text6669;"""What if you did what you did with good intentions?""" text6670;"""The road to hell is paved with good intentions!""" text6671;"""Could you be serious for a moment?!""" text6672;"""I am serious though. You shouldn't be apologizing for what you said or did, you need to prove you won't do it again!""" text6673;"""I don't know what'll happen tomorrow! And she can't keep reacting to everything the way she does!""" text6674;"""Try to put yourself in her place.""" text6675;"""I tried! I mean… It's not that simple.""" text6676;"""Or I just didn't really want to.""" text6677;"""It was hard to acknowledge, but somewhere deep inside I was glad there were people who had it worse than me.""" text6678;"""Or maybe I wasn't.""" text6679;"""Maybe I was just beating myself up.""" text6680;"""You know what, Kolya? Have another drink, tomorrow's a new day!""" text6681;"""Women are not vindictive.""" text6682;"""I looked at him in surprise.""" text6683;"""They're just evil and have a good memory.""" text6684;"""I sure picked the right person to ask for advice.""" text6685;"""In any case, she should cool down soon, I'm telling you! Sit tight for now, get your thoughts together, think of what you'll say next time.""" text6686;"""Mhm.""" text6687;"""I paid the bill and left the bar.""" text6688;"""The worst part was that he was actually right — I had no other option but to wait.""" text6689;"""…""" text6690;"""Saturday evenings were a special time for me, when I could just go walk around without a purpose, relishing in warm autumn evenings and Tokyo sunsets.""" text6691;"""On the weekdays, there was school, on Friday, I was usually too tired from the week, Sunday was the day before Monday.""" text6692;"""And only on Saturday, it felt like I had all the time in the world and could infinitely prolong the few crimson-red hours of the dying summer, when the day is yet to yield to the long winter night.""" text6693;"""The sinking sun was warming me with its last rays, as if gently smiling and lulling me to sleep, leaving all my problems behind and far away.""" text6694;"""It seemed like this moment could go on forever, that time would just stop, leaving me in the twilight zone between the future and the past…""" text6695;"""But every good thing has the tendency of ending, and very soon I found myself near my house, its windows alight as usual.""" text6696;"""I opened the door and lingered at the entrance for a while.""" text6697;"""Yesterday Himitsu said she'd be waiting for me.""" text6698;"""And now, after everything I'd said to her, she certainly wasn't about to leave me alone.""" text6699;"""Hi…""" text6700;"""I said cheerfully, walking into the kitchen.""" text6701;"""But there was nobody there, no pots on the stove, no dinner on the table.""" text6702;"""Hey…""" text6703;"""I'm here.""" text6704;"""Himitsu's quiet voice came from my room.""" text6705;"""She was sitting on the bed, her arms cast around a giant, pink, stuffed elephant.""" text6706;"""God, what the hell is that?""" text6707;"""I genuinely laughed.""" text6708;"""I won it!""" text6709;"""Himitsu answered, offended.""" text6710;"""We went to the amusement park today, there was a shooting booth.""" text6711;"""And you got enough points to get… to get… this?""" text6712;"""I would've never guessed Himitsu had such good aim.""" text6713;"""Yes. It took several tries though.""" text6714;"""How many is several exactly?""" text6715;"""Several is several!""" text6716;"""Alright, fine. But why did you drag it here?""" text6717;"""It's protecting me while you're away.""" text6718;"""Well, that's one tough protector!""" text6719;"""I approached the bed and slightly jerked the elephant by the trunk.""" text6720;"""Who from though?""" text6721;"""From the people you went to meet today!""" text6722;"""Ah, that's what you mean…""" text6723;"""I let out a deep sigh and sat down next to her.""" text6724;"""It's complicated…""" text6725;"""It really was!""" text6726;"""I didn't even have to lie to Himitsu this time.""" text6727;"""I could simply relay everything that'd happened today to her, but would it make her feel better?""" text6728;"""In short, it's not about me. Not exactly about me.""" text6729;"""Things actually mostly concerned Kagome's father, I hadn't learned anything about the notes and calls.""" text6730;"""So you have nothing to worry about!""" text6731;"""And neither do you, baby elephant!""" text6732;"""I patted the stuffed animal on the head.""" text6733;"""Are you telling the truth right now?""" text6734;"""I realize you have reasons not to trust me, and that's my fault. But I'm not hiding anything from you now! Cross my heart!""" text6735;"""Who was it you met with today?""" text6736;"""It looked like Himitsu had prepared her questions beforehand and repeated them in her mind so many times that nothing could distract her now.""" text6737;"""Well, that was…""" text6738;"""No, I definitely couldn't tell her about Kagome!""" text6739;"""And not because Himitsu would get jealous at all…""" text6740;"""A relative of my father's colleague. The one I told you about yesterday. We tried to find out what happened to him.""" text6741;"""And what happened?""" text6742;"""Everything's fine, he's alive.""" text6743;"""Alive…""" text6744;"""She said ambiguously.""" text6745;"""I mean he's in no danger.""" text6746;"""You're trying very hard to help that person.""" text6747;"""No I'm not!""" text6748;"""I flared up.""" text6749;"""The fight with Kagome was still fresh in my mind.""" text6750;"""Their situation is just tied closely to mine. Or at least that's what I thought yesterday.""" text6751;"""And now?""" text6752;"""Now I'm not sure.""" text6753;"""Anyway, let's stop talking about this! It's night already.""" text6754;"""Are you hungry?""" text6755;"""Himitsu suddenly asked, sounding like the previous conversation had never happened.""" text6756;"""Yeah, I guess.""" text6757;"""I nodded and smiled embarrassedly.""" text6758;"""…""" text6759;"""The dinner was light in all senses: its weight, its volume, and the number of calories it contained.""" text6760;"""But it would be rude to complain.""" text6761;"""I quickly gobbled down something that looked like a vegetable stew and sat behind the table, warming my hands with a surprisingly tasty cup of tea.""" text6762;"""Any plans for tomorrow?""" text6763;"""We're going to do a big cleanup at home.""" text6764;"""Oh, alright then…""" text6765;"""I was even a little glad I wouldn't have to lie to her again.""" text6766;"""I didn't know what I was going to do tomorrow, but considering the recent events, matters to tackle could find me themselves.""" text6767;"""And you?""" text6768;"""Haven't made any plans yet. Maybe I'll clean up too!""" text6769;"""Yeah, right! Have you ever done any housework?""" text6770;"""Of course I have!""" text6771;"""That was the truth, actually.""" text6772;"""Sometimes I really had to do laundry or prepare food.""" text6773;"""In extreme cases…""" text6774;"""Ask someone to help.""" text6775;"""Who would I ask…?""" text6776;"""The person you were with today, for example. You're clearly trying hard for their sake.""" text6777;"""Himitsu, drop it already. Change the record.""" text6778;"""I let out a sigh.""" text6779;"""Or are you jealous?""" text6780;"""Of course I am!""" text6781;"""She pouted.""" text6782;"""You could've asked me, you know.""" text6783;"""Thankfully, this situation doesn't involve you.""" text6784;"""Not thankfully at all.""" text6785;"""Himitsu looked at the clock.""" text6786;"""Alright, I'll go. See you at school on Monday! Try not to oversleep!""" text6787;"""You'll drop by in the morning anyway.""" text6788;"""I definitely will.""" text6789;"""She said seriously.""" text6790;"""Good night then.""" text6791;"""Good night.""" text6792;"""…""" text6793;"""To tell the truth, it was a bit early to go to sleep, but I was pretty tired.""" text6794;"""And Kagome's upset face still lingered in my mind's eye, gnawing at me.""" text6795;"""For some reason, I didn't really believe tomorrow would pass peacefully and I would even find time to clean up.""" text6796;"""\""Misery loves company\"", as they say — it would be foolish to think this is how the situation would end.""" text6797;"""Even in the best case scenario, it would end for me but certainly not for Kagome.""" text6798;"""I already clearly understood I wouldn't be able to leave her alone with her problems.""" text6799;"""And not only because of a sense of guilt…"""