text11427;"""I woke up a bit too early and lay in bed for some time, deciding whether to get up."""
text11428;"""Saturday was just another useless weekend day for me."""
text11429;"""The unsorted groceries were still on the table, looking like the ruins of an ancient city abandoned thousands of years ago."""
text11430;"""I felt better than yesterday, at least I somewhat managed to calm my thoughts, and had the opportunity to sort them out."""
text11431;"""Of course, I kept unconsciously blaming Katya for hiding things from me and blaming myself for my indecisiveness, but all this angst wasn't going to help me find her."""
text11432;"""The only person who knew about Catherine more than me was her mother."""
text11433;"""There was little chance that she had told me everything she knew yesterday."""
text11434;"""Not thinking about breakfast, I quickly got dressed and left the house."""
text11435;"""…"""
text11436;"""Fortunately, Mrs Winters was yet to leave for work."""
text11437;"""She opened the door and rather casually invited me in."""
text11438;"""To what do I owe the honor, Nikolai?"""
text11439;"""I don't think you told me everything yesterday!"""
text11440;"""I walked into the living room, looked around as if searching for something, and awkwardly froze — she hadn't offered me a seat and I lost my momentum."""
text11441;"""How about you take a seat."""
text11442;"""Thank you, I'm fine."""
text11443;"""I said in a tense voice."""
text11444;"""Nikolai, I'm grateful you're here, but I doubt there is any way you can help at this moment."""
text11445;"""So you're saying I should just sit and wait?"""
text11446;"""At this stage — yes."""
text11447;"""You know, sometimes it seems like you don't give a damn about the fate of your own daughter."""
text11448;"""Have you ever considered that I know what's better for my daughter?"""
text11449;"""Oh, I know you don't have the right to make all her decisions yourself."""
text11450;"""Do you want to talk about her pregnancy?"""
text11451;"""I wasn't going to when I came here, but since you started it…"""
text11452;"""Do you really think she needed a child back then?"""
text11453;"""You're speaking about… about a child like it's a toy!"""
text11454;"""I got instantly wound up."""
text11455;"""For God's sake! Don't accuse me of something I haven't done! Maybe I should've handled a few things differently, but I only cared about Catherine's well-being."""
text11456;"""If she was going to give birth, it would be better to happen in the States."""
text11457;"""Reeeally? I always thought it's better for a child to have both parents."""
text11458;"""It is better not to get knocked up at that age! Besides, this is all in the past."""
text11459;"""I bit my lip and turned to the window."""
text11460;"""I envy your composure."""
text11461;"""Would it help if I was anxious?"""
text11462;"""Sounds like a normal human reaction to me."""
text11463;"""She didn't respond, just smiled."""
text11464;"""Mrs Winters…"""
text11465;"""Oh, please, call me Sheryl."""
text11466;"""Mrs Winters."""
text11467;"""I repeated firmly."""
text11468;"""We don't usually address our elders by their first names."""
text11469;"""Oh right, the famed Russian decorum!"""
text11470;"""Mrs Winters, if I can't help in any way, I want to at least know what you intend to do."""
text11471;"""Is this an interrogation? We seem to have switched roles."""
text11472;"""Sometimes I could see Katya in her, but at other times this woman shocked me with the depths of her cynicism."""
text11473;"""Did you know that Catherine isn't happy about the relationship between you two?"""
text11474;"""What would you know!"""
text11475;"""She suddenly frowned."""
text11476;"""You two think you've found love for life! But I know that there are more important things out there!"""
text11477;"""Like what?"""
text11478;"""Like…"""
text11479;"""She said unsurely."""
text11480;"""That's highly classified."""
text11481;"""You aren't trying to say that Catherine works for the CIA too, are you?"""
text11482;"""Too…"""
text11483;"""Mrs Winters scoffed."""
text11484;"""So how is our love a problem for the national interests of your country?"""
text11485;"""It's just a coincidence. Your parents' work is of interest to very dangerous people, and my daughter is of interest to you."""
text11486;"""Are you a dangerous person, Mrs Winters?"""
text11487;"""I squinted, and, suddenly, for the first time, noticed signs of hesitation on her face."""
text11488;"""She puckered her lips and looked away."""
text11489;"""When the circumstances demand."""
text11490;"""In that case, I'm extremely happy that we have such a close and trusting relationship! I would never want to be your enemy."""
text11491;"""I'm glad that your sense of humor is still intact."""
text11492;"""I'm not in a joking mood right now! Mrs Winters, if you know something…"""
text11493;"""If I learn something… and consider it worth sharing, I will tell you."""
text11494;"""She responded in a tone that left no place for further discussion."""
text11495;"""Thinking about it, she had no reason to talk to me at all."""
text11496;"""So why was I still here?"""
text11497;"""You still think that I'm not telling you something, don't you?"""
text11498;"""Are you?"""
text11499;"""If I was, would I have come here of my own will?"""
text11500;"""Who knows…"""
text11501;"""She said slowly, as if weighing every word."""
text11502;"""Mrs Winters, stop beating around the bush! Both you and I know Catherine was kidnapped because of my parents."""
text11503;"""These people — the Japanese, the Corporation, or someone else — think that I know something about their work, that I have some kind of documents."""
text11504;"""And you, in turn, work for the CIA and play an important role in all this."""
text11505;"""Have I missed anything?"""
text11506;"""Only the fact that you're to blame for this kidnapping. No matter if directly or indirectly."""
text11507;"""Or you — because you dragged Catherine back to Japan in the first place."""
text11508;"""So you aren't happy I did?"""
text11509;"""She smirked."""
text11510;"""I can't believe Catherine has spent her entire life with a mother like this! I'm an orphan, but at least I can be proud of my parents!"""
text11511;"""I'm sure the Motherland is proud of them too!"""
text11512;"""Your insinuations don't insult me in the slightest, you're just wasting oxygen!"""
text11513;"""I'd been unwillingly dragged into a war of words with Catherine's mother, like I was arguing with Catherine herself."""
text11514;"""So why wasn't Sheryl Winters stopping this silly, childish argument?"""
text11515;"""Unlike… I readily believe that you don't know and never knew the truth about your parents."""
text11516;"""And what is the truth?"""
text11517;"""She just smiled in response and turned to the door."""
text11518;"""It was nice to see you, but I have a lot of things to do."""
text11519;"""I hope these things are related to finding Catherine!"""
text11520;"""I said as farewell."""
text11521;"""So, the conversation with Mrs Winters left a nasty aftertaste and brought no results except for the weird feeling that she knew something about me that I myself wasn't aware of."""
text11522;"""Besides, she was acting way more politely than yesterday."""
text11523;"""Maybe something happened in the last twenty four hours that cheered her up?"""
text11524;"""And I behaved like a naive fool in front of her!"""
text11525;"""Did I really believe that my words would change anything?"""
text11526;"""I was angry with myself, with Catherine's mother, maybe even with Catherine for not thinking about me when she let herself get kidnapped."""
text11527;"""The idea that she just ran away from home already seemed completely unbelievable."""
text11528;"""I got on the train, and, absorbed in thoughts of Katya, didn't notice when I skipped my station."""
text11529;"""I had nothing to do at home and no patience to just sit around and wait for news."""
text11530;"""I rode on. In a pointless attempt to run away from my problems."""
text11531;"""The centre of Tokyo was left far behind."""
text11532;"""It seemed that with each kilometer I went back in time a decade."""
text11533;"""The district I found myself in could've easily looked exactly the same at the beginning of the century."""
text11534;"""Wherever I looked, there were cozy restaurants and street food joints. It was a hard trial for a hungry person."""
text11535;"""And also, this was exactly where I had met Ichinose for the first time."""
text11536;"""I was walking down the waterfront and couldn't pick a restaurant to eat in."""
text11537;"""One seemed to be to small, another too old, the third one looked good but it was closed, and the fourth one had no free tables."""
text11538;"""In the end, when I stopped by a restaurant called Gifts of the Sea, the station was far behind me."""
text11539;"""To be honest, the place didn't look any different than the others, but my stomach decided that there was no point in walking any further."""
text11540;"""Inside I found a typical Japanese diner, barely bigger than my favorite ramen cafe."""
text11541;"""The few visitors were sipping their soup and loudly talking with the cooks and each other."""
text11542;"""I looked around in an attempt to find a menu or a waiter and saw…"""
text11543;"""Kagome, who was rather skillfully weaving her way between tables."""
text11544;"""She didn't seem to have noticed me."""
text11545;"""I couldn't decide whether to run away or just sit down with dignity and call her."""
text11546;"""Finally, Iwamura looked in my direction and welcomed me with a nice smile:"""
text11547;"""Welco…"""
text11548;"""What are you doing here?"""
text11549;"""It's not polite to greet your customers like that."""
text11550;"""I can do well enough without your advice! How did you find out where I live?"""
text11551;"""So you live here too?"""
text11552;"""I asked, surprised."""
text11553;"""Kagome looked me up and down coldly."""
text11554;"""I was just looking for a place to eat. And picked your restaurant by complete accident!"""
text11555;"""By accident, sure!"""
text11556;"""Iwamura, seriously, I'm not in the mood to start this all over again."""
text11557;"""Again. Just a few days ago she had mentioned Catherine when she was spying on me at the club."""
text11558;"""Why are you staring at me like I owe you money?"""
text11559;"""I'm just thinking what an interesting coincidence it is that first you warn me about Catherine, and then she disappears."""
text11560;"""Disappears?"""
text11561;"""She was kidnapped, to be precise. Don't pretend you didn't know!"""
text11562;"""Naturally, I couldn't be certain that she was involved somehow."""
text11563;"""And, honestly, this strange girl in an apron didn't at all look like a person capable of kidnapping anyone."""
text11564;"""Are you nuts?!"""
text11565;"""Okay, okay, don't get angry. If there is any way you can help…"""
text11566;"""How did you help me?"""
text11567;"""I helped in every way I could."""
text11568;"""Yeah, right!"""
text11569;"""She smirked and started wiping a nearby table."""
text11570;"""I'm serious, a person is missing!"""
text11571;"""So is my father, if you forgot."""
text11572;"""I'm very sorry, but…"""
text11573;"""I didn't finish the sentence."""
text11574;"""In reality, I didn't care in the slightest about her issues, and I had successfully showed her just that every time we talked about this before."""
text11575;"""So expecting any help from Kagome would be foolish, to say the least."""
text11576;"""I understand you must think that I didn't pay enough attention to your situation, but…"""
text11577;"""Iwamura, I know nothing about your father. And you were the one who started talking about Catherine."""
text11578;"""So what? I talked about a lot of things."""
text11579;"""Kagome shrugged her shoulders indifferently."""
text11580;"""Your sources might know more."""
text11581;"""And you are suggesting I take a risk because of you? For the sake of that American I've never even talked to?"""
text11582;"""If that could help somehow, yes. In exchange for… some information that might be useful to you."""
text11583;"""Haven't you been oh-so-insistent that you know nothing?"""
text11584;"""She finally stopped doing her thing and straightened out with her arms akimbo."""
text11585;"""I don't. But I can try to learn something."""
text11586;"""Well, when you have something worth discussing, drop by."""
text11587;"""But for now, stop breathing down my neck, for God's sake!"""
text11588;"""Can I, at least, order some food?"""
text11589;"""Please do!"""
text11590;"""Kagome threw a menu on the table in front of me, scoffed, and walked off to the back."""
text11591;"""The wallet in my pocket was pleasantly heavy with paper bills, my stomach was absolutely empty, and my spirit was down, so I ordered sashimi, a double portion of rice, and sushi."""
text11592;"""Without Iwamura, the restaurant seemed to become emptier. Even the old men, finishing their noodles, grew quiet."""
text11593;"""Admittedly, the cuisine was fantastic!"""
text11594;"""I was a rare guest in expensive restaurants, and, to be honest, barely ever visited any dining places other than proletarian ramen cafes, but they say, one needs not to be a cook to enjoy the taste of fried eggs."""
text11595;"""Kagome didn't show up in the hall once after that, even though I spent some fifteen minutes watching the cooks work with speed that made my head spin."""
text11596;"""Of course, I could call her, but she clearly indicated that she had no intention of helping me."""
text11597;"""And even if she wanted, she most likely just couldn't."""
text11598;"""I walked out of the Gifts of the Sea with my head hanging — there was no point arguing; making a scene in public in the middle of the day wouldn't do me any good."""
text11599;"""Kagome — even if not on purpose — showed me that I got what I deserved."""
text11600;"""Could it have been the same with Catherine?"""
text11601;"""When our relationship seemed to have finally started to get better…"""
text11602;"""Things were bad, at the very least no better than the past day, but the disgusting feeling of satiety was pumping endorphins into my brain, preventing me from completely drowning in the depths of desperation."""
text11603;"""Hawkers, delivery men, and other working folk were running all around the waterfront."""
text11604;"""It was also filled with an unbearable stench coming from the fish stalls nested at every corner."""
text11605;"""I checked the prices and noted that shopping here would be much cheaper than in supermarkets. And the food itself was most likely fresher."""
text11606;"""How many years would it take companies like Kobayashi Corporation to completely strangle these simple workers and replace the many motley fishermen with one huge soulless shopping mall?"""
text11607;"""Multicolored signs in English, endless rows of shelves with processed and packaged fish heads, with loudly colored price tags crossed out several times."""
text11608;"""Sales on the occasion of Golden Week, Christmas, and the capitulation of Japan in World War II."""
text11609;"""Of course, it wouldn't mean that all these people would automatically lose their jobs, but it would become much more difficult to enjoy fresh fish."""
text11610;"""I was casting glances over my shoulder all the time, as if I had forgotten something."""
text11611;"""Of course, someone could be watching me, but today I had no intention to do anything of interest to them."""
text11612;"""It seemed that excessive suspicion had become a habit of mine."""
text11613;"""I wondered where the line lay between caution and paranoia…"""
text11614;"""Nevertheless, I did occasionally spot a familiar face in the crowd, or so I thought."""
text11615;"""Irina?"""
text11616;"""I wouldn't mind talking to her myself, so I wasn't even particularly surprised when I heard:"""
text11617;"""What an unexpected encounter!"""
text11618;"""I noticed you a good ten minutes ago."""
text11619;"""Uh oh, it seems I'm getting out of shape!"""
text11620;"""She suddenly grabbed me by the hand and started walking by my side."""
text11621;"""Didn't know we were this close."""
text11622;"""Come on! You were the one who told me I could pass for a school girl!"""
text11623;"""In a different life, I would've probably enjoyed this woman's attention, but now her over familiarity only evoked aversion."""
text11624;"""But I avoided showing that I would've preferred to keep my distance."""
text11625;"""You probably already know about Catherine's disappearance."""
text11626;"""If that was a question, then yes, we do."""
text11627;"""Perhaps you also know what happened to her?"""
text11628;"""I really wanted to ask: \""Were you the ones who kidnapped her?\"" — but managed to restrain myself."""
text11629;"""Thinking about it, Katya could become a leverage against her mother, but I knew too little of the relationship between the KGB and the CIA to make any educated guesses."""
text11630;"""Are you perhaps blaming us?"""
text11631;"""Are you to blame?"""
text11632;"""How could you! We're not Americans, capable of anything! Even kidnapping a child!"""
text11633;"""But you do need something from me?"""
text11634;"""That is a logical assumption."""
text11635;"""Irina squeezed my arm, and her face lost every trace of the smile just on it."""
text11636;"""It seems that now you've got an additional incentive to cooperate with the wrong people."""
text11637;"""So you know where Catherine is?"""
text11638;"""We know one thing for sure: whatever happened to her, it shouldn't influence your decisions."""
text11639;"""Same old again! I've told you a thousand times by now that I don't know anything! And even if I did, I wouldn't tell after the way you've treated me!"""
text11640;"""The way you've treated me!"""
text11641;"""She scoffed, as if having discovered a bone in her sashimi."""
text11642;"""Must I remind you that we are not the ones who interrogated you, not the ones threatening you and Ms Winters? But we are the ones offering protection."""
text11643;"""I've yet to see any protection…"""
text11644;"""Suddenly, Irina stopped, turned around slowly, and for some time peered warily into the crowd."""
text11645;"""The she suddenly and abruptly pulled me to the side and pushed me against a wall."""
text11646;"""Play along if you want to live!"""
text11647;"""Said Irina Mostovaya, a KGB major, and sealed my lips with a passionate kiss."""
text11648;"""I didn't know how to react to it and froze, unable to move."""
text11649;"""Apparently, my brain activated one of the oldest reactions to danger — pretending to be dead."""
text11650;"""Irina, meanwhile, seemed to enjoy the process to the fullest, trying to stick her tongue into my mouth."""
text11651;"""Rather than really resisting, I simply wasn't in a condition to respond."""
text11652;"""The aggression, persistence, and the fact that I'd been put in a very passive role, brought me no pleasure."""
text11653;"""Finally, she drew away from me and wiped the lipstick now smeared all over her mouth with a handkerchief."""
text11654;"""Was someone following us?"""
text11655;"""No."""
text11656;"""What?"""
text11657;"""I said in shock."""
text11658;"""I just always wanted to try that — It always happens in spy films."""
text11659;"""She smiled innocently, as if apologizing for an insignificant mistake."""
text11660;"""Find yourself another partner for rehearsals!"""
text11661;"""I took a step back from her and abruptly spread my arms:"""
text11662;"""This is not fucking drama club!"""
text11663;"""So angry!"""
text11664;"""Irina responded calmly."""
text11665;"""I'm starting to envy Ms Winters."""
text11666;"""If you intend to keep teasing me, this conversation is over!"""
text11667;"""Relax, I was just joking. Tried to cheer you up. A Soviet person helping another Soviet person."""
text11668;"""Do I look like I have the hammer and sickle inked on my chest?"""
text11669;"""Irina grinned and dragged me along the waterfront."""
text11670;"""Fine, if you want to talk, let's talk."""
text11671;"""As you understand, we keep an eye not only on you but on every significant person in the Project. Including Sheryl Winters."""
text11672;"""But not on her daughter — she is of no interest to us. However, it so just happened that we saw her being kidnapped."""
text11673;"""I couldn't help but stop and stare at Irina."""
text11674;"""She was definitely taken by the Japanese, but I don't know who exactly. Could be the Corporation, could be their intelligence agency. Or, perhaps, yakuza — aiming for a ransom."""
text11675;"""In any case, little here depends on you. But if someone tries to influence you somehow—"""
text11676;"""Thank you for the information, but I hold the security of the girl I love higher than the mythical ideals of communism."""
text11677;"""I interrupted her rudely."""
text11678;"""Apart from the mythical ideals of communism, there's also common sense, that you've got a lack of."""
text11679;"""Meanwhile, we approached the station."""
text11680;"""Well, Nikolai, I warned you, even though I didn't have to. It's up to you to decide what to do next."""
text11681;"""Irina suddenly started speaking in a tone that made ignoring her words impossible — as if that episode with the kiss had been performed by a different person entirely."""
text11682;"""And if you want to keep poking your nose into all this, at least my conscience will be quiet."""
text11683;"""You give me so much care that I don't know where to run from it."""
text11684;"""I grumbled."""
text11685;"""Her intentions were unclear — I could hardly believe that Irina was only driven by worry for me."""
text11686;"""I was still grateful for the information, even though I hadn't always taken her seriously before."""
text11687;"""But I didn't rush to express my gratitude, even though she was clearly expecting something."""
text11688;"""See you."""
text11689;"""Irina finally said, apparently realizing that she wasn't going to get anything else out of me."""
text11690;"""…"""
text11691;"""A few hours later, I found myself at home, sitting in my kitchen."""
text11692;"""I remembered absolutely nothing of what I had been doing or thinking after the meeting with Irina."""
text11693;"""I turned the TV on and was pointlessly switching channels."""
text11694;"""Far as I remembered, in the USSR there were only a few channels that mostly showed adult films and grim-looking men talking about things a child couldn't understand."""
text11695;"""However, when I would wake up on a Saturday morning and run to the screen to watch cartoons, that little box seemed to bring me to the magical land of childhood dreams."""
text11696;"""Of course, there were more channels and cartoons, or anime, in Japan, but that diversity brought with it boredom."""
text11697;"""I would begin with one thing and as soon as the action on the screen couldn't hold my interest, I would switch to another."""
text11698;"""Sometimes I'd switch channels at the same speed a Formula One driver switches gears."""
text11699;"""My brain constantly demanded something new and couldn't focus on the same picture for long."""
text11700;"""In the end, I turned off the TV and picked up a book."""
text11701;"""The letters were running all over the place, hiding from my eyes — the meaning of the printed words was indecipherable."""
text11702;"""I put the book away, sprawled out on the floor, and stared at the ceiling."""
text11703;"""Life spent in ignorance is unbearable…"""
text11704;"""Then what about a life in which there is no place for anything but anxiety about the person you love?"""
text11705;"""I was fully aware of my helplessness, submerged into it, soaked in desperation from the inside, felt the depth of the unbearable nothingness of my existence."""
text11706;"""When Catherine was found — if was found — I wouldn't be the same person…"""
text11707;"""And then I recalled something from the conversation with Irina that I would've preferred to forget."""
text11708;"""She told me that Catherine was definitely kidnapped by the Japanese!"""
text11709;"""Himitsu's father was Japanese."""
text11710;"""Moreover, he worked for the secret service."""
text11711;"""Perhaps in a different situation I would've thought twice, but now I couldn't control myself."""
text11712;"""The decision seemed like the only possibly correct one."""
text11713;"""A minute later, I was ringing the bell of Himitsu's house."""
text11714;"""Like with most situations I'd found myself in recently, I had no real — or, better say, none at all — plan of action."""
text11715;"""What I would say or do would depend on the situation."""
text11716;"""I began to notice more and more often that sometimes I would just give up control over my life and observe it as a spectator."""
text11717;"""However, I had no strength to change the situation."""
text11718;"""The melodic ring of the doorbell sounded positive if anything — very unlike the factory siren of my house."""
text11719;"""It informed the masters of the house of the arrivals of dear guests, prompting them to set the table, open the door, and bring out the bread and salt."""
text11720;"""But of late I was no welcomed guest here."""
text11721;"""Himitsu's father appeared on the doorstep."""
text11722;"""Hello, Ryunosuke-san. We need to talk."""
text11723;"""I began in an unexpectedly firm tone."""
text11724;"""Ito looked at me the way people look at an annoying travelling salesman peddling random wares."""
text11725;"""Even if his garbage is probably of no worth or interest, it is still a curiosity."""
text11726;"""What about, if I may ask?"""
text11727;"""Is Himitsu home?"""
text11728;"""No."""
text11729;"""Good… Where is she?"""
text11730;"""Nikolai, I take it that recently your relationship with Himitsu has worsened significantly. Is that what you want to talk about?"""
text11731;"""That's a part of the problem. But it's a consequence, not the reason."""
text11732;"""Ito kept standing in the doorway like an honor guard."""
text11733;"""Ryunosuke-san, may I, at least, come in?"""
text11734;"""He stepped aside and invited me in."""
text11735;"""In the living room, Himitsu's father offered me to sit on the sofa, while taking the armchair opposite to it."""
text11736;"""So, what do you want to talk about?"""
text11737;"""I didn't want to accuse him of kidnapping Katya right away — but there was no point in beating around the bush."""
text11738;"""You know Catherine, right? The girl that recently returned from the US."""
text11739;"""I don't know her personally, but I've heard about her from Himitsu before."""
text11740;"""And you probably know that she has disappeared, right?"""
text11741;"""No, I don't."""
text11742;"""He responded, but his face didn't look particularly surprised."""
text11743;"""Ryunosuke-san, I know everything about you. How you spied on my family for many years, and are spying on me now."""
text11744;"""I wanted to add something about Himitsu, but the words got stuck in my throat."""
text11745;"""Ito re-crossed his legs and locked his fingers together like a professional psychoanalyst."""
text11746;"""And who told you something like that?"""
text11747;"""You did."""
text11748;"""Is that so?"""
text11749;"""He finally showed something resembling interest."""
text11750;"""I accidentally overheard you talking on the phone in the village a week ago."""
text11751;"""Well, in the light of recent events, that definitely makes a lot of things simpler."""
text11752;"""Ito replied after a long pause."""
text11753;"""What recent events?"""
text11754;"""I can assure you that I have nothing to do with Ms Winters' disappearance."""
text11755;"""If not you personally, then…"""
text11756;"""None of my colleagues have any connection to it either."""
text11757;"""I have different information."""
text11758;"""And where does this information come from?"""
text11759;"""Why does it matter?"""
text11760;"""It matters, Nikolai, because somebody might be trying to misinform you."""
text11761;"""Look who's talking! For how long have you been misinforming me? Ten years?"""
text11762;"""I think you're enough of an adult to not whine like a child."""
text11763;"""I'm not even… I don't even know why I came here! But if you know anything about Catherine…"""
text11764;"""I didn't let him answer."""
text11765;"""Although you aren't going to tell me anyway!"""
text11766;"""I repeat, I know nothing about…"""
text11767;"""I really envy your composure! But I don't envy Himitsu. On the other hand, like father like daughter…"""
text11768;"""I smirked, and my words seemed to sting Ito, who made no attempt to conceal it."""
text11769;"""I would ask you not to involve my daughter in this."""
text11770;"""She involved herself. We've already talked about this, and Himitsu didn't even really try to deny it."""
text11771;"""That's because she is confident that it would be better for you."""
text11772;"""Better?!"""
text11773;"""I shouted and threw my arms in the air."""
text11774;"""Don't you think that's something to discuss with me first? Reporting my every step to Japanese intelligence doesn't exactly strengthen trust in a relationship, you know."""
text11775;"""I only told Himitsu a couple weeks ago."""
text11776;"""That doesn't change anything…"""
text11777;"""I said in a far less confident tone."""
text11778;"""What matters is her reaction and…"""
text11779;"""What she told Catherine?"""
text11780;"""Perhaps one stems from another here?"""
text11781;"""In any case, I wasn't ready to forgive Himitsu yet."""
text11782;"""It's not even about her! Right now I only care about Catherine!"""
text11783;"""You tend to forget the good quickly."""
text11784;"""Do you really want to talk about this? Now? I'll never believe you wanted to see me as your son in law!"""
text11785;"""It's not about that."""
text11786;"""Then what is it about?"""
text11787;"""Ito sighed, stood up, walked to the kitchen, took a bottle of something that resembled whiskey out of a crate, and poured two fingers' worth into a glass."""
text11788;"""You're all already old enough to carry the responsibility for your own actions. But…"""
text11789;"""He sat in the chair and put the glass on the table in front of him."""
text11790;"""As a father, I can't just passively watch Himitsu jeopardize herself by entangling herself with you."""
text11791;"""Is that a threat?"""
text11792;"""It is a fact. However, if you were more flexible…"""
text11793;"""I can't believe that you're trying to merchandise your daughter!"""
text11794;"""I jumped off the sofa and gave him a menacing look."""
text11795;"""But what could I do now? Start a fight?"""
text11796;"""Sit down!"""
text11797;"""Ito said imperatively."""
text11798;"""I don't intend to push Himitsu on you — I don't like the idea myself either — but I can help improve your relationship."""
text11799;"""Isn't that what you want?"""
text11800;"""To be frank, such a thought never crossed my mind — somehow, I couldn't even imagine our relationship would ever be the same again."""
text11801;"""Right now I only care about Catherine."""
text11802;"""I know nothing of what happened to her, and she has never been of any interest to us in the first place."""
text11803;"""He annoyedly snarled back."""
text11804;"""What about her mother?"""
text11805;"""Nikolai, this might surprise you, but not every parent is willing to expose their children to danger."""
text11806;"""What are you trying to say?"""
text11807;"""My fingers gripped the armrest, and my eyes started scanning the room for something heavy to grab."""
text11808;"""Your parents had secrets that cost them their lives."""
text11809;"""There are no secrets that can justify murder."""
text11810;"""Ito said nothing and kept looking at me with something resembling pity."""
text11811;"""Perhaps you're right, but, unfortunately, we don't always have the power to choose our destiny."""
text11812;"""Please, drop the fatalism! It's a bit late for apologies…"""
text11813;"""I have nothing to do with their death."""
text11814;"""I sure damn hope so!"""
text11815;"""I growled through clenched teeth and stood up."""
text11816;"""With that, farewell!"""
text11817;"""…"""
text11818;"""I couldn't say the conversation with Himitsu's father had been completely pointless — but I learned nothing new about Catherine."""
text11819;"""He was saying he wasn't involved?"""
text11820;"""What else could he say? Like, yeah, sorry, that was us, did an oopsie?"""
text11821;"""And what he said about Himitsu…"""
text11822;"""Even if for just a moment, I'd managed to look at her actions from a different angle"""
text11823;"""Of course, that little attempt at revenge and exploiting Catherine's pregnancy did her no honor, but…"""
text11824;"""That little \""but\"" found its place in my thoughts and now cast its shadow on every judgement I had made regarding Himitsu."""
text11825;"""Being alone was unbearable."""
text11826;"""My feet drummed a rhythm on the floor, urging me to dart off and run ahead, not necessarily following a particular direction, but leaving all the excruciating worries and anxiety behind me."""
text11827;"""Each step is valuable in itself, bringing you further from the problems that have to run to get to you."""
text11828;"""It's an eternal race — tip to heel, heel to tip…"""
text11829;"""If you don't stop, they'll never catch you!"""
text11830;"""Except that you can run as long as you want and will never completely escape real life."""
text11831;"""The more distance I was putting between myself and the house, the closer I was getting to the endgame."""
text11832;"""Sooner or later I would learn what happened to Catherine."""
text11833;"""And even if I wouldn't, the pain would gradually die down."""
text11834;"""It's one or the other, right…?"""
text11835;"""It was already past nine o'clock when I found myself in the city centre, in the district of shining skyscrapers, in which modern shoguns resided as if in impenetrable castles."""
text11836;"""Kobayashi Jun, the head of Kobayashi Corporation, was probably also somewhere up there, looking down at the pitiful people on the streets."""
text11837;"""If only I could just get into his penthouse floating in the skies and tell him everything I've had on my mind these last weeks!"""
text11838;"""Although, it was possible he personally didn't know everything that'd happened to me and the people I knew."""
text11839;"""Corporations, albeit resembling a complicated organism, often act like a group of symbionts more than anything."""
text11840;"""What did almighty Kobayashi Jun care about the destiny of Soviet engineers, the life of a simple American girl, or a regular student?"""
text11841;"""But apparently somebody did care about me."""
text11842;"""For the last few hours, I've ceaselessly felt someone's eyes on me."""
text11843;"""I was constantly looking over my shoulder, tried to shake the tail, but it was all useless."""
text11844;"""In the end, it started to feel like I had a huge parasite on my back which had sunk its teeth firmly into my body and was sucking at my internal organs, like a xenomorph whose only purpose was to grow a new creature inside of me."""
text11845;"""The stalker — or stalkers — didn't allow for any mistakes."""
text11846;"""I was weaving in and out of streets, hiding in stores, quickening my step, and dragging myself at snail's pace."""
text11847;"""Had the paranoia finally gotten to me?"""
text11848;"""The sensation was probably like that a mouse feels dissected under the dead light of lab lamps."""
text11849;"""In the end, I got tired of it and just sat on the bench in front of the main Kobayashi Corporation building, crossed my arms and legs, and began to wait."""
text11850;"""Not for something particular, but rather just demonstrating — \""Here I am!\"" \""If you need me, come and get me!\"""""
text11851;"""Naturally, nobody appeared. Not after five minutes nor half an hour."""
text11852;"""The autumn wind blew right through my jacket and I shuddered."""
text11853;"""In the beginning I was determined to sit here until morning if I needed to, but now it felt as if the temperature had instantly dropped by good ten degrees."""
text11854;"""It's interesting how the summer nights are always brighter than autumn ones."""
text11855;"""It was probably tied to the inclination of the orbit, Earth's rotation around the sun, and other celestial mechanics."""
text11856;"""Sometimes I envied people who knew enough to understand the way our world works. Especially when reading science fiction novels."""
text11857;"""The physics of the world on a micro-level, the nature of interaction between different celestial objects, gravity, the speed of light and black holes."""
text11858;"""For me, like for the majority of the population, absolutely nothing had changed over thousands of years — everything around us was still made of aether."""
text11859;"""As Clarke used to say, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."""
text11860;"""So what difference does it make what you believe in — Zeus or String Theory — if you understand absolutely nothing about either?!"""
text11861;"""My father did understand though…"""
text11862;"""I didn't know if he was a genius, but I could say for sure that nature had skipped a generation with his child!"""
text11863;"""Weirdly, at moments like this I could never fully feel my insignificance on the backdrop of the Universe."""
text11864;"""All that humanly incomprehensible machinery was there and I was here."""
text11865;"""Questions on the world's design are interesting, but they didn't affect my problems here and now in almost any way."""
text11866;"""Planck's constant couldn't help me find Catherine."""
text11867;"""Newton's third law didn't impact the interest special forces had in me."""
text11868;"""Himitsu's actions weren't guided by Kolmogorov's charts."""
text11869;"""We all obey the rules of nature and at the same time remain unaware of them."""
text11870;"""The same way an ant crawls into a box of cookies, not knowing that the owner of the pantry had a rough day at work and intends to snack on something sweet while — without even realizing it — crushing him to death."""
text11871;"""Perhaps soon an asteroid the size of Tokyo, without even thinking about it in just the same way, would soon wipe out all life from a small planet at the edge of a tiny galaxy in the cupboard of the endless universe."""
text11872;"""But it wouldn't be today!"""
text11873;"""I had no strength to keep sitting in place — the cold made my head ache, and my thoughts returned from the celestial spheres to the sinful earth, back to the problems they had left behind just prior."""
text11874;"""I guess I exhausted myself enough that I couldn't really keep functioning effectively without rest."""
text11875;"""On the way back, the xenomorph seemed to finally get off my back and go look for another carrier — I no longer felt like I was being followed."""
text11876;"""Home met me with an autumn dampness that seemed to crawl under my skin and made me extremely uncomfortable."""
text11877;"""I had to turn on the heater and wait a very long half an hour before the room finally warmed up."""
text11878;"""Yesterday's groceries watched me from the table with mute reproach."""
text11879;"""I began sorting them out, secretly hoping to find a new galaxy in a pantry, one I could escape to from my problems."""
text11880;"""The phone's ringing broke the silence. I froze in place with a pack of ramen in my hands."""
text11881;"""Hello?"""
text11882;"""Silence on the other end seemed to have come from the bottomless emptiness of the cosmos."""
text11883;"""Beyond the walls of my house was vacuum, vacuum all over, and somebody was calling me from a black hole whose event horizon no sound could escape."""
text11884;"""You know what, how about you go…!"""
text11885;"""I didn't care who it was, but I was sure that they just wanted to make me aggravated."""
text11886;"""The receiver hit the cradle with a characteristic clank."""
text11887;"""I wondered If they cared that we were, in reality, flying on a piece of rock through the cosmic void at a speed of hundreds of kilometers per second."""
text11888;"""Do normal people ever think about that or was I the only schizo here?"""
text11889;"""A nasty rain started drizzling outside, one you don't even notice unless you look out the window."""
text11890;"""But rain also helps you sleep — perhaps the sound of raindrops pushes all the disturbing thoughts out of your head."""
text11891;"""I threw myself into the warm embrace of the bed and soon forgot about both the dampness and Earth's movement through the universe."""
text11892;"""Tomorrow was a new day and would definitely bring with it new troubles, and I had to meet them ready and rested!"""