text10984;"""A bird was singing loudly in the yard. Which was quite unusual for the season.""" text10985;"""I'd never thought about whether Japanese birds fly south for the winter…""" text10986;"""But it was clear that the crows and sparrows had nowhere to go — they were an integral part of the city, same as the skyscrapers, the trains, and the endless traffic.""" text10987;"""And then there the were the pigeons… Flying rats.""" text10988;"""Gathering in flocks, spreading diseases, and shitting everywhere.""" text10989;"""And they're grey, too…""" text10990;"""I rolled over and looked at Catherine — she was sleeping serenely, her hair scattered all over the bed.""" text10991;"""If I were to compare her to a bird, she definitely wouldn't be a sparrow or a pigeon — an eagle, maybe?""" text10992;"""I wondered what she told her mother when she stayed overnight.""" text10993;"""I didn't really understand their relationship, but it was fairly obvious that Catherine had no close female friends in Japan — and what other excuse could she possibly come up with?""" text10994;"""It's not like she could say she was spending the nights at Himitsu's!""" text10995;"""A pajama party…""" text10996;"""I imagined that, and the picture seemed so unrealistic that it evoked nothing but a smile.""" text10997;"""You'll burn right through me if you keep staring like that.""" text10998;"""Catherine opened her eyes.""" text10999;"""Were you playing dead?""" text11000;"""Yeah, like a possum.""" text11001;"""Yuck! Those are the little nasty hamster-rats, right?""" text11002;"""Katya smiled.""" text11003;"""I'd sooner imagine you hunting them!""" text11004;"""Why would I?""" text11005;"""Because you're an eagle!""" text11006;"""What?""" text11007;"""Nevermind.""" text11008;"""Look, I was thinking: what do you tell your mom when you stay at my place?""" text11009;"""Why?""" text11010;"""No reason, just curious.""" text11011;"""I just tell the truth.""" text11012;"""Just like that…? And what does she say?""" text11013;"""What could she possibly say?""" text11014;"""I don't know… She might disapprove, for one.""" text11015;"""She's much more interested in her work than something so trivial.""" text11016;"""Catherine said casually — but it still made me feel uncomfortable.""" text11017;"""How would I look into Mrs Winters' eyes after that?""" text11018;"""Although Katya was probably just joking — even she couldn't just tell her mother she was staying the night at a guy's place.""" text11019;"""It's not like we're doing anything objectionable.""" text11020;"""My parents didn't seem to think so either.""" text11021;"""No, it's just…""" text11022;"""I just always thought that a normal mother would react differently.""" text11023;"""We could wait till the wedding.""" text11024;"""Katya smirked playfully and gently stroked my chest.""" text11025;"""I'm not implying anything!""" text11026;"""Is that so? I think someone down there has a different opinion…""" text11027;"""…""" text11028;"""I caught my breath after another round and looked at Catherine.""" text11029;"""You are even more beautiful after sex.""" text11030;"""More beautiful than who?""" text11031;"""Than usual!""" text11032;"""I'm sure you say that to every girl.""" text11033;"""No way! I usually just pump and dump them.""" text11034;"""I smirked.""" text11035;"""Catherine hid her head in my chest.""" text11036;"""Am I going to end up the same?""" text11037;"""I'll have to think about it.""" text11038;"""Hmmm…""" text11039;"""She said without much enthusiasm — I seemed to have made a misstep in our verbal battle.""" text11040;"""Or not.""" text11041;"""I hugged Katya tighter.""" text11042;"""I wish we could lie like this forever…""" text11043;"""But it's boring! You'd be the first to start complaining!""" text11044;"""But that would be later…""" text11045;"""I never really gave a certain strange detail much thought: Catherine, for how seemingly mature her personality was, really didn't think about the consequences of her actions.""" text11046;"""You could say she never made plans for the future, but in reality, it was a bit more complicated.""" text11047;"""Katya seemed to be driven by impulses, spontaneous desires I didn't understand — but they were almost impossible to notice from the outside.""" text11048;"""Unlike when she was so close in my arms.""" text11049;"""We need to go to school today, remember?""" text11050;"""Since when did you start caring about things like that?""" text11051;"""Well, I don't really…""" text11052;"""And why don't I even have my own pillow in this house?""" text11053;"""Catherine moved away from me.""" text11054;"""Now that is an important question!""" text11055;"""Of course it is! If my neck starts to hurt, you'll have to face the consequences!""" text11056;"""Then why have we never stayed at your place? Has your mom never worked at night?""" text11057;"""Mom…""" text11058;"""Catherine said as if she remembered something long forgotten.""" text11059;"""I have a squeaky bed.""" text11060;"""That is an argument.""" text11061;"""And it's a long way from school.""" text11062;"""Sounds like you're going to move in here!""" text11063;"""That's actually a great idea! Just gotta tell mom about it!""" text11064;"""We laughed.""" text11065;"""You know, Kyosuke said he wanted to hang out on the weekend.""" text11066;"""Well, good luck.""" text11067;"""She replied, not even trying to conceal her resentment.""" text11068;"""With both of us, I mean.""" text11069;"""Won't I be in your way?""" text11070;"""Even though Catherine had opened up to me, she still behaved fairly arrogantly towards other people.""" text11071;"""Kyosuke isn't a bad guy.""" text11072;"""I never said he is.""" text11073;"""But you implied it.""" text11074;"""That's just your imagination.""" text11075;"""So, you don't want to go?""" text11076;"""We'll see. It's time to get up.""" text11077;"""You just told me…""" text11078;"""Catherine tried to get up from the bed, but I quickly grabbed her and dragged her back.""" text11079;"""Hey!""" text11080;"""We have more than enough time for another round!""" text11081;"""No way!""" text11082;"""She tried to break free and delivered a few stinging hits with her fists.""" text11083;"""What are you hitting me for?!""" text11084;"""Because you can only think about sex!""" text11085;"""Okay-okay…""" text11086;"""I released her, and Katya immediately flopped down next to me.""" text11087;"""Not that I mind…""" text11088;"""She whispered.""" text11089;"""But we really need to go.""" text11090;"""What classes do we have today?""" text11091;"""Japanese, Math…""" text11092;"""Math? Shit! Have you done your homework?""" text11093;"""I had no time, dear! I was busy here with you!""" text11094;"""Catherine complained jokingly.""" text11095;"""Well damn… What now?""" text11096;"""I don't think I'll be asked to the blackboard, but you…This sensei really likes flunkers.""" text11097;"""I wish I was just a little lucky sometimes!""" text11098;"""Fortune favors the bold!""" text11099;"""In Russian, we say: \""Fortune favors fools\""!""" text11100;"""Yeah? Then it's weird you have such bad luck all the time…""" text11101;"""You know what!""" text11102;"""I jumped on Katya and started to tickle her.""" text11103;"""There was still an hour before class — we had enough time for breakfast.""" text11104;"""The day started well, and even unfinished homework couldn't make it worse!""" text11105;"""And there was a whole life ahead…""" text11106;"""Things you see in dreams usually seem realistic, all the more so because there, there is no past and no future.""" text11107;"""It's like you're living through a single moment stretched into eternity.""" text11108;"""And if the dream is pleasant, you desperately don't want to return to reality.""" text11109;"""I went back to when my life was clear and simple, just a few years ago.""" text11110;"""It was as if Catherine and I had never broken up.""" text11111;"""I wondered when she got pregnant…""" text11112;"""I rolled over and my sleepiness was gone in an instant.""" text11113;"""I stood up, and immediately felt sick from yesterday's fever.""" text11114;"""But my forehead was cold to the touch.""" text11115;"""I was guaranteed at least another day in this oh-so-cruel world.""" text11116;"""The tap water reeked of sludge for some reason, and I spat it out in disgust as I washed my face.""" text11117;"""I found nothing in the fridge that was even remotely fit for breakfast.""" text11118;"""Of course even soy sauce has enough calories in certain quantities, and you could survive eating only bread and porridge, but what kind of life would that be?""" text11119;"""It seemed like everything was against me.""" text11120;"""I closed the fridge, closed my eyes tight, sighed deeply, and opened it again.""" text11121;"""Weirdly enough, nothing changed.""" text11122;"""I slammed the door as hard as I could, poured some tap water into a glass, took a gulp and immediately spat it out.""" text11123;"""Sludge!""" text11124;"""Today my home was absolutely set against its owner!""" text11125;"""The clock was saying it was eight and change — so, I could make it to my second class.""" text11126;"""School… And Catherine was there.""" text11127;"""And we still hadn't sorted out our relationship.""" text11128;"""Although it seemed that it was the only thing I'd really been doing these past weeks — sorting out relationships instead of finally deciding whether I really wanted to be with Catherine.""" text11129;"""Even despite what she had hid from me.""" text11130;"""Even despite her mother and my predicament.""" text11131;"""In the end, what did it change?""" text11132;"""Real feelings — if they are real — don't depend on external factors.""" text11133;"""And only the belief in something higher, given to me not for my achievements, but rather despite something, still left me unbent under the blows of cruel reality.""" text11134;"""Besides, Catherine's tears yesterday were more expressive than any words.""" text11135;"""So what choice did I have in the end?""" text11136;"""To pretend the last few years never happened and begin from scratch?""" text11137;"""But why would I do that?!""" text11138;"""Himitsu's house looked completely alien, resembling a grim mansion from Victorian England to me.""" text11139;"""How would it have worked out, if she hadn't told Catherine's mother about the child?""" text11140;"""I doubted much would've changed drastically — a pregnancy can only be hidden for so long, and then Mrs Winters would have noticed anyway.""" text11141;"""Of course, in that case, the two of us would've had more time to figure out what to do next, but so what?""" text11142;"""Besides, all these \""could\""s and \""would\""s brought nothing but self-pity.""" text11143;"""And the last person I wanted to be now was a coward drowning in angsty thoughts.""" text11144;"""Not that I was determined to burst into class and throw myself on my knees in front of Katya, but in an instant it was like everything became clear to me.""" text11145;"""As if dirty reinforced glass in my hospital room had finally cracked and fallen apart, blown away by a gust of fresh wind, and through it I could see a whole new wonderful world outside.""" text11146;"""Somewhere deep inside I was even hoping that the sun would shine brighter and people would start smiling at me.""" text11147;"""But at first sight, everything seemed to remain the same: a cold autumn day, gloomy people, and disgustingly punctual trains.""" text11148;"""Inside every person, there is an endless universe, but how often do we really think about the fact that we each collide with hundreds or thousands of these universes every day?""" text11149;"""I had to wait in the corridor for the class to end.""" text11150;"""I felt anxious, pacing back and forth, afraid to run into one of the teachers.""" text11151;"""Not that you'd think I would be! But no, they managed to hammer the subconscious need to follow orders deep inside even my thick skull.""" text11152;"""I felt absolutely no shame for doing the wrong thing, too: I was just afraid of the consequences.""" text11153;"""I didn't need another lecture at the principal's office at all!""" text11154;"""Fortunately, I got lucky, and the bell rang before anyone noticed me.""" text11155;"""I entered the classroom and looked around.""" text11156;"""Catherine's desk was empty.""" text11157;"""Oh, Your Highness has decided to descend to us, the common people?""" text11158;"""Kyosuke was beaming with positivity, as usual.""" text11159;"""Is Catherine here?""" text11160;"""I haven't seen her since morning.""" text11161;"""Of course, she didn't always come to first class…""" text11162;"""Why are you asking?""" text11163;"""I looked at him wearily, as if I had to answer the same stupid question again for the nth time. Which was the case, actually!""" text11164;"""Why do you think? I must want to discuss anime with her!""" text11165;"""I threw my hands up in the air and sat behind my desk.""" text11166;"""Waiting seemed to be the most logical decision.""" text11167;"""Michael tore himself away from his book for a moment to cast a bored glance at me, but I pretended I hadn't noticed it.""" text11168;"""The last thing I needed was another fight with him!""" text11169;"""…""" text11170;"""Meanwhile, the next class ended, and then the next.""" text11171;"""I didn't go to the canteen, afraid to miss the moment Catherine would come, although I had already realized it was pointless to wait for her at school.""" text11172;"""Obviously, there was nothing weird about Katya not coming today (after everything that'd happened!), but a worm of doubt was eating at me from inside.""" text11173;"""What if something happened to her?""" text11174;"""Are you worried about your beloved?""" text11175;"""Kyosuke again.""" text11176;"""Just daydreaming.""" text11177;"""I looked at him mindlessly.""" text11178;"""The yearning of love, I see!""" text11179;"""Love… Does the entire class know already or what?""" text11180;"""You bet!""" text11181;"""He proudly put his arms akimbo.""" text11182;"""Just a few days ago I would have been infuriated by this behavior, but now I had more important things to worry about.""" text11183;"""You know, I guess you're right!""" text11184;"""I jumped off the chair, packed my bag, and walked out of the classroom, not looking at anybody.""" text11185;"""…""" text11186;"""Catherine's buzzer made disgusting sounds that presumably passed as beeps in the minds of its creators.""" text11187;"""But in actual fact they resembled the agony of a gigantic insect. Like a cricket the size of a cat.""" text11188;"""I was counting these beeps in my mind and couldn't decide how many of them I had to hear to safely conclude that Catherine wasn't home.""" text11189;"""I lost my count after the tenth, but the intercom suddenly let out a long squeal and went silent by itself.""" text11190;"""I looked around apologetically, as if I was doing something detestable, but, apparently, no one seemed to think so.""" text11191;"""So, Catherine was neither at school nor at home.""" text11192;"""That wasn't enough to start panicking, although I was already feeling the urge to do just that.""" text11193;"""What if her mother figured out that I learned about the pregnancy? So what?""" text11194;"""No, if something did happen, it had to be way more serious than that…""" text11195;"""I was making my way down the streets of Tokyo right during lunch break.""" text11196;"""Hungry office workers in grey suits were desperately checking out colored shop windows trying to figure out which place had better ramen — or, most likely, just choosing a less crowded one.""" text11197;"""Time is money, after all.""" text11198;"""I was in no hurry and so hung my head and dragged my feet wherever the road took me.""" text11199;"""This happens sometimes: you approach your house and already feel that something is wrong.""" text11200;"""Maybe an unwanted guest is waiting for you there, or you'll find a parking ticket.""" text11201;"""Or, maybe, your wife has taken the kids, the cat, all the money, and even the goldfish in a plastic bag.""" text11202;"""Anything can happen…""" text11203;"""A strong feeling of calamity wouldn't let go of me.""" text11204;"""I stayed at the front door for a few minutes, twirling the keys in my hands.""" text11205;"""What if Catherine was there?""" text11206;"""I quickly opened the door and walked inside — but the house met me with the same hostile silence I had run away from in the morning.""" text11207;"""I looked around.""" text11208;"""A note was lying on the floor in front of the door. Another one.""" text11209;"""God, is this an epistolary novel or something?!""" text11210;"""I didn't dare to pick it up, as if I already knew that it was from Catherine.""" text11211;"""\""Nikolai, I'm sorry, but I can't go on like this. It's all been wrong from the very beginning. Please don't look for me. Catherine.\""""" text11212;"""It was written in English. By Catherine.""" text11213;"""I limply slid down the wall and threw my arms around my knees.""" text11214;"""\""It's all been wrong from the very beginning\"". What's been wrong?!""" text11215;"""Our first meeting, our love, the pregnancy, the break up, her return to Japan?""" text11216;"""The note made no sense at all.""" text11217;"""I looked closer at the note.""" text11218;"""The handwriting was firm, it was written with a blue pen, the paper was carefully folded and didn't smell like anything.""" text11219;"""Yeah right, next I'd be dusting it for fingerprints — at first glance, the note wasn't raising any suspicions.""" text11220;"""But I simply refused to believe that Catherine wrote it!""" text11221;"""Maybe our relationship wasn't all roses, but this was just ridiculous!""" text11222;"""And where could she run away to? Alone…""" text11223;"""She wasn't at home — could her mother have taken her away?!""" text11224;"""As if in echoing my thoughts, somebody angrily knocked on the door.""" text11225;"""Who's there?""" text11226;"""Open the door!""" text11227;"""There came Mrs Winters.""" text11228;"""I opened the door, and she shouted at me right from the doorway, scouring me with her eyes:""" text11229;"""Would you care to explain what this is?!""" text11230;"""She threw yet another piece of paper at me.""" text11231;"""I barely caught it, smoothed it out, and read:""" text11232;"""\""Mom, I'm sorry, but I can't go on like this. This has all gone too far. Please don't look for me. Catherine.\""""" text11233;"""Where is she?!""" text11234;"""The woman pushed me away unceremoniously and entered the house.""" text11235;"""Who? Catherine? She's not here.""" text11236;"""Then where the hell are you keeping her, you fucking lover boy?!""" text11237;"""I don't know where your daughter is! Here, see for yourself!""" text11238;"""I handed my note to her.""" text11239;"""Mrs Winters read it, then stared at me in confusion, and then at her daughter's message again.""" text11240;"""There has to be a mistake… You two are messing with me!""" text11241;"""Seriously, you're the last person I'd be messing with.""" text11242;"""She squinted, as if trying to find a familiar face in a crowd.""" text11243;"""Then what the hell is going on here?""" text11244;"""I actually thought that you might be able to tell me…""" text11245;"""If it wasn't you…""" text11246;"""She didn't finish the phrase, and, without taking off her shoes, walked into the kitchen.""" text11247;"""Would you like some tea?""" text11248;"""I timidly followed her.""" text11249;"""Mrs Winters didn't reply, looked around, and sat on a chair, crossing her legs.""" text11250;"""Nikolai, I really don't want to discuss this with you, but something unforeseen has happened.""" text11251;"""Unforeseen?""" text11252;"""I grinned wearily.""" text11253;"""Even now, she wouldn't stop acting like a CIA agent.""" text11254;"""I can't say for sure that this is related to your situation, but we both understand that it would be better if Catherine hadn't gotten together with you again.""" text11255;"""Then maybe you shouldn't have brought her along like a suitcase?""" text11256;"""Maybe.""" text11257;"""She replied in an unexpectedly calm tone.""" text11258;"""Sorry to bother you.""" text11259;"""Mrs Winters stood up and prepared to leave.""" text11260;"""Wait! That's all? I also want to help!""" text11261;"""You've helped enough, thank you.""" text11262;"""She responded coldly.""" text11263;"""So you think that… Catherine has been kidnapped because of me?""" text11264;"""Nobody mentioned a kidnapping.""" text11265;"""What else could this be? Two nearly identical notes that make no sense… Running away isn't like her at all, I agree with you about that.""" text11266;"""Have any of her personal belongings disappeared?""" text11267;"""Catherine's mother ignored my question. Obviously, nothing disappeared.""" text11268;"""Do you have any ideas?""" text11269;"""No… But it is weird that the kidnappers didn't demand anything right away.""" text11270;"""What could they possibly demand?""" text11271;"""I don't know. For example, the documents that I don't have… Seems like everyone needs them!""" text11272;"""Everyone?""" text11273;"""Catherine's mother rested her hand on the back of the chair and leaned toward me.""" text11274;"""Mrs Winters, are you really going to… keep suspecting me of something, even now?""" text11275;"""And to think that if she hadn't taken Catherine away from Japan at the time, she could've been playing with her grandchildren right now.""" text11276;"""These thoughts made me feel uncomfortable, and I looked away""" text11277;"""Did something change?""" text11278;"""I can help you with the search!""" text11279;"""I wonder how?""" text11280;"""She gave me a gloating smile that didn't suit the circumstances at all.""" text11281;"""That fury on the porch, was, apparently, just a temporary weakness.""" text11282;"""Okay, I don't know, happy now? But I'm sure her disappearance could also be related to your work!""" text11283;"""Do you really think that I would be that irresponsible?""" text11284;"""You know what they say: every corpse on Mount Everest was once an extremely motivated person?""" text11285;"""What are you trying to imply?""" text11286;"""She frowned.""" text11287;"""That in a profession like yours, it's not always enough to be sufficiently… qualified to be successful.""" text11288;"""Accidents happen.""" text11289;"""I don't believe in accidents.""" text11290;"""I'm not saying that this entire thing with Catherine's disappearance and the notes is an accident. But to some extent…""" text11291;"""Think about it: you returned to Japan, Catherine was transferred to my class, I became… let's say, an object of interest for particular people, including you. Hence…""" text11292;"""Well don't you have a nice story here! I can barely believe you don't know anything!""" text11293;"""In any case, these are just words. I'll find my daughter myself and see to it that she never contacts you again!""" text11294;"""Mrs Winters turned around and walked to the hallway.""" text11295;"""Just like you saw to her pregnancy?""" text11296;"""She stopped, but only for a moment, and then, without a reply, walked out of the house.""" text11297;"""So, it wasn't Catherine's mother…""" text11298;"""But then what was this about?!""" text11299;"""Both notes seemed extremely stupid, as if written by a seven year old.""" text11300;"""Even if they contained a hint, I couldn't see it.""" text11301;"""The conversation with Sheryl Winters left me with a bitter feeling of helplessness.""" text11302;"""If even she, a CIA agent, didn't know what was going on, then what was I, a normal Japanese student, to do…?""" text11303;"""I closed the door behind her and checked the fridge again with some hope.""" text11304;"""The problems were there and all, but I had yet to eat anything, and the unconscious part of my brain responsible for the proper functioning of my body didn't care about Catherine in the least.""" text11305;"""My wallet was almost empty, but I had money in my bank account.""" text11306;"""I just had to withdraw some…""" text11307;"""To be honest, buying food at a moment like that is cynical and soulless!""" text11308;"""On the other hand, my brain was about to shut down from hunger — and what then?""" text11309;"""How would that help me find Katya?""" text11310;"""Of course, I could always just get some ramen, but I would need to eat something tomorrow too…""" text11311;"""I carefully examined the insides of my wallet, hoping to find a nonexistent treasure in there.""" text11312;"""But it was just as empty as it had been.""" text11313;"""I had to drop by the bank to cash out the money for the next month.""" text11314;"""And it was only the twenty-fifth!""" text11315;"""The crowd in the store and the necessity of keeping the shopping list in my head somewhat distracted me from thoughts about Catherine.""" text11316;"""I was scolding myself for being more concerned about the choice between beef and pork than what happened to the girl I loved.""" text11317;"""Of course, the brain is a multitasking device. Had I only been thinking about Katya, I would have lost my mind very quickly.""" text11318;"""When I was done shopping, the sun had long disappeared under the horizon.""" text11319;"""I walked out of the store and changed the grip on the heavy bags in my hands — I probably shouldn't have bought so much food at once.""" text11320;"""A strange guy running back and forth on the street stood out in the mundane picture of evening Tokyo like a bright spot on a dark picture.""" text11321;"""I looked closer and realized he wasn't Japanese.""" text11322;"""Can I help you?""" text11323;"""I suddenly asked him in English.""" text11324;"""It was silly — I couldn't even help myself.""" text11325;"""However, apparently, humans become more responsive to other people's problems when weighed down by their own.""" text11326;"""The guy stopped abruptly, eyes bulging out, and stood like that for a few seconds.""" text11327;"""He looked really funny, so I couldn't help but smile.""" text11328;"""Yes! Help!""" text11329;"""He replied in broken English, and jumped closer to me.""" text11330;"""Sorry, me search…""" text11331;"""He immediately grew embarrassed and tried to find the right word.""" text11332;"""Japanese cartoons!""" text11333;"""His face brightened up with a wide smile.""" text11334;"""He'd obviously asked the wrong guy — Kyosuke would be the right person for it.""" text11335;"""Japanese cartoons? You mean a video store or what?""" text11336;"""Video…? No! No!""" text11337;"""The guy started waving his hands.""" text11338;"""I couldn't figure out what his accent was like.""" text11339;"""Maybe he was German or Scandinavian?""" text11340;"""I want get in cartoon!""" text11341;"""He finally managed to say and stared at me with a victorious expression on his puffy face.""" text11342;"""Sorry, no idea where the nearest madhouse is…""" text11343;"""I muttered.""" text11344;"""What?""" text11345;"""I'm saying, I don't understand what you're talking about.""" text11346;"""I… get in cartoon… become part… Here!""" text11347;"""He took a pile of crumpled papers out of a postman's bag on his shoulder and stretched them out to me.""" text11348;"""What's this?""" text11349;"""Every page was filled with characters in sweeping, uneven handwriting.""" text11350;"""The language didn't look familiar to me — maybe it was an Eastern European one?""" text11351;"""What are you showing me? I don't get it.""" text11352;"""The fellow sighed with irritation, took his magnum opus from me, and stuffed it back into the bag.""" text11353;"""How you not know?! You Japanese!""" text11354;"""Do I look Japanese to you?""" text11355;"""Live in Japan — Japanese!""" text11356;"""He replied in a tone that left no room for further discussion.""" text11357;"""Uh-huh, and swim in sea — fish.""" text11358;"""Nobody help!""" text11359;"""He looked pitiful, so I held back the jokes on my tongue.""" text11360;"""How about you explain what you need.""" text11361;"""Cartoons? You know?""" text11362;"""You mean, anime?""" text11363;"""Anime-anime!""" text11364;"""He nodded desperately.""" text11365;"""Okay, say I do. So what's with anime?""" text11366;"""I come Japan to become anime!""" text11367;"""And again there was that disarming smile without a hint of intellect.""" text11368;"""I wish I could be anime, too…""" text11369;"""I couldn't help myself!""" text11370;"""You also be anime?!""" text11371;"""His face lightened up.""" text11372;"""And added in Japanese:""" text11373;"""Thanks God!""" text11374;"""Listen, friend… I really want to help you, but unless you make yourself clear, I don't think I can.""" text11375;"""The future anime, apparently, didn't understand a word.""" text11376;"""He took out his manuscript out again and waved it in the air.""" text11377;"""I. Do. This.""" text11378;"""And then it finally dawned on me.""" text11379;"""You write scripts?""" text11380;"""Scripts, yes!""" text11381;"""He grabbed my hand and started shaking it.""" text11382;"""And you want someone to use it to make anime?""" text11383;"""Anime, yes!""" text11384;"""Well, friend… I can't help you with that.""" text11385;"""But you say that…""" text11386;"""I not do anime!""" text11387;"""I said purposefully louder than was needed.""" text11388;"""All no meaning…""" text11389;"""You came to Japan without knowing anyone here to show someone your scripts?""" text11390;"""That's brave.""" text11391;"""Could I, say, take Catherine away somewhere to forever forget about the past and start a new life?""" text11392;"""I really don't know how to help you, but I have a friend who's an expert in anime.""" text11393;"""The guy looked at me with hope in his sad eyes.""" text11394;"""Okay, wait a minute…""" text11395;"""I called Kyosuke from a phone booth and briefly explained the situation.""" text11396;"""At first, he couldn't figure out what I was talking about, then laughed for a good while, but, in the end, agreed to meet with the poor scriptwriter.""" text11397;"""Got it?""" text11398;"""I explained to the guy where and when Kyosuke would meet him.""" text11399;"""Yes. Thanks you!""" text11400;"""Alright, good luck then!""" text11401;"""I got a bit embarrassed and hesitantly shook his outstretched hand.""" text11402;"""The guy long kept shouting something after me, mixing English, Japanese, and his native language.""" text11403;"""…""" text11404;"""To just to go like that, to the other end of the world, to randomly try and find someone who would be interested in his script.""" text11405;"""Of course I couldn't judge his writing skills, but something told me that the funny fellow had a long way ahead of him to become a professional scriptwriter.""" text11406;"""…""" text11407;"""The lights were on in Himitsu's house, and I suddenly felt a desperate desire for her to be around.""" text11408;"""I wished I never learned the truth about her father, was never in her grandmother's yard on that damned night.""" text11409;"""People say that a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie.""" text11410;"""So what good did that truth do me? Had I become happier by learning it?""" text11411;"""Yes, I was as happy as could be!""" text11412;"""My parents, Himitsu, Catherine… What was I to do with all that truth, cure it for winter?!""" text11413;"""It was clear that Himitsu's father could have some connection Catherine's disappearance, and I was just standing there like a damn stalker, staring at the windows of his daughter's room!""" text11414;"""Fuck you all!""" text11415;"""I couldn't bear the feeling of my own helplessness.""" text11416;"""I messily stuffed all the frozen products into the fridge, took the rest out of the bags, and just left them on the table.""" text11417;"""Meat, eggs, ramen, noodles, tomatoes, ramen, celery, ramen, sweets with unidentifiable tastes, ramen, bread, ramen…""" text11418;"""I could've probably limited myself to just ramen — the nutritional value of my groceries was the last thing I currently cared about.""" text11419;"""However, I needed something mundane to distract myself from that unbearable heartache.""" text11420;"""The news about Catherine's pregnancy and miscarriage were already enough to break me, and now Katya herself disappeared.""" text11421;"""Was most likely kidnapped.""" text11422;"""And I couldn't help her in any way, couldn't do anything — only sort the bloody ramen by flavour!""" text11423;"""The mad fury squeezed my mind in a deathly grip.""" text11424;"""I clenched my teeth tight and put my hands around my head.""" text11425;"""No, I clearly needed a psychiatrist!""" text11426;"""Otherwise, it wouldn't take long before I would become anime myself…"""